Babylon - Damien Chazelle - 2022

★★-Babylon. Yet another film set in the late 1920s and early 1930s in Hollywood, during the transition from silent films to “talkies.” As such it is a movie I feel I've seen multiple times before. Also, not great, though interesting. 

Directed by Damien Chazelle whose claim to fame was La La Land. Overrated. It features an ensemble cast including Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie, Tobey Maguire, Diego Calva, Jean Smart, Rory Scovel (probably the best comedian I've seen live), Jovan Adepo, and Li Jun Li. 

Has multiple Singing in the Rain references. This film also tells that story from much grimier perspective. When the lone character who survives into the 1950s sees the film when visiting Hollywood with his family, he cries. Well, I sort of wanted to cry watching Babylon for being such a waste of talent and potential. 

As someone who loves Pitt and Robbie as well as this time period, the movie was a mixed bag of enjoyable scenes that lacked a cohesive narrative. Overall, it felt like a movie with a bunch of great scenes (the opening dance/orgy bit on the outskirts of Hollywood and the closing credits bit both come to mind) that doesn't do a good job of coming together. Any one scene I probably found enjoyable, but the sum of them felt shallow. One of those flicks that seems entertaining, but at the end it doesn't quite come together to form a complete or even halfway decent story and you leave it feeling shitty. 

“The asshole of Los Angles” scene is incredible. Tobey Maguire was great and disgusting here. Dudes in over their heads have to go into a horribly dangerous situation because of their idiocy that practically screams “get the fuck out.” Also, having to deal with an unhinged rich maniac drinking booze and ether. This is McGuire's character, who is unsettling. Reminded me of Boogey Nights with the “Wonderland” scene based on John Holmes's bullshit that got a bunch of people killed. 

It's said to be a love letter to Hollywood's golden age, which is quite a claim. It also tries to be a commentary on the industry's historical and ongoing issues with diversity and representation. Okay. Glad I didn't set through its over three hour runtime in an actual theater. Underwhelmed is all I'm saying. 

Meet Me in St. Louis is the greatest film of all time

Meet Me in St. Louis. A good easy watching musical. Judy Garland is such a talent in this film of innocent family merriment and stupid men. All these women could do better. Except for grandpa. He’s cool.

Garland sings the quintessential “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”, my favorite melancholy holiday song. She and Vincente Minnelli, the director, met during this movie. Led to the eventual birth of Liza.

At some point all my feminist friends’ talk rubbed off on me. The women in this movie are slaves. Dad is rich but instead of sending them a college, he is marrying them off and giving the husbands a dowry. Pretty messed up. 

On the other hand, the dad is supporting like 20 people and wants to move them to New York but they totally don’t want to do this. Also, no one respects him because he’s a dick.

The little girl that plays Tootie is fucking terrible. Her acting style can be described as exaggerated. There is a good story I found about her getting her bullshit best child actor or some shit Academy Award stolen. Someone found it in a thrift store many decades later and returned it to her. She is still around at 85. Her and June Lockhart, a Garland rival, are both still living. Lockhart is 97. Most memorably from Lost in Space.

Rocketman is the greatest movie of all time

For as long as I can remember, I've hated myself. Believed I'd never be loved. This movie makes Bohemian Rhapsody look like dogshit. Man, that movie didn't age well. This, on the other hand, is tits. 

Rotten Tomato Consensus: It's going to be a long, long time before a rock biopic manages to capture the highs and lows of an artist's life like Rocketman.

Gist is that we get a musically telling of Elton John's life, from childhood through sobriety. Hell of a picture. It's almost a rock opera but there is a decent amount of dialogue, so not technically. Times like a music video, times like a concert, times like a great drama. This has it all. 

Taron Egerton, from the Kingsman movies, is fucking Elton John. That shit is incredible. Does the singing and does a phenomenal job. It's pretty crazy. So the MVP of this movie. Really, an incredible performance.  Thinking of buying some of his stock, if you know what I mean. 

