Top 10 of 2025: 4. Good Boy

★★★★★--Oh my god. I cannot even write about this movie without crying. Yet another example of how we don’t deserve dogs. This is an awesome take on animals being able to see into the spirit realm. I don’t think any film has made me cry more. Love that Indy, the dog star of the film, is raking in awards. He is really the best boy. I LOVED this film. 

31 Days of Halloween: The Underground: Nightbreed: Clive Barker’s Unappreciated Masterpiece

 Nightbreed - Clive Barker - 1990

 

★★★★★-“Everything is true. God’s an Astronaut. Oz is Over the Rainbow, Midian is where the monsters live... And you came to die.” Day 4 of the Nightmare on Film Street  31 Days of Halloween Horror Challenge. Down in the Underground night. Not sure what that means really so I took it literally and used it as an excuse to revisit this old, favorite, Nightbreed, featuring one of the most outrageously cute Boston terrier ever.
 
I adore this movie. Written, directed, and adapted by Clive Barker from his 1988 novella Cabal. My favorite Barker movie, by far, though it is generally less appreciated than Candyman and Hellraiser, which are also classics. I mean, I LOVE Hellraiser, but this holds a special place, seeing it at a time I was devouring horror flicks, circa 1993, when I was in 5^th grade. It was my X-Men, though it literally is not the same film I saw way back when. 
 
It's a bummer we never got sequels as Barker envisioned the project as a “Star Wars for monsters,” but studio interference led to the heavily recut theatrical version, which was meh. Was more of your traditional slasher, causing it to sort of bomb at the box office which meant no further world-building. But I still revisited it every few years, catching every iteration ever released to home media. The Directors Cut is the way too go, by the by. 
 

Getting this version is sort of lost media miracle. Back in 2009 missing footage was rediscovered (the studio knew it existed but didn’t give a shit), leading to the creation of “The Cabal Cut.” Mark Miller, Barker’s producing partner, ended up tracking down two VHS workprints with nearly an hour of additional footage that wasn’t in the theatrical version.
 
I missed this cut when it was making the horror festival rounds, showing originally at HorrorHound Weekend in Indianapolis. I lived in North Carolina at the time. I tried to make it up for the premier, but I was too broke in 2010. Then, after I moved back to Indiana, it was shown at "Mad Monster Party" in North Carolina in 2012. I was a sportswriter at that time and was still too poor to do shit. 

However, the extended 159-minute cut renewed fan interest, leading to the so-called “Occupy Midian” movement, a phrase coined by Anne Bobby, who plays the female lead, Lori Winston, who is the protagonist Aaron Boone’s girlfriend in the film. In 2013 Shout! Factory released a Cabal Cut that was a little different than what was shown at the horror cons. 

 
The 2013 release sparked enough interest that Shout! Factory tracked down the original film elements in the Warner archives in 2014. This became yet another version deemed “The Director's Cut.” The Blu-ray added an addition 20 minutes to the theatrical run time which featured 40 minutes of footage. The whole process was overseen by Barker himself, marking the culmination of efforts to restore the film to its original, intended form. This is now the definitive cut. It is fucking amazing.
 

Gist of the film is Aaron Boone (Craig Sheffer), falls under the care of serial killer Dr. Decker (played by David Cronenberg), who manipulates Boone into believing he's a murderer. Drugged with LSD, Boone attempts to surrender to authorities but ends up escaping and taking refuge in the underground world of Midian, home to monstrous peoples known as “Nightbreed.”
 
Casting is perfect 1990s nostalgia, like the casting of Doug Bradley, who will always be Pinhead to Barker fans. Craig Sheffer plays lead Aaron Boone. He was quarterback Joe Kane in the greatest football movie of all-time, The Program. He has had a steady career, but never achieved A-list status, which is a shame as he steals the show in everything he is in. Also, quick sidenote, Sheffer was in a relationship with all-time beauty Gabrielle Anwar, she was Fiona on the USA series Burn Notice, which is great. They have a daughter together, Willow Anwar, who does some acting herself. They are now divorced, but they are close enough that Sheffer serves as the godfather to Anwar's children from her later marriage, which you like to see. 


