Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade - Steven Spielberg - 1989

★★★★-Same beats as the original dialed up and with Sean Connery. Love it, but maybe not as much as I did as a child. However, it's the funnest of all the Indiana Jones movies. Never regret revisiting this movie. 

Third installment of the original Indiana Jones trilogy. You know the gist. Set in 1938, the film follows Indiana's quest to rescue his kidnapped father, who's a scholar of the Holy Grail that's being held hostage by the Nazis who are also searching for the Grail. 

Directed by the Steven Spielberg. Written by Jeffrey Boam. Stars Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones and Sean Connery as Indiana's father. Also stars Alison Doody, Denholm Elliott, Julian Glover, River Phoenix, and John Rhys-Davies. 

Ford and Connery are both incredible. Them together is electric. Remember Doody being the hottest woman ever. She’s no Karen Allen. I guess hanging out with Leni Riefenstahl and the Fuhrer isn’t all that much of a turn on. Phoenix as Young Indiana wasn’t as great as I remembered. Opening conveniently explains Indiana’s chin scar, nickname, affinity for whips, fear of snakes, his hat and his catchphrase, “it should be in a museum."

Exposition isn’t quite as good as Raiders, but still solid. That's sort of how I feel about the whole flick. Really good, but not the classic that the first film is. 

I think the best part, which might be a little bit of an unpopular opinion, is the humor. First, Brody is hilarious. “I hate to interrupt you!” While Indiana flirts with Dr. Schneider. Love that he’s a vegetarian. Him stumbling around asking if anyone speaks English or ancient Greek. He is obviously not up to the challenge. Funny how he runs into Sallah. I’ve had stuff like that happen to me, running into the one person I knew that city of 7 million people. Catch him immediately. 

Connery, also hilarious. Some great one-liners. "It was rather wonderful," "so did I," "would you say this has been a typical day for you." So forth.

The whole bit in Austria was ridiculous. Indiana pretending to be a Scottish lord unconvincingly just keeps getting funnier. 

So... I was a student of medieval literature. Have to think it has something to do with this movie. Which brings me to a nitpick. The knight guarding the Grail should be speaking middle English or whatever. Yes, that would be weird, but come on. Plus, this guy has to be pretty disappointed. He is guarding the Grail for 700 years. Guy comes to relieve him. He looks like shit. He tells them to choose the Grail among the many cups in the room wisely, then that Nazi guy lets this woman choose for him. She chooses the closest one to her. Not a good call. He dies. Indiana gets the right one, of course, but he tells them specifically not to cross the seal. They immediately cross the seal. Place falls apart and he watches them as they leave him to die after the Grail is swallowed up by the earth. Thanks for coming! It's been real. 

Among the trio of Indiana Jones films, The Last Crusade is potentially my sentimental favorite, mostly because it is just so damn fun. It stands as an exceptionally well-crafted and irresistibly entertaining popcorn movie, brought to life by arguably the most dependable director of such films in American cinema history while at the peak of filmmaking abilities. You get your money's worth in terms of action, delight, and humor. I feel like an ingrate for shitting on it at all. Some may label it as shameless manipulation, but I still view it as a thrilling and captivating display of pure cinematic joy.

Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark - Steven Spielberg - 1980

★★★★★-In contention for my favorite movie of all time. Probably is. Directed by Steven Spielberg. Story by George Lucas. Staring Harrison Ford and Karen Allen. John Williams score. What is not to love?

I've watched it around once a year every year that I can remember. I fantasized I was Indiana Jones as a child. I've seen it twice on the big screen and will go anytime a local theater plays it. This is the most important movie to both at young and now middle-aged AB. It's perfect. Also, seeing Nazis get theirs is my kink. 

Here are my observations over the years... I've been super conscious of exposition over the last few months. Since watching Aliens, basically. When it is done well, it is a thing of beauty. A recent film that comes to mind is Attachment. This film, however, is pure mastery. The scene where they explain to the government guys the Ark of the Covenant, which extends to the scene in Jones's home with Brody telling him “this is the Ark of the Covenant, not something to be taken lightly.” 