His buddy Bernie Taupin who wrote most of Elton's hits is played by Jamie Bell. A warm, heartfelt performance. Bryce Dallas Howard, Ron Howard's daughter from various M. Night Shyamalan movies is Elton's mom. Richard Madden from Game of Throne, he was Robb Stark, plays a major prick, one John Reid, who managed Elton and was his lover for a while. Was portrayed as abusive and just an all round shithead. He was also portrayed in the Bohemian Rhapsody biopic somewhat more favorably by Aidan Gillen (Littlefinger on Game of Thrones) which is a trip. Directed by one Dexter Fletcher, whom I only know from his role in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. He's the sidekick in that flick, Soap. 

Love a musical. Love this movie. See a lot of Elton John music in my near future, that's for sure. 

Trick or Treat (1986) is the worst movie of all time

Demonic beasts. Whatever happened to the good old simple love song? "I love you." That's what good words use. Nowadays they have to write some sickness. It's just absoultely sick and bizarre... This could kick you off into becoming an absolute pervert.

Before I watched this, the idea I had in my head was that Ozzy Osbourne and Gene Simmons had some evil rock off. That is not what this is about. The two of them, Ozzy and Simmons, have about two minutes of total screentime combined. Obvious that both filmed their parts in one take and were on set for 10 minutes. Ozzy plays a televangelist railing about the evils of rock. The above is a rant he goes on. His shit is broken up into two scenes but the second was an extension of the first rant and then he is murdered through the TV. Simmons seems like he is going to show up again at the end, he plays a radio DJ, when the main characters go to the radio station. Seeing how this shit is going though, you know he will have been killed off by the time they get there and he is, turned to dust. Couldn't get him a second time, obviously. But both these guys throw 100 miles an hour every second they are on screen. Simmons doesn't blink and is intense as shit. I assume he was coked out of his mind. Ozzy is funny for railing against how evil heavy metal is. But those two minutes do not save the movie. Overall, it was bad. Plus there is some ghost rape in here that was really disgusting. Worst movie of all time. An incredible amount of blue lightning though. 

Totally normal

Gist of the movie is that a bunch of raging meatheads bully the fuck out of this teenager, one Eddie Weinbauer played by Marc Price, who is devastated when his heavy metal idol, Sammi Curr played by Tony Fields, dies in a freak Satanic ritual. You know, like normal people. But Sammi comes back to life through the playing of the only copy of his last record, which Eddie has on loan. At first Sammi helps Eddie with his bullying problem, but then ends up just rampaging and killing whoever, eventually turning on Eddie and his new little girlfriend, played by Lisa Orgolini, who I've never seen. Actually, other than the two rockers, I've never seen anyone in this movie except for Large Marge from Pee-Wee's Big Adventure who has a bit part. 

Though the movie was complete trash, it was fun in a very, very trashy way. Never going to watch it again, but I'm glad this is what I spent an October COVID Friday doing. Marc Price is definitely the MVP. He does pretty well with the in-over-his-head bullied teen bit. He never really becomes cool or anything, which is a relief, but does start dating a cute a little chick who just lie starts to appreciate his weirdness. Tony Fields, on the other hand, is playing some serious hero ball. Might be worth watching just for his crazy dancing. I'd say maybe just watch that part, which you can see here. This song I've not been able to get out of my head either, which is unfortunate. Quite the earworm. 

Musical: David Byrne's American Utopia is the greatest show of all time

David Byrne's American Utopia on HBO directed by Spike Lee, filmed from the Broadway show. Love the shit out of David Byrne. I saw the touring show live in Indy at a great venue with really good seats. Fucking sick. Seen over 100 bands in my life. This was by far the best show I've ever seen. American Utopia was more than a concert. It was performance art, something of a TED Talk, and people just stoked to be jamming together.

Really solid and optimistic set. Some of the best of The Talking Heads, minus "Psycho Killer," the show is too positive for that. Definitely the best of his solo work. Some powerful covers in there as well. Some of the setlist includes "Lazy," "I Zembra," "Everybody's Coming to My House," "This Must Be the Place," which is my favorite, "Once in a Lifetime," and so on and so forth. 