Anne Bobby shares significant screen time. She is great and unexpectedly pops up from time to time. She was in the infamous television show Cop Rock which was a pretty heavy police procedural with musical and dance numbers thrown in. I remembered it fondly and then revisited a few years ago and found it utterly unwatchable. She was also in the Todd Solondz film Happiness, a real pick-me-up that featured a lot of rape and pedophilia that earned itself an NC-17 rating. Saw that in high school and really didn’t like it. 
 
Canadian director David Cronenberg is absolutely stellar as the villain. His performance is next level, and damn he looks cool in that mask. It is fan-fucking-tastic. The scene we first see him wearing it, when he kills this middle-aged couple and then climbs the stair toward a crying little boy is some brutal, disturbing shit, especially considering that the violence against the child is implied. 

Obviously I love this movie. If I text or message with you, I've probably sent you the ridiculous clip above where the guy pulls off his own scalp. Bananas and perfect. Great quick representation of the film as a whole. 

Dark Glasses - Dario Argento - 2022

★★★★★- Another Nightmare on Film Street challenge movie. This one for Italian films. Argento, the master of Italian horror, has a new film so that was an easy choice. A true return to form for him. Loved it.

Gist is a guy who is out there killing prostitutes. One played by Ilenia Pastorelli, a very pretty lady, loses her sight in a car accident that results when the killer pushes her car into oncoming traffic. Her car hits and orphans a Chinese kid. 

She eventually goes to visit the kid in an orphanage. He escapes and they make a deal. He’ll be her guide if she lets him stay there. Eventually, they get to tracking down the killer to get their revenge.

Like what they have going on here, the female lead and the Chinese kid. That is until the kid calls the killer thinking it's a cop the killer murders cop. By the by, this features a lot of incompetent Italian cops. You don't say, right? Anyway, the kid tells the killer where they are hiding out. Spoiler. Kids are fucking stupid. 

This all leads to a cool scene where her and the kid work together to try to shoot the killer. 

Another cool scene comes when Pastorelli’s character gets lost in the woods and feels her way to a building. Once there, she accidentally turns the lights on and has to get them off before the killer shows.

It becomes clear at one point that Argento doesn't know much/anything about snakes.

Great dog movie. Good girl. Also, it is a positive portrayal of sex work. That’s sweet. Like Dressed to Kill, but not transphobic.

Sweet Lu

Lost our dog, Lucille Austero, today. She had a little heart attack and it took her. I tried CPR and took her to the emergency vet within a couple minutes but she was gone despite my best. She didn't seem to be in any pain, nor did she seem scared. She was the sweetest little dog who never hurt anybody. She had more personality than any dog I've ever met and showered me with millions of kisses. I'm glad you chose us, Lu. Thanks for letting us give you a good life. See you in dog heaven.

Isle of Dogs is the greatest movie of all time

An island of dogs you say? I'm in. Also Wes Anderson. Fuck yeah. His typical ensemble cast and Brian Cranston. Stop-motion-animation. Japan. How can this not be amazing? But was it amazing... It was. It was the greatest movie of all time.

Some podcasts I listen to were giving this movie shit. Saying stuff like it doesn't make any statement whatsoever, there is no feeling to it, lots of cultural appropriation, and the story is garbage. To all of these people I say chill out. I don't really need a movie to make a goddamn statement in the Trump era. I go to the movies to to think about stuff that is not that. These are good dogs. Good dogs are the greatest, noblest creatures on earth. I love movies about them that don't involve humans losing them. This is a beautiful movie with a strong dog bias. So lay off, cat people. You've got Life of Pi and the internet. 

