31 Days of Halloween: Jordan Peele Recommends: Dead Again, Kenneth Branagh’s Neo-Noir Reincarnation Thriller

Dead Again - Kenneth Branagh - 1991

 

★★★-Dead Again. Day 5 of the Nightmare on Film Street  31 Days of Halloween Horror Challenge. Jordan Peele night. I chose to watch one of his recommended movies since I’ve seen his trio multiple times. It was alright but forgettable. 

A neo-noir romantic thriller directed by Kenneth Branagh. Definitely feels like one of his movies. He plays Los Angeles private detective Mike Church, who is investigating the identity of a mute amnesiac woman (played by real life wife at the time Emma Thompson) plagued by nightmares. They delve into her past through hypnosis, uncovering a connection to a 1949 murder case involving composer Roman Strauss, who is also played by Branagh. Strauss, who is Jewish, fled Nazi Germany with the help of his maid and her creepy son, was convicted and executed for the murder of his wife, Margaret, played by Thompson. Get a little screen time from Robin Williams, but this is a Branagh/Thompson vehicle.

The story intertwines past and present, revealing secrets and reincarnation themes as Mike and the woman, now called Grace, discover their own links to the tragic couple. It’s entertaining, and the performances are fine. But not a classic by any means. 

The real Trap is turning M. Night's daughter into a pop star

Trap – M. Night Shyamalan – 2024 

★★★-Not the trainwreck I’d been led to believe. It’s not Old or The Happening bad. But it’s not Unbreakable either. It’s just a forgettable meh that went on too long. 

 

Gist is a father and his daughter attend a pop concert, only to discover it’s a trap set by law enforcement to capture the father, who is a notorious serial killer. Hell of a setup. 

 

Like every M. Night movie, the trailer makes it look amazing. But then it’s not.

 

I feel like of course M. Night has a pair of nepo babies, but his daughter, Saleka, is serviceable, and her voice is amazing. 

 

Big problem is that the film is way too long. Thought it was wrapping up when they leave the concert, but then there is something like 45 more minutes. Also, requires a lot of awkward exposition. Josh Hartnett was fine. He is inexplicably shirtless for a good stretch of the flick. 

Crimes of Passion - Ken Russell - 1984

★★★★-A slapsticky erotic thriller. This movie is insane, even by my standards. It's pretty much a farce. Reminded me of Jim Jarmusch doing soft-core pornography. I didn't hate it, but it's crazy that I watched this on the Criterion Channel.

Gist is one Joanna Crane (played by Kathleen Turner) is a successful fashion designer by day and a prostitute that goes by China Blue by night. China Blue is one extremely imaginative prostitute, basically catering to every guy's fantasy. Engages in simulated rape, dresses up as the Statue of Liberty, violently pegs a cop (who spits on her after sex), so forth. She even gets hired by a woman whose husband is dying, and she wants him to get laid before he dies. It's really sad. His wife doesn't want to go near him because of his sickness. Guy does look pretty close to death. Turns out the actor lived another 30 years, dying at 93. 

Directed by one Ken Russell. Never seen any of his movies. Apparently they are out there. 

Anthony Perkins is a real creep with escalating violence. He's a perv preacher. “I'm here for your benefit!” he screams at her before telling her about watching people die and serenading her with “Get Happy.” 

Never seen the main beefcake guy before, one John Laughlin. Anthony Perkins kicks his ass at one point. Big muscles, but little functional strength, I guess. This guy is not great, though his performance has moments of hilarity. Does the thing with a prostitute that happens in movies where the guy says, “that was real, I know you felt it too.” Yeah, sure bud. Like every dude she sleeps with in her various costumes says the same shit. She is very good at her job, you see. I would think this is more high-class call-girl stuff, but her world is pretty grimy. He tells her, “I wish I could tell my wife about the way you make me feel.” I wouldn't recommend it. Then he says that she would say “it's all just part of my imagination.” Turner says that it was, and sends him off on his way, back home to Annie Potts. 

This guy is really something. Puts a hot dog through the pee-hole of his shorts. Does a “magic act” that consists of him tying basketballs to his ankles, popping his shirt off, and being a "human penis." Highly recommend checking this scene. Cheats on his wife and comes home and treats her like shit. Blames her for their sexual problems. This piece of shit I'm sure really turns on the ladies. Fucking child. “I'll grow up when I'm ready,” he says. Again, huge turn on. Pretty quickly, wouldn't you know it, he's single again, ladies!

