Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom - Steven Spielberg - 1984

★★★★-Not my favorite of the series, and problematic, but still fun as shit. Heard a lot of it's too mean-spirit commentary, which I get but sort of disagree with. Also, I love Short Round, played by Oscar-winner Ke Huy Quan from The Goonies and Everything Everywhere All At Once. 

First scene is insane but amazing. I feel that it doesn't get better than that. Something I noticed this time, in the middle of it, Dr. Jones punches a woman in the face for no reason. 

He also javelins a guy with a flaming duck on a skewer. Ends with Dan Akroyd leading them onto a plane owned by the guy that tried to kill them in the club. Which brings me to something that irritates me. Indiana was getting nothing out of the deal and was leaving the country. Why try to kill him at that point? You are wasting a perfectly functioning plane in the 1930s. I don't imagine that's cheap, but whatever. 

This is the first time I’ve watched this since learning a little bit about Hinduism. It’s basically Shiva worshipers versus Kali worshipers. In college, I took this religious studies class that everyone called “the death class.” It was called something like “Meanings in Finality.” Anyway, we watched a short documentary about a member of a certain type of Kali worshiper. He was considered the lowest of all casts. Untouchable to the untouchables, as they say. This guy lived off dead bodies dumped in the River Ganga, a practice with religious significance for Hindus. He scavenged, burned bodies, painted himself white with the ash, made bowls out of skulls, dining utensils out of leg bones, so forth. It was really fascinating. I think about that every time I watch this movie. Speaking of getting Hindus wrong, the dinner scene is insane. Hindus eating live animals and monkeys goes against their whole belief structure. Not the most accurate portrayal, is all I'm saying. There are voodoo dolls in this movie, for shit's sake. 

Friend of mine pointed out that the actor who played the evil Indian prime minister is the same guy who played Indian Prime Minister Nehru in Gandhi. I commented that Gandhi too was known for punching women in the face as he abused his wife. My friend then said he was probably pretty hangry. 

Anyway, that Kate Capshaw is a looker. Her and Doctor Jones sexual banter is pretty great and totally juvenile. They basically say “I’m in authority in mating customs, love rituals, primitive sexual practices with years of fieldwork.” Her character is widely panned for being shrill and irritating. Both Spielberg and Lucas were both going through breakups at the time and weren't the biggest fans of women in general, which shows. 

Some stuff I noticed over the years. Indiana has a very uncool run that kills me every time I see it at a critical part of the movie. I called it his “old man run.” 

Turns out he was in terrible back pain. Also, the giant guard that he gets it on with is played by the same actor that he gets it on with in the first movie. The big German that gets chopped up in the propeller of the plane. 

Everything Everywhere All at Once is the greatest movie of all time

Everything Everywhere All at Once. Insane. I loved this crazy adventure flick. In fact, it was one of the funnest movies I’ve seen in a long time. Can’t get enough of an absurdist action-dramedy. Hilarious, great fight sequences, completely original. Kung fu. What more do you fucking want?

Movie is about a Chinese-American woman being audited by the Internal Revenue Service. Her home life is also going to shit. Whilst meeting with the IRS, she discovers that she must connect with parallel universe versions of herself and prevent an all-powerful being from causing the destruction of the multiverse. Obviously shares a lot of DNA with The Matrix and Rick and Morty. Homages to various kung fu flicks throughout. Stuff like Master of the Flying Guillotine. Except instead of the flying guillotine, they use a dog and fanny pack. However, it is definitely its own thing. Boy is it ever. No explanation does this movie justice. It has everything. Googly eyes. A version of Earth with no life. A version where people evolved to have hotdog fingers. It is a true experience that includes a black everything with literally everything.

An A24 film (this production company is fucking bringing it) directed by Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert (collectively known as "Daniels"). They also made the highly original Swiss Army Man, another great one. Stars Michelle Yeoh, an incredible talent who you’ll know from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, Memoirs of a Geisha, Reign of Assassins, and as the character Ying Nan in the Marvel Cinematic Universe film Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings.

Ke Huy Quan. My man was Short Round in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and Data in The Goonies. Some iconic shit right there. Also Jamie Lee Curtis, Stephanie Hsu (she was also in Legend of the Ten Rings and has a recurring role in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel), and James Hong (Blade Runner, Big Trouble in Little China, a very memorable role in Seinfeld). Jenny Slate (whom I really like) shows up throughout the flick as well.

The Daniels are the MVPs here. Creating something this special. My god. Yeoh is incredible as well. Internet research says that the lead role was originally written for Jackie Chan. I love Police Story and a lot of his work, sure, but thank fuck he’s not in the movie. His whole support of the Chinese government is kind of a dealbreaker for me. Ke Huy Quan. Holy shit. What a fucking return to the screen. He was phenomenal. Everything I’ve seen him in is a goddamned classic. This movie was perfect.