Sunday, March 26, 2017

The Man with the Screaming Brain is the greatest movie of all time

This is the type of movie Joe Bob Briggs would have played on Monstervision and given four out of five star. When he gave a movie that many stars, you knew it was going to be shit since he gave the really bad ones higher ratings to keep people watching. I seriously love Bruce Campbell... but at times this was nearly unwatchable. It is fun though.

Pros: It stars Bruce Campbell. The entire salad bar scene is hysterical.

Cons: Ludicrous plot. All over the goddamn place. Sloppy as fuck. Unnecessary creepy and stupid looking robot.

Disclaimer: My notes pretty much always contain some spoilers but I rarely give away the ending.

Notes: Bruce Campbell flick. Written, starring, and directed by. Looks so cheap. Like a soap opera. Other people in the movie include the less famous Raimi brother employing a horrific Russian accent and Stacey Keach. Raimi's character is such a fucking idiot. Spends the whole movie breakdancing about and getting punched for being an fucking dipshit. No one else you've ever seen. Takes place in Bulgaria. Must be cheap to film there.

BC and his wife catch a cab from some Russian con-artist named Igor. He is taking them to god knows where in the longest cab ride ever, occasionally stopping to kick some ass. The action scenes are so bad. BC is business man. His cabby calls him Donald Trump. Sick burn. This movie was ahead of its time. Wife is totally into this dude. Openly flirting with him and BC sends her off with him. They get it on immediately.

Gypsy maid and the Russian have history. She makes out with BC. Steals his cash and a ring that the Russian sold him. It was the ring he gave this gypsy. She sees it and flips. Hits BC in the head so that a piece of his brain is hanging out. Then she kills the Russian. They are both fucked. The ladies then have a catfight which is mostly slapping, purse flinging, and mannequin down the stairs tossing.

So we've got three deadish here. All brain damaged. Keach and Raimi, it was revealed earlier, are working on this anti-organ rejection drug and procedure. Use the good parts from the two dude brains which more or less compete with each other. The rest of the movie is Bruce at his zaniest wandering and thrashing about, trying to get revenge while the two brains in his head fight for dominance. It's a whole movie BC literally punching himself in the face and kicking his own ass. The girl, meanwhile, is placed in a breakdancing robot's body.

It's an insane, shit movie. But again, I didn't hate it. It is what it is and doesn't aspire to be anything more. It's all nonsense but sort of in a good way. I won't ever watch it again but I enjoyed myself and LOLed on more than one occasion.

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