Favorite line in the movie is: “She's not a slut. She went to Ohio State!” “Every two years they let a slut into Ohio State. Her timing was just good.” Completely insane ending with an even more insane last line that I shan't give away.

It gets pretty graphic at times. So heads up. Though the film is crazy and seems pretty weird for everyone involved, Turner and Perkins both spoke well of the director and the experience. Perkins even got ordained and married the director and his girlfriend at the wrap party. I definitely recommend it, for the whole family even. 

The Shining Girls - 2023

I loved this mind-fuck of a show. A complex, time traveling murder mystery. My kind of shit. 

Elizabeth Moss stars. She is incredible in everything. Too bad she's a Scientologist.

Overall gist is a woman played Moss is attacked. We meet her years later and see her literal constantly changing reality as she investigates a series of murders spanning decades that might be related to her own attack. She eventually convinces a veteran reporter played by Wagner Moura (Pablo Escobar in Narcos) and they try to stop this time-hopping serial killer. 

The killer, played by Jamie Bell (he was Bernie Taupin in Rocketman and Billy Elliot in Billy Elliot), is pretty terrifying as he can afford to be patient and has the ability to go back in time and correct his mistakes. Dude caused a lot of pain and suffering for a lot of peoples. You really want him to get put in this place. He looks exactly like this friend of mine, one Ronnie Vance. Good looking guy, but this show now makes me trust him less. I've got my eye on him in case he ever finds a magical house that lets him jump about the century to do unspeakable shit. 

I really fell in love with this at the end of episode four, “Attribution.” Previously, Moss's character experiences all this sudden shifts in her world. Her apartment changes, her hair, her job, she all the sudden has a husband, so forth. At the end of this installment, when her and the killer meet and get it on, as in fight for their lives, the place around them constantly changes. Moss get slammed into a wall that completely changes, then it becomes a mirror and they smash through it, then it becomes a bar that is a major piece to the puzzle. It's awesome and just gets better from there. 

Highly recommend this if you are into dark murder mysteries that way out of the ordinary. Definitely not like anything I've ever seen before. 

Influencer - Kurtis David Harder - 2023

★★★★★-You see, this movie is why I don't become a influencer. Incredible movie. The best new horror movie I've seen in 2023. Wow. Available on Shudder, by the by. 

Going to give as little away as possible. But explaining any of the plot is a minor spoiler. 

The flick is centered around social media influencer Madison, played by Emily Tennant of Riverdale. As you often hear about these Instagram people, despite her popularity, she feels lonely and dissatisfied with her life and occupation, which took her on a trip to Thailand. Irritated about how her boyfriend (played by one Rory J. Saper, whom I've never seen) canceled going along, he seems to make Instagramers, she meets a mysterious woman named CW (Cassandra Naud, don't recognize her either), who has a distinctive birthmark on her face and is radically antisocial media. Taking CW up on her offer to explore the most Instagram-worthy spots, she goes about adventuring with her new friend: getting a feel for the local culture, engaging in deep conversations, so forth. However, shit goes off the rails when CW leads Madison to a surprise location—an uninhabited island completely disconnected from the world.

Movie opens with a girl washed up on a beach. The title card is the point we see how she got there. 

One of those “the real movie starts a half hour in” flicks. You can tell because that's when you get the title sequence just as the shocking twist hits home. Somewhat cliché at this point, me thought. I've seen like five movies do this in the last couple of years, but that's the only thing that's cliche. 

I can't believe this doesn't have 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The bad reviews say it was predictable, which is insane. Also shallow. Whatever.

The movie is legit terrifying. The bad is a sociopath that I've never seen before. This person is a predator that kills in a pretty inventive way. Also, like that deep fakes are being used in horror now. Check it out.

Designed to Kill is the worst movie of all time

Designed to Kill. "The camera loves you!" No, it doesn't. Directed by one Doug Campbell back in 2018, this is truly one of the worst movies I've ever seen.  

