Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die: Powder does air-guitar

★★★★--I loved this movie, though it was far from perfect. The realest, darkest comedy you’re ever gonna see, yes. But it also has a giant man-eating cat with a giraffe neck made of other living cat heads and a body of a goat that pees glitter. Yeah, when it eats, the little cat heads on the neck sort of puke out glitter. Once you get there, you realize “oh yeah we’re in a Black Mirror episode.” An AI nightmare. 
 
The person I watched this with was physically angered by this development. He said he almost walked out at that point and ultimately wished he had. “It was like a movie about AI written by AI,” he groaned. Personally, saw that as part of a long critique on the dangers of AI and a subverting what has been a cliché my entire life by making it realistic. Because we’ve all seen our fair share of AI crap in the last couple of years, we recognize a “shitty prompt” when we see one. As Michael Peña’s character says, “[AI] is gonna get so much worse,” or something like that. And elsewhere, “You’ve normalized this... You just can’t see how bad it’s gotten.”
 
Speaking of, I hate that guy. The actor. Scientologist, ya know. He was especially irritating in this… But it does have three of the most beautiful women in the world, all of whom start out at this random diner. Though it is in Los Angeles. They are Haley Lu Richardson (she’s the Florence Pugh looking young woman in the second season of White Lotus), Zazie Beetz from the second Dead Pool movie, and Juno Temple (she plays the popstar Keeley Jones in Ted Lasso). Sam Rockwell and White Lotus Florence Pugh were both great. Rockwell is on fucking fire as the Man from the Future. And unhinged. 
 

When talking about AI, the future man says shit like “There's some shit that's about to come down that I can't prepare you for. It's going to try to give you everything you ever wanted, but in the end, it will all be a lie.” And “Somewhere inside of you, you know the way things are, the way we're heading, the way people are with each other. You know the world's going to shit.” This is indeed how things feel at present. We all know this. It was nice to hear this in a creative film. Basically saying AI is super bad, but we are already fucked. No putting that genie back in the bottle. It is inevitable. Which is interesting and true, but also kind of where the film falls apart. 
 
For example, at some point it becomes clear that future man is at that diner because there is someone there he knows, which is obvious pretty early in the movie but is shown as a big reveal. However, because he knows her in the future, he doesn’t pick her until this time, the 117^th time he has tried and failed in this missing, wanting to keep her safe. If he wanted to keep her away from harm, why doesn’t he go anywhere else? One of several things that don’t make any fucking sense and make this confusing as hell. 
 

As far as the characters and the, spoiler, failed mission, I think where they made the mistake (assuming they were in reality at any point in the movie, because maybe they weren’t) was when they put the USB in the box. Was glad it was not a happy ending, because society is beyond fucked and AI fucking things up even more is just around the corner. That’s how reality really works. Can’t have a happy ending AI movie. We’ve been warned about it all these years and now it’s here. And it fucking sucks. Who could’ve predicted this? That’s $1 million question and now we’re just sitting back waiting on it to ruin the world more than it is already fucked. 
 
A return to directing for Gore Verbinski, who is one of the most hit or miss directors of all time. He’s been in director jail for the last decade since A Cure for Wellness bombed hard in 2016. The hits include Mouse Hunt, The Ring, the first two Pirates of the Caribbean movies, The Weather Man, and Rango. The rest, all more or less unwatchable, were The Mexican (at one time a guilty pleasure), the third Pirates of the Caribbean movie, and the truly god awful The Lone Ranger with Johnny Depp as fucking Tonto and “100% a cannable” Armie Hammer as the Lone Ranger. Yeesh. Did result in one of the greatest Onion headlines of all time, “Ecstatic American Indians Praise The Lone Ranger: ‘Finally Our Story Is Being Told,’ Tribespeople Say.” 
 

Ye olde finding-the-omnipotent-bald-child routine

Overall, highly recommend. Beautifully done. Fantastic opening. Dialogue is great. Super entertaining. Lot of homages to genres films, especially The Terminator, 12 Monkeys, and The Matrix. Also, Groundhog Day, Her, and Edge of Tomorrow. But won’t be on my top 10 come the end of the year as there are complaints. 
 