Maybe my favorite line of the movie is when Indiana Jones says, “It's not the years; it's the mileage.” Also love Marion Ravenwood's “You can't do this to me! I'm an American!” while she is being kidnapped just before one of the times she is almost blown up. 

Random notes: The big Nazi. Such a professional. Wakes up. Sees there is a fight going down. Pops his shirt off and is ready to go. The monkey reminds me of my cat, Richard Parker. Mischievous little shit. Some shit that makes me feel old. Paul Freeman, the guy that plays Belloq, is like five years younger than me in the movie. 

Snakes are definitely one of those things we are evolutionarily terrified of. Not many animals terrify me, just the usual. Bears and wasps. Bats, though I find them cute, I have an irrational fear of rabies. And of course snakes. I didn't think I was afraid of them, but running I've seen them in the wild and I jumped as high as I ever have in my life. So I feel Indy here. 

Soooo, while Indiana Jones is like the coolest, and Harrison Ford is the best looking man ever in this role, Marion Ravenwood is also so damn cool and Karen Allen so beautiful. I love the combo.

A lot of really interesting casting what-ifs. Jeff Bridges, Bill Murray, Nick Nolte, Steve Martin, Chevy Chase, and Jack Nicholson, among others were considered for the title role. Tom Selleck more or less had it but did Magnum,P.I. Instead.There is a pretty famous and shitty screen test with him and Sean Young. That seemed to work out for everybody. Lucas wanted Debra Winger for Ravenwood, but she turned it down. Spielberg wanted his girlfriend Amy Irving (she was one of the mean girls in Carrie), but she left him for Willie Nelson. Some actress named Stephanie Zimbalist and Barbara Hershey were also considered. 

The two most interesting what-ifs, for me, are Danny DeVito in the role of Sallah (played by John Rhys-Davies), and Klaus Kinski for the leather clad Nazi (maybe take off the leather duster in the desert, ya know?) Toht (played by Ronald Lacey because he reminded Spielberg of Peter Lorre). They wanted DeVito as someone like the title character from Gunga Din. Both were offered the roles, but had prior engagements. 

This movie is perfect, but there are two things I'll address. First, I used to read a lot of movie novelizations as a kid. This included most of Spielberg's movies through Hook. Raiders was one that cleared a major issue up that friends in the fourth grade complained about. Namely that Jones survives the submarine ride across the Mediterranean. In the novelization (and a deleted scene), it is explained that the sub stays on the surface. U-boats rarely submerged during peacetime. Submerging was primarily for combat situations due to the limitations of battery power and electric motors, with a maximum of two hours submerged. Plus the water would have been pretty warm. 

Minor nitpick that survives. Belloq should have known that Ark would kill everyone. In an undergrad religion class I learned this. Both 2 Samuel 6:3-8 and 1 Chronicles 13:7-11 tell of the tragic fate of Uzzah at the hands of the Ark. Gist of this tale is he accompanied the cart carrying the Ark as David brought it to Jerusalem. However, when the oxen stumbled, causing the Ark to tilt, Uzzah instinctively reached out to steady it, unknowingly transgressing divine law. As a consequence, the Lord promptly smote him. So, yeah, don't fuck with that shit. 

Raiders of the Lost Ark stands as the extraordinary American adventure film. It is brimming with humor, ingenuity, and style. It masterfully combines heroic escapades, thrilling cliffhangers, and exhilarating chases, all infused with a delightful blend of nostalgia and cleverness drawn from the golden age of World War II pulp thrillers, comic books, and serials. From its very first frame, this cinematic gem seizes your attention, propelling you on a relentless journey of awe-inspiring exploits. As the credits roll, you find yourself transported back to reality utterly spent and grinning. Wouldn't have gotten that with Selleck, just saying. This is the reason I go to the movies.