Rotten Tomato Consensus: The beautifully stop-motion animated Isle of Dogs finds Wes Anderson at his detail-oriented best while telling one of the director's most winsomely charming stories.

Pros: That Wes Anderson style and color usage are on point. Cute, sweet dogs everywhere on an island. Does a good job of telling what each character is about without overly explaining shit, which I loathe. It's the only dog movie I can remember that didn't make me tear up. 

Cons: Ludicrous story which occasionally gets lazy but it is fun. 

After a trio of canine diseases threatening to jump species infect most of the dogs in dystopian Megasaki City in Japan, Mayor Kobayashi (voiced by Kunichi Nomura) proposes the extreme action of quarantining all of the pups on the island where the city sends its trash. In a symbolic gesture, Kobayashi deports the family dog, Spots (voiced by Liev Schreiber), to the island first. This leads to his ward, his young, orphaned nephew Atari (voiced by Koyu Rankin), steals a plane and heads to the island in search of his pet/bodyguard. He is assisted in his quest by a ragtag group of pups with their own unique and interesting story. From there, a group of pro-dog advocates are inspired to question the government which ultimately leads to the uncovering of a vast pro-cat governmental conspiracy. It is sort of insane. 

The ensamble cast is super impressive, as Anderson's movies universally are. Voice actors for the main pack of dogs include Bob Balaban who was Russell Dalrymple (the head of NBC) in Seinfeld as King, Cranston as pack leader Chief, Jeff Goldblum as Duke, Bill Murray as Boss, and Edward Norton as beta Rex. Other dogs are voiced by F. Murray Abraham as Jupiter (the one with the brandy barrel), Scarlett Johansson as Nutmeg (the sexualized one), Harvey Keitel as leader of the cannibals Gondo, and Tilda Swinton as Oracle who speaks TV. Some notable humans include Greta Gerwig as the blond girl with the fro, two-time Oscar winner Frances McDormand as Interpreter Nelson, and Yoko Ono as Assistant-Scientist Yoko-ono. 

He should sue

There are some that are weird going on here like in any Wes Anderson movie. Like Mayor Kobayashi straight up murders a dude by tainting his sushi with poisoned wasabi. This was suspected by fringe conspiracy theorizing pro-dog folks, they happen to be correct though, whom it is implied proved that Kobayashi offed the dude. After Kobayashi sort of has his redemptive moment, everyone is fucking cool with him again. He goes to jail because he is a fucking murder (not to mention extreme dog hater), but everyone is like "aw, Kobayashi-san!" Fuck that guy. Another guy that can go fuck himself is that Major-Domo dude who at the end when everyone is back on the dog bandwagon still tries to gas them all. Dude looks straight up like the giant from Twin Peaks, by the by. Just look at those mugs. The only thing in the movie that really annoyed me was the Japanese hacker kid from Tracy's newspaper extracurricular (Tracy is the chick with the fro) who saves the day at least twice in storytelling that is lazy AF. Also, I sort of just realized that Tracy is in high school and she has a crush on/ends up with Atari who is 12. Gross, main. 

Though a lot of those things are ridiculous, this movie still fucking rocks. I totes want to live on dog island and would if my girls got sent there. As a hardcore atheist, this is sort of my secret religion. Getting licks from all the dogs I've loved throughout time for all of eternity. Getting choked up thinking about it. And I'm crying.

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan is the greatest movie of all time

Here we are, months after I started watching the Friday the 13th movies, still making our way through another franchise with Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, more or less universally considered the worst of the bunch, this movie is garbage... but also the greatest movie of all time. On one hand, these things have been getting exponentially worse with each sequel. On the other, they have getting exponentially more watchable. This movie gets off course early and is a total free fall into what the fuck by the end. Holy shit this movie is weird even by this franchise's standards.