It reminded me of one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, Miracle Mile. I was super into Denise Crosby sexually as a small child and watched everything she was in. This one angered me at the time, a lot to do with the film’s bleak cynicism. Apparently, I’m not the only one who thought this. I remember the film implying a dream out and then being like, no this is real, which I found bullshitty. So obviously not something for the positive column. Though I appreciate Don’t Die’s absurdist cynicism. 
 
Powder doing air guitar is the lamest thing I’ve ever seen. Didn’t need to be two hours and 15 minutes long. But what do you trim? The film’s ending, and probably ours, is The Matrix where humanity thinks they’ve won. Sort of a bullshit ending. Was any of a real type of bullshit that I hate. Thought it was very good up until the last 10 minutes. Again, the beginning was absolutely amazing. The second act was pretty good. Third act was pretty good until it fell apart at the very end. Sort of leaves you disappointed at the end, but that’s OK. Funny but sad as fuck.

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri is the greatest movie of all time

Continuing with the Academy Awards movies, talking about Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, which I saw a few weeks back. One of those Oscar movies. Was up for a bunch of awards. Won the Golden Globe for Best Picture. Not that Oscar though. It was pretty alright though I feel it became cool to hate on it. Probably not the most zeitgeisty movie of 2018 and was likely to ruin everyone's careers if it won all those awards, like Crash did for whatever reason, but it is by no means a shit movie like I'm suddenly hearing. Part of it is was this a comedy? A drama? A comerama or what have you? Directed by one Martin McDonagh who did In Bruges and Seven Psychopatchs. Also movies of that is this like a joke variety. This guy.

This one is all about a mother, Frances McDormand, who puts up these three confrontational signs in her yard, maybe, calling out the local sheriff, played by Woody Harrelson (who is dying of cancer) for sort of not doing enough in her mind to catch her daughter's rapist/murderer who set her on fire. Also features Sam Rockwell who is a dick bag police who ends up being on good terms with everyone in the ends (but is still a dick bag). Mixed in with a bunch of dark as shit humor. Just having fun with it, I guess.

Rotten Tomato Consensus: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri deftly balances black comedy against searing drama -- and draws unforgettable performances from its veteran cast along the way.

Pros: Impressive ensemble cast. I'd watch a McDormand, Harrelson, and Rockwell. It was a good story (despite not being very taut) based on an interesting premise. Despite being way over the top, it felt pretty real.

Cons: All over the place. How they fit all this in one movie is crazy pants. Redeemed Rockwell's character too much for my taste. Sort of gives vigilante justice a pass.

This weirdo

The cast carries this McDormand does the McDormand thing that she does in all those Coen bros movies she is in. A brooding, stern, character of few words, and sort of funny performance. Like Fargo or The Man Who Wasn't There. Same shit if you like that. Woody and Rockwell too play characters that were probably written with them in mind and great. Rockwell's mom, who is also Mac's mom in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and Grandma in Napoleon Dynamite, is the only person in the world that you would want if your movie calls for a hideous chain-smoking bumpkin of an aging single mother. She has that shit locked down. The dude that played Red though, one Caleb Landry Jones, who was that creepy brother in Get Out and that creepy brother in The Last Exorcism and was the creepy boyfriend in Twin Peaks, that dude was probably the breakout star here. You also get some Dinklage action as well as John Hawkes and Clarke Peters character actor goodness.

Again, the movie was pretty good but there was some shit. Not trying to give too much of it away here but you don't really empathize with McDormand's character in the end because of shit she does. Rockwell's Dixon is a fucking piece except towards the end when he does one thing that is okay. Then he is a piece again, kind of/sort of. And the end is irritatingly vague in that dumb you have to draw your own conclusions way which in this case was unnecessary. But, yeah, if you want to see some top-notch (perhaps over) acting, then this is a movie to check out. Especially keep an eye on Woody who is like his generation's most underrated thespian. Plus he is super cool. Gotta love a pothead vegan.