Has three different names, which is a great sign: Designed to Kill, Deadly Runway, and Fatal Fashion. Going to a live show for "How Did This Get Made?" on Tuesday. This is the movie they are discussing. It is, indeed, trash.

Gist is a crazy woman who works as a fashion photographer and later a high school teacher, turns a nerdy high school student into a supermodel. He is no looker, this guy, but he slays it on the runway in this flick. Eventually, her obsession with him drives her to homicidal madness which goes from crazy to unbelievable when they start fucking. This chick is mentally unwell. 

Not a single actor I recognize. The crazy chick is extremely attractive though. There is no way I would have finished this if I wasn't going to see HDTGM. I don't know, shitting on a Lifetime movie of this quality is pretty low-hang fruit. 

Secret Obsession is the worst movie of all time

Secret Obsession. "What happened? How did I get here?" "You were in an accident, and you hit your head. You don't remember me, do you?" Awful all the way around. Basically a Lifetime quality movie. Feel that it mostly consisted of the main actress unconvincingly limping around. It's rotten as fuck. 

Rotten Tomato Consensus: While it may offer some thrills and unintentional laughs, Secret Obsession is mostly a formulaic and dumb thriller.

Released in 2019 on Netflix, the gist of the movie is a woman suffers a head injury when she is hit by a car. She can't remember shit, but her creepy husband is there to help her put the pieces back together. But she has this suspicious that she is still in danger. There are a couple of parts that made me LOL, but I assure you they are unintentional--again with the limping around and once when an actress is running away from a dude, and has basically gotten away but falls down the stairs out of nowhere.

Directed by one Peter Sullivan, a guy who indeed specializes in Lifetime and Hallmark movies with mostly Christmas flicks to his name. It stars Brenda Song, whom I've never seen, in the lead role. Mike Vogel who you might recognize from Cloverfield plays her husband. A woman named Ashley Scott who looks hella familiar plays the nurse helping the amnisiac recover. Her biggest credits include the show Jericho, a sex robot in A.I. Artificial Intelligence (one of the worst Steven Spielberg movies), Into the Blue, and some show I've never heard of called Birds of Prey. The only person I really recognized is Dennis Haysbert. He is the black guy that played President David Palmer on 24 and Pedro Cerrano in Major League. However, you probably most know him as the "you're in good hands with Allstate" guy. He goes about investigating the accident in an uninteresting way, motivated by his dead daughter somehow? 

This is a film that asks, can two injured people take on one able-bodied man? Also, how many scrambled eggs can a woman eat in one sitting? This came recommended from someone with dubious taste. I feel this is the most basic movie I've ever seen. Easy, generic plot that a high school kid could have come up with. Acting is mostly screaming and limping around or looking like an asshole. Did not like. 

The Clovehitch Killer is the greatest movie of all time

The Clovehitch Killer. "The first murder happened before I was born. The killer called himself Clovehitch, after his favorite type of knot. Our town lived in fear. And then, ten years ago, he stopped."

Rotten Tomato Consensus: The Clovehitch Killer patiently dials up the tension with a story that makes up for a lack of surprises with strong performances and a chilling wit.

Gist of the movie is an Eagle Scout type kid named Tyler finds disturbing images depicting extreme bondage hidden in his father's shed, and he begins to suspect may be responsible for a series of unsolved, serial murders in their rural Kentucky town. Share a lot of DNA with BTK, that piece of shit. 

Film stars Dylan McDermott as the killer dad (who was great), Charlie Plummer as Tyler (whom I've never seen but was stellar, Samantha Mathis as the mom who has a face that I can't place, and Madisen Beaty as a victim's daughter who helps Tyler in his investigation who I immediately recognized as the one with the hair from Once Upon a Time... In Hollywood. MVP is a tough call. McDermott is great but is basically playing hero ball. The two kiddos were both phenomenal and more subdued. Ultimately, giving it to Plummer who has to carry a lot of the emotional weight of the film. 

I thought the movie was fine until the third act when it really stepped it up a couple of notches. Would have been a pretty forgettable disturbing movie otherwise. Type of low-budget flick that you think of as quintessential independent. One big (ish) named star. Solid upstarts. I liked it. 