Gist of the movie is that a bunch of high school students go on some weird boat trip to New York, Jason tags along, kills most everyone on said boat, reaches Manhattan, and then kills most of the rest of them there (as well as some of your average 1980s New York thugs) before getting drowned in toxic waste and reverting back to child-form. Again, what the fuck? How? Believe the hype surrounding this movie, greatest fucking movie ever. Especially that boxing scene. That was fucking amaze balls.


Pros: The boxing scene is hilarious. Jason looks cool. The change of locale is sort of interesting and we get a really cool shot of Jason in Times Square. They don't kill off the dog.

Cons: The plot is all over the place and makes no sense. There aren't really any good kills. They change the rules of the game (Jason can suddenly teleport). The ending is really bad and really insane.

Aw

Notes: Here's some shit about this piece of greatness... Obviously, again, intended to be the last in the series (shockingly, it wasn't), some say this shit show was fucking doomed. When Paramount first started marketing the movie, the original poster was Jason tearing through an "I ❤ NY" poster with a bloody knife. Yeah, the New York State Department of Economic Development (or whatever it was called then), which owns the trademark to the logo, was pissed the fuck off. Paramount toned it down by making the knife not bloody, not really the point, and the committee filed a formal complaint resulting in the studio retracting the image. What's worse, in following previously established precedent, Lar Park-Lincoln, the Carrie type survivor girl from Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood, apparently asked for a modest increase in pay from nearly nothing to dirt. The studio, as they had with every single survivor from the previous seven films, said "fuck no!" and they let her go. And that was that. Paramount really didn't give a shit about these goddamned movies.

Looking at the film itself, some bizarre decisions were made. Opening the movie we get a couple hooking up on a boat with one exposed breast. They suddenly stop so the gentleman here can tell the Jason story. During this tale they coincidentally bring Jason back to life unearth blue lightning when their boat anchor hits a 3000 volt power line that runs from the mainland to the camp at the bottom of the lake. They dead. Also early on we get this really strange side story with the hunky love interest guy. He is maybe out of high school and working as an assistant captain or is in high school and working as an assistant captain while his classmates party and get murdered below deck. What a fucking loser. Am I right? His old man relinquishes command to him, strangely, and he immediately fucks up because he is not qualified to do this job. Nice. Nepotism and incompetence. Immediately following this scene, after the kid storms out, the standard old crazy guy comes up and tells him that the voyage is doomed. I suspect with amateur hour here that even if Jason weren't on the boat that this would still be the case.

Now we start getting a bunch of kills on the boat. Most of them are lame city they make it clear that Jason can definitively teleport in this one. This is most apparent when he is the disco room with the Asian girl as Jason totally teleports around the dance floor before killing her. In sum we get kills with the following implements: a guitar, a sauna stone, a harpoon, Jason's mitts, and a navigation system (Jason throws a dude into it who catches fire before he hits the fucking thing), among other things. Eventually chaos ensues and the ship starts to go down. But not before Jason teleports up the mast one last time to throw some loser off down onto the decks below. He also T\tosses the black dude in the ocean before the boat actually sinks.

Only ones to make it off are the old dude, stupid heart throb, the survivor girl, her mom or whatever (who disappears at some point), the black dude (who they pick up in the ocean), and the dog. As they approach the city, the black dude explodes with a burst of horrible acting. It's fucking insane.

Some further ridiculous stuff with Jason becomes apparent here. First, Jason crawls out of the ocean behind the lifeboat. Apparently Jason swims to NYC. Funny that a kid that drowned is now able to marathon it from the middle of the sea. Second, on the docks of Manhattan he sees a billboard with his hockey mask on it and is weirded out. We also see a young Jason a couple of times. He looks completely different than he did before but whatever. This is foreshadowing to the end or something.