I'm obsessed with this show. Listen to it all the time and watched a copy on YouTube at least three or four times. Sooooo, when this dropped on HBO last night, I was stoked, but I'd been enjoying the fuck out of it for a while now. It was great, don't get me wrong. But at one point I sort of asked if this was the best use of Spike Lee at this point. I felt that sort of anyone could have done this, and I thought he sort of fucked up one of my favorite parts, when Byrne dances like a wildman to "I Should Watch TV." It's really fucking sick, but Spike cuts away and we don't see any of it. What the fuck, man? Is this amateur hour?

But there were some cool flourishes, like some cool overhead stuff. Couple of times I was pretty impressed seeing the movement from above like that. Then we got a standard Spike Lee shot at the end when the band rides home on their bikes, this to remind us it is Spike 'fucking' Lee doing this shit, I guess.

The use of space and light is incredible and has to be experienced first-hand to truly be appreciated. That's why this fell a flat, to me. But totally still worth watching. Also made me miss going to concerts and being with the people I went to that concert with, truly some of my favorites and some of the best. But can't be there now or see them, so might as well enjoy this, I suppose.

Holiday Inn is the greatest movie of all time

Holiday Inn. It's Christmas so I'm writing about the movie with the greatest Christmas song of all time. Love a musical. Loved this movie. Most of it, anyway. Then  we get to Lincoln's Birthday (which they celebrate in February, pretty sure they are confusing it with Washington's Birthday). Then it is holy shit. The Bing Crosby character, Jim, is trying to hide the Marjorie Reynolds character, Linda, from the Fred Astaire character, Ted, because he fucking sucks. But Ted is looking for Linda as a mystery woman he danced with on New Years and wants to steal her away. Jim's idea, to conceal Linda's identity, is for him and her to dress in blackface and do a minstrel show number of the song "Abraham". It is fucked up. AMC and other channels even cut the scene out entirely. Apparently former British Prime Minister Theresa May said Holiday Inn was her favorite Christmas film, causing controversy due to, you know, racism. I mean, other than that, it is a great film. But that shit is pretty much impossible to ignore or give a pass since it isn't like this was from the days of D.W. Griffith or something.

Rotten Tomato Consensus: With the combined might of Bing Crosby, Fred Astaire, and Irving Berlin working in its favor, Holiday Inn is a seasonal classic -- not least because it introduced "White Christmas" to the world.

Gist of the flick is that Astaire can dance and Crosby can sing. They both pursue the same ladies, Linda and Lila, played by Virginia Dale, who can do both, basically mesmerizing them with their insane crooning or dancing, depending on the guy. First it is Lila whom they go after. When she breaks Crosby's heart, he goes and opens a hotel that has large, extravagant holiday shows. This with the help of his new love interest, Linda. After the Astaire/Dale pairing falls apart, Astaire weasels his way into the Holiday Inn where he ends up dancing with and instantly falling in love with the Reynolds character. Crosby tries to hide her identity for a while but Astaire eventually finds her and more or less demands that they immediately go to Hollywood to work in the pictures and get married.

The plot barely matters as this is just a vehicle for Crosby to sing and Astaire to dance and those two do the shit out of those things. But if you pay attention to the plot, the movie is pretty fucked. You've got your overt racism. Then there is what a son of a bitch Astaire's character is. His modus operandi is basically wait for Crosby to get serious about a girl and then do everything he can to steal her, even as Crosby shows him insane kindness for someone who does this twice in the same movie. Dude needs his ass kicked and Crosby needs to learn to be a fucking man. Eventually, Crosby grows some balls and tells his "friend" to go fuck himself. He then gets with Lila or Linda or whoever and Astaire gets with the other one. Happy ending all around.

