Holy
shit. I fucking loved this movie. People fucking hate on M. Night
Shyhamalan (MNS). Those people don't know what the fuck they are
talking about. While I haven't seen all of his movies—this may end
up being an upcoming project, who knows—wasn't interested in The
Happening, The Last Airbender, or
After Earth (I
am ignoring his early stuff that isn't even on my radar [Praying with
Anger and Wide Awake]),
there is a lot there of his I fucking loved. As of now my tally is
didn't really care so much for The
Sixth Sense, disliked The Visit for a few things I felt unforgivable, consider
Unbreakable god
tier, loved Signs,
loved The Village
even though I was told the twist ending during the movie, and I
fucking loved Lady
in the Water
aka “The Turd in the Pool” which enjoys a 24% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Whatevs. Loved the first season of Wayward
Pines
too even though the end was the most unintentionally hilarious thing
I have ever seen in my life. I know there is much hyperbole in this
blog. This should be taken literally. I could not stop fucking
laughing to the point that my female companion was worried about my
sanity. Anyway, Split
is a return to god tier.
Pros:
McAvoy is an amazing actor. Phenomenal pacing (no time for bullshit).
The “twist” is understated and fucking sick.
Cons:
Some really uncomfortable stuff regarding child molestation. The
ending, before the “twist” that is, is somewhat anticlimactic.
Disclaimer:
HERE BE SPOILERS
 |
| Remember that shit? Yeah, you do |
I'm
in no way against spoilers. Sometimes I read a wikipedia article
about a movie before deciding if I want to see it. Generally, if
someone tells me something is fucking dope and has a sick ending, I
want to know what it is. Such was the case for this one. When a
coworker was talking about this and how awesome he thought it, he
asked if I knew about the customary MNS “twist”. I had not. “What
is it?” He was all, “I can't spoil that for you, man.”
Generally this makes me a psychopath or something in most people's
minds. But he ended up telling me after some goading. Split is in the
same universe as Unbreakable.
Shut the fucking front door, I need to see this shit for myself.
Did
not disappoint. Near fucking flawless.
The
movie, which I took basically no notes on I was so inthralled, starts
with the kidnapping of three 16ish girls by this super neat guy named
Dennis play by James McAvoy who has a buzzcut, glasses, and a
button-up that is done up all the way to the top who sounds like
Robert De Niro. Come to find out that this is one of 24 personalities
that live within this severally traumatized and splintered gentleman
named Kevin Wendell Crumb. The kidnappees, locked in a room together
and then separated for transgressions, try to figure a way out of the
situation, ultimately resigning which, if any, of the diverse bunch
of “alters” could help them in this task.
This
all goes on while Kevin's psychiatrist, Dr. Karen Fletcher, played by
Betty Buckley who is lovely, discovers something sinister is going on
via vague emails from alter Barry, a fashion designer, that is having
his sessions with doc coopted by the predatory personality Dennis.
Dennis poses as Barry during these meetings in an attempt to prove
that everything is all right. Eventually she catches on to this and
Dennis explains to her what he has been slowly getting at with the
girls, that his new personality, The Beast, is coming and is on a
mission to do some really bad shit.
Once
The Beast actually shows at the end (there was some question on if
that was going happen or if The Beast was fake or something), which
Dennis and this female personality that run the show at the end say
is to protect the innocent/child personality, it is fucking bananas.
This ego is pure fucking chaos. This comes as sort of a shock. It's
like, “oh, so this dude and the movie weren't fucking bullshitting
us. This is indeed really happening.” Anyway, The Beast it seems
possesses supernatural powers with the ability to climb walls, bend
metal bars, sprint like a madman, take shotgun blasts like a champ,
so forth, all while using the girls for sustenance. Yeah, The Beast
is fucking insane.
 |
| Fucking terrifying |
After
killing the two milk toast teens and his doctor, the survivor girl,
who we come to find out has lived through some horrible fucking shit,
gets cornered by The Beast and is a really bad way when we get to the
first ending. This girl, played by that young blonde girl in The
Witch, who lived through the
fucking horror of living with her molester after her father died, it
is revealed has been coping with this by cutting and has been doing
it for a very long while. The Beast sees this and identifies with her
and lets her go because she is wounded.
With
the witness living and all, this shit is obviously all over the
fucking news now. And that's when MNS lays out that fucking
phenomenal second twist on us. Hear that shit on the Philadelphia
news, where the movie takes place, in this little diner. Some lady at
the counter is like, “this is some crazy shit, it's like back when
with that one crazy guy in the wheelchair, whats-his-face,” and
then there is fucking Bruce Willis's bald mug to remind everyone,
“Mr. Glass.” Fucking sick. I instantly wished that I had seen it
in the theater to have experienced that one communally. There is even
buzz that this Kevin fellow made an appearance in Unbreakable
which
is plausible. And
while that sequel you know is coming is likely to be shit with the
hype already surrounding it, for right now, the idea of it is fucking
insane. Anticipating the shit out of that one.
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