Back to the survivors. They have now discovered that New York is a 1980s hellhole, per usual. Before they even realize Jason is on the island with them they get robbed and the survivor girl gets kidnapped. These kidnapper guys don't give a fuck. This is how my parents think of New York right now, by the by. These dudes shoot her up to rape her. It's insane. Jason actually intervenes and saves the day here. Out of nowhere he pops up and stabs one of the guys in the chest with a hypodermic needle filled with drugs. The other guy, however, is not impressed with Jason who tries to fight him. Jason smashes his head through a steam pipe. He dead. Also, heroine has no affect on the girl who is up and on the move while Jason gets his killing on.

Around here we get what is easily the best scene in the movie: Jason boxes the black guy on the top of an apartment building. It was fucking insane (see the first gif). The guy connects like 400 straight punches before tiring himself out just when he has Jason with his back to the wall where he could potentially punch him off the side of the building. The rope-a-dope works pays off. Jason was down on points but wins on a knock out. Jason literally punches the dude's head off. It looks terrible and is amazing.

A cop shows up to arrest Jason and immediately dies. The remaining boaters hop in the cop car and hit Jason who appears as a child as they make their getaway causing the car to crash and eventually  explode. This conjures up a repressed memory from the survivor girl's childhood where the teacher chaperone dick bag guy scares the piss out of her about Jason being in the lake and throws her in off a row boat. Child Jason is at the bottom of the lake and pulls her down. She is like "you almost made me drown." He is like "uh... oh, when I taught you to swim?" The love interest dude is like "you son of a bitch" and the dude is kicked out of the group just in time for Jason to wake up. The old dude runs away into a building. Jason teleports in and throws them out a window. He then drowns him in toxic waste which is just chilling there like barrels of toxic waste do outside of industrial buildings.

Now we are at the beginning of the end which is quite the journey. Don't remember how they got there exactly but dream boat and survivor girl start making out in a big pile of trash, great time for a first kiss. It's short lived as Jason busts through knocking over a bunch of garbage. They flee and take the subway. Jason is on there. The teleporting thing. This begins this amazing montage of Jason just being an aggressive asshole. First he tools and a bunch of losers. The teeny bopper dude, I think, tackles him at the end of the line and knocks him into an electric grill. Sort of slows him down for a minute. Next thing you know you get Jason in Time Square, my second favorite scene in the flick. Punks see this and rage, for some reason, and decide to fuck with him. All he does is take his mask off which scares the shit out of them. Everyone is still running. They end up in Monk's Diner, maybe. People are barely fazed by Jason. Just another day in New York for them, I guess. Jason, on the other hand, seems to struggle with this many people to kill. Instead of slaughtering indiscriminately, which is what you would sort of hope for, he just focuses on these two.

Makeup Artist: Nailed it

STILL RUNNING, they end up in the sewer. Some guy, a sewer laborer, pops out of nowhere just to tell them the sewer fills up with toxic waste every night at midnight. Why? That seems dubious. New York in the 80s, yo. The boaters figure this is good time to bring up their issue and tell the guy about Jason who suddenly shows up, no surprise there, and pipe wrenches the laborer to death. To get away the girl splashes Jason with toxic waste that is just laying around. Jason takes off his mask. His face looks comically shitty and completely different than it has in all the other movies (it's never the same twice, strangely). This gives everyone enough time to escape as toxic waste starts rushing at Jason. You hear Jason's child voice saying "mommy, don't let me drown." That's fucked up. Then he throws up and drowns in toxic waste with his head turning into a rotting pumpkin. From there we get some more blue lightning and voila, Jason turns another child version of himself. What the fuck? I'd just leave him in the sewer. What the fuck did I just watch?

Researching what the hell that was about, I found an interview with director Rob Hedden where he explained the ending thus: “In the first film a young boy drowns and we find out it is his mother who is the one that has been killing everybody.  It’s not Jason.  That was a great twist, but young Jason still propelled the whole thing.  So, in our movie, he drowns in the toxic waste and turns back to that young boy.  I wanted to have it come full circle.  His soul has finally been released.”

So that was Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, a movie that really tested my Greatest Movie of All Time pledge. But it was totally awesome in a bizarre, train wreck kind of way.