Super Troopers 2 is the greatest movie of all time

First off, if you haven't seen or didn't like the original Super Troopers, then there is no reason for you to see this movie as it is more of all that. Gotta say that I was pretty worried that this movie was going to be garbage. I fucking LOVED the original Super Troopers and the two other movies of their's that I've seen (Beerfest and Club Dread). Though their movies are never very highly regarded among critics, Beerfest is their highest rated film on Rotten Tomato scoring a 41%, but what the fuck do they know. Those movies were awesome. But the trailer for this one... had me super worried indeed. That whole "feather duster croissant Les Miserables fart catcher Luc Robitaille perriere Fran Tarkenton something something parfait," bit was anti-funny. Thankfully, that was the only part that was like that and even that scene was one they end of salvaging when they told the couple they had pulled over that the secret to life is "happiness in your household." Trust me, they turn it around. Regardless, I was LOLing pretty much the whole movie. I guess my sense of humor is still one of slapstick and one-liners. Greatest movie of all time.

Rotten Tomato Consensus: Meow that the wait for Super Troopers 2 is finally over, all but the most devoted fans mustache themselves why they waited so long for such cruel and tragic shenanigans.

Pros: Funny as fuck. The opening scene was great. Features one very pretty lady. Absurd in a good way. Solid stoner humor.

Cons: It's super asinine/juvenile but what are you a film critic? Not as rewatchable as the original.

Gist of the movie is the US and Canadia are in the midst of border dispute whereupon the super cops--Captain O'Hagan (Brian Cox), Farva (Kevin Heffernan), Foster (Paul Soter), Mac (Steve Lemme), Rabbit (Erik Stolhanske), and Thorny (Jay Chandrasekhar)--are put in charge of policing the area while the area transitions from Canadian land to American. The Canadian townsfolk, especially the Royal Mounted Police whose jobs they are taking and the mayor of the town Guy LeFranc (played by Rob Lowe) who has a lot of stuff going on that would become illegal when the town moves to the states (i.e. brothels, 10% ABV beer, so forth). As they settle into their new temporary positions, the group uncovers an international smuggling ring that's pretty reminiscent of the original. On comes the high jinks and hilarity and so forth.

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Chandrasekhar (Thorny) directed the film which also stars Lynda Carter (who was the original Wonder Woman in the TV show) as the Governor of Vermont, Emmanuelle Chriqui who plays the very pretty French chick Genevieve Aubois, and Tyler Labine the pudgy bearded guy in Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, Hayes MacArthur who is the partner in Angie Tribeca, and Will Sasso who was the big guy from MADtv played a trio of Mounties.

We also get cameos from Clifton Collins Jr. who is one of those "oh yeah, I recognize that guy" dudes who I most recently remember from the series Westworld where he played El Lazo/Lawrence, Marisa Coughlan who was Ursula in the original, stand up comedian Jim Gaffigan who was Mr. Larry Johnson that they pulled the meow prank on in the original, the unfortunate Fred Savage who plays himself, and Jimmy Tatro who was the alleged dick drawer Dylan Maxwell in American Vandal.

What was easily my favorite scene in the movie, which sets the tone up nicely, also features cameos from Seann William Scott (Stiffler in the American Pie movies) and Damon Wayans Jr. where they are cops that pull over and kill one of the super cops, Mac, during a high speed chase. This is during a dream sequence where the group is a world famous police band. The guys then use Mac's corpse as a distraction that they throw out of the back of the bus onto Stiffler's squad car. It's surreal and hilarious. I LOLed.  

Nothing to complain about here. This is a movie I've wanted for years. They did it and it is funny as hell. Almost didn't happen either. For the last 15 years or so the group had been working on a sequel with rumors circling that it was just on the horizon. But it kept not happening. At one point Chandrasekhar expressed doubts that it was going to every happen, saying at Comic-Con in 2006 that the movie "has sort of a special place in a lot of people's hearts, so all we can do is mess it up." But then they got a script written along with the rights to film. However, no one wanted to fund it saying that no one would go see the sequel that in their opinions was a decade too late. But around that time crowdfunding became popular and they tried it out and boom, they raised close to 5 mill and that was that and they were able to produce the greatest movie of all time.

So go see that shit. I want to keep seeing Broken Lizard's absurd AF flicks.

Club Dread is the greatest movie of all time

I love the Super Trooper guys (their group is called Broken Lizard) and don't get why they don't make more movies. Club Dread, which I fucking love, is not well liked by audiences or critics. I think it rules. Those sheeple don't know what they are talking about. Basically, this movie is universally considered “unfunny”. Well, that shit is subjective. I think it is hilarious. I am not going to argue for why those people are wrong but they are. 

Movie follows the employs on a resort called Pleasure Island that is owned by Buffett-esque musician Coconut Pete. The employees and some guests are getting murdered while the ones that are left try to solve the mystery of the killer's identity. If this were like a murder-mystery weekend, I would totally be fucking down. 

Bullshit Rotten Tomatoes Consensus: Comedy is too hit-or-miss in this slasher spoof.

Drinking away in Pina Coladaburg

Pros: HILARIOUS. I LOLed through several parts of the movie. Nice satire on the slasher genre. Better done than say a Scary Movie. Nice little story as well, And Then There Were None esque. Very pretty ladies.

Cons: Pretty long. There is a period in the middle that sort of just drags on forever where nothing really happens.

Disclaimer: My notes pretty much always contain some spoilers but I rarely give away the ending. 

Notes: Movie takes place on Pleasure Island. Opens with this raging asshole who is getting it on with this two chicks. They immediately break so many horror movie rules that you just know they are going to die. So out of control and disrespectful it is insane. He like uses some local deity icon thing as a phallus and hooks up with ladies on this tomb. Throughout all that there are like 10 jump scares that all end up being red herrings. Brunette has great breasts, by the way. Of course they all eventually get murdered. See the brunette almost make it back to camp but the killer chops her head off. Cool POV kill where we see the head rolling from the head's perspective.

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From there they then go back in time about an hour. Spend so much time setting that guy up as the world's biggest douchebag. We meet all the characters here. Ramathorn is a dreaded tennis instructor. Landfill is a masseuse. There is a fun cop, a DJ, a Costa Rican dude who is all about Bone Town, a fitness instructor who is one of the survivor girls and is very fit. She was the love interest in Joe Dirt. Most memorable, though, is Bill Paxton as Coconut Pete. This character is Jimmy Buffett. At one point they are in a song circle and someone tells him to play “Margaritaville” which pisses him off. Says his song was “Pina Coladaburg” and that Buffett ripped it off.

Anywho, this vacation spot looks fucking sick. Solid activities. Constant parties. Drinking. Drugs. Live action Pac-Man. Murder. Looks fucking dope.

The DJ tells the story of this guy named Colletti who got his dick chopped off by a machete, went on a murder rampage, and escaped into the jungle. He was then forever known as “Machete Phil” which is funny. Other little funny bits include one of the survivor girls, Penelope. Costa Rican dude always pronounces her name “Peen-el-ope”. There is also a Jaws moment where this old, grizzled security guy is all like “you know what has to be done,” and then the camera slowly pans to him as he drones on nonsense. Later the guy is talking shit to the killer, things like “face me like a man,” when the killer walks up to him, slashes his throat causing his immediate death. He was sort of protecting this Asian girl at the time. She runs off, get on a golf cart, fiddles with the keys, finally get it in drive. Goes about five miles an hour. Killer walks up to her and kills her. Ha.

All in all, solid movie. Good death scenes with a lot of humor. I totally love this flick.