Saturday, July 1, 2023

Bloody Hell - Alister Grierson - 2020


★★★★-“What would you do with that (knife)?” “I would save myself and kill your family. You know, standard stuff.” Gist is a guy goes to prison for killing a bunch of bank robbers in the midst of a hostage situation that results in multiple fatalities. I'm not a vigilante guy, but this guy getting eight years was bull shit. I assumed this was made by a foreign winger who doesn't know how the American justice system lauds “good guys with guns,” or a Trumper who thinks this is what really happens despite people like George Zimmerman and Kyle Rittenhouse walking free. But I'm making a lot of assumptions.

Anyway, while in prison, he shoots a spitball at a world map to decide where he is going to move once he gets out. Lands on Finland, where he is immediately kidnapped upon arrival by a family of psychopath cannibals. Some low-hanging vegan jokes. “A vegan is like a person, but...” This in a movie about a cannibal monster. 

The vigilante guy is played one Ben O'Toole. Never seen him before, or anyone in this film for that matter. He reminds me of this maniac roommate I had in college. A combination of him and Mac from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Icould see either of them getting into this type of situation. Meg Fraser plays the hot daughter, dad is played by Matthew Sunderland mom is played by Caroline Craig. She's an older Malin Akereman type. Come to find out they are basically the same age, just a few years older than me. 

Is it perfect? No, but I really, really liked this flick. An over-the-top comedy horror romance movie with a heck of an original weapon to kill the big bad. Can't beat this “how did you you two meet” story either, which he tells to a group of people at a bar, much to everyone's horror. For a guy who is obsessed with saying something cool before he kills someone but fails every time, he delivers a phenomenal last line of the film, which I shan't spoil. Available on Shudder. 

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