Of note, the song "White Christmas" came out of this movie. After Irving Berlin wrote it in some California hotel, he went back to the office and told his secretary that he "just wrote the best song I've ever written." Adding that "heck, I just wrote the best song that anybody's ever written!" Not a modest one, this Berlin. And, at least in pure numbers, he was right. The Bing Crosby version is the all-time best-selling single with sales in excess of 50 million copies. Was extremely popular with the soldiers away at war during WWII. Combined with other versions of the song, we are talking in the 100 million range. Crunched some numbers and did some half-assed internet research to put this in perceptive. A single goes "Gold" when it sells 500,000 units. "Platinum" when it sells 1,000,000. A single goes "Diamond" when it sells 10,000,000. Only like 20 something songs have ever done this. This is the only song that reached over 25,000,000. No one else have even come close. Not even half way to 25 mill. That is insane. For this alone, going to say that Irving Berlin won the movie. For creating the Christmas song to end all Christmas song.

Singin' in the Rain is the greatest movie of all time

Singin' in the Rain. "I'm laughin' at clouds, so dark up above, the sun's in my heart, and I'm ready for love." Holy shit, this movie. Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer producer Arthur Freed takes all of the best show tunes he wrote with Nacio Herb Brown from MGM best musicals and builds a plot around them. Gene Kelly, Donald O'Connor, and Debbie Reynolds choreograph and sing the shit out of them. MGM, the studio, then scales them to infinity. It's genius. If you don't fucking love the shit out of this movie, there is something really wrong with you. If I'm having a shitty time, this is the movie I put on to break me out of it. "I'm happy again!" This film is light, vividly colorful, a feast in every way a film can be. It is perfect. I will fight anyone who says otherwise. I really believe, like for real real, maybe, I don't know, that this is the best film ever made.

Rotten Tomatoes Consensus: Clever, incisive, and funny, Singin' in the Rain is a masterpiece of the classical Hollywood musical.

Love a self-referential flick, as has long been established. I've been especially into these older Hollywood movies that focus on an even older Hollywood. This flick, Sunset Boulevard, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, so forth. In this one we get a 1950s history of the transition from silent pictures to sound. We even see how it was done in those early days, which is cool. Here we have an actress, Lina Lamont, played by Jean Hagen who is best remembered for her role in John Huston's The Asphalt Jungle, who was a star in the silents but sounds like shit and has to have her voice dubbed. Megastar and Lamont's fake, studio boyfriend, Don Lockwood, played by the Gene Kelly who wins the movie, falls in love with the girl dubbing her lines and providing her singing voice, Kathy Selden played by the lovely Debbie Reynolds. The only real conflict in the movie is that Lamont is a bitch who steals all the credit away from Selden which keeps her from becoming a star. But that shit doesn't work out because this is lighthearted picture.

But here's some weird and interesting shit, Hagen, the actress playing Lamont, when she has her voice budded in the acting parts, Reynolds does sing, of course, is actually using her own voice. So she is using her own voice, but we are lead to believe that the voice we hear is Selden's. Definitely a mind fuck.

So much iconic shit in this movie. First, there is Kelly's "Singin' in the Rain". OMG. Then there is the "Moses Supposes" scene, one of two original songs in the film, where Donald O'Connor as Cosmo Brown, Lockwood's vaudeville partner and sort of his boss as the head of Monumental Pictures' music department, work with a speech coach in preparation for the transition to sound when they just ham it the fuck up and sing and dance all over the goddamned place while this coach guy stands there like an idiot. Love it. The three of them, Kelly, O'Connor, and Reynolds, in character, of course, performing the shit out of "Good Morning," one of my faves from the Judy Garland/Mickey Rooney movie Babes In Arms, worth a watch as well.

But the best has to be O'Connor doing the original, though very similar to Cole Porter's "Be a Clown" from another MGM flick, song "Make 'Em Laugh." The song is awesome and O'Connor's dancing is incredible. His athleticism is amazing. He dances up walls, running up them and flipping back to the ground, and does impressive physical comedy with a mannequin. These are all long shots. No cuts. We see all the moves and the actors have to be spent after their number. This one ends with O'Connor throwing himself through a wall after what can only be truly maximum effort. This movie and this number are the shit.