The Girl in the Spider's Web: A New Dragon Tattoo Story is the worst movie of all time

The Girl in the Spider's Web: A New Dragon Tattoo Story. Jesus. Like the off brand for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Loved that movie. Was expecting David Fincher or something in that vein. But this movie doesn't have the same vibe even. Make that clear from the get-go with the shitty intro music instead of that hot Trent Reznor/Karen O "Immigrant Song" from the original movie. Also, replace all the actor with far less talented sort of look-a-likes. Like instead of 2011 it girl Rooney Mara, 007 Daniel Craig, and the classic beauty and icon Robin Wright we get Claire Foy, Sverrir Gudnason, and Vicky Krieps, respectively none of whom I'd ever heard of. Plus the movie was based on the first book in the series not written by Stieg Larsson. Despite that Larsson, at the time of his death, had a fourth book in the series most of the way complete and outlines for several more, this work by David Lagercrantz does not use the Larsson book as its source and completely does its own thing. Yeah, read the book, you can tell. Last that I'll be reading in the series unless Larsson's longtime partner, Eva Gabrielsson, finishes the series that Larsson had mapped out. Anywho, little surprise, after some shitty internet research, that this is indeed the worst movie of all time. This movie fucking sucks.

Rotten Tomato Consensus: The Girl in the Spider's Web focuses on the action elements of its source material for a less complex -- and only sporadically effective -- franchise reboot.

Pros: Occasionally (unintentionally) hilarious. Love that LaKeith Stanfield guy.

Cons: Pretty boring. Impossible not to compare it unfavorably to the Swedish and David Fincher movies that came before it. Not crazy about the cast. Lot of magical internet bullshit that is ridiculous (hacking into an airport's security system by planting a cell phone in the vicinity of its router [which I might add is all run through the crappiest consumer-grade home wifi version]). Must have forgotten to change the router password and username from admin admin. Also, some very fortuitous shit happens that Lisbeth seems to psychically just know will happen. Also, why the fuck is Stephen Merchant like a serious actor all of a sudden. He was solid in Logan but it's a hard pass after this one but wish he'd focus his time on the shit that put him on the map like Meet Ricky Gervais, The Office, and Garth Marenghi's Darkplace, which is a true gift to the world.

Sooo... Gist... Once again, hacker woman Lisbeth Salander and Mikael Blomkvist are in the middle of some shit. This time Lisbeth has stolen a missile control program from the US's National Security Agency that gives whoever has said program the power to launch any nuke in the world. Turns out the key to unlock it is the program creator's son (the programmer guy is played by Steven Merchant by the by) who has some horribly explained number magic that makes little to no sense since they dropped the whole autism angle that was in the book. Various spies and government people and Lisbeth's sisterand her gang are trying to steal it from her and shit whilst pinning the murder of Steven Merchant on Lisbeth. Directed by some guy named Fede Álvarez, it is supposed to be a direct sequel/soft-reboot of Fincher's film. Starring in the film are never seen her Foy as Lisbeth, never heard of him Gudnason as Blomkvist, Stanfield from Sorry to Bother You as some NSA agent come to get his program back, and Sylvia Hoeks (no idea) as Lisbeth's sister Camilla. This film is fucking trash.

Fucking lame

Oh boy is there some shit with this movie. There was little to enjoy about this flick. Lisbeth was the tough but vulnerable feminist antihero in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. In The Girl in the Spider's Web she is a fucking superhero. Also, lots of not only right place, right time, it's like Lisbeth is psychic when it comes to this. Example...In the ridiculous airport prison break, Lisbeth leaves a suitcase in the middle of a crowd. Security grabs it. When they open it it is full of dildos and a cell phone. That cell phone gets her access to all the computers on the network and access to the cells in the airport holding. Stanfield's character gets broken out as a result of this and she has a person get on the PA and tell him go to such and such a gate via a popup message. When he gets there, in a trashcan waiting for him are a cell phone and what I thought was another dildo. It turns out this is a conk device that he uses on a security guard after he gets out that appears out of nowhere pointing a gun at Lisbeth. No fucking way would she know this guy was going to be there. Finally, the white paint on Lisbeth's face when she punishes some over-the-top evil wife/hooker beater at the beginning of the movie looks fucking stupid. Fuck this shit.

Nothing stood out as far as best line goes. Best scene and best kill are one and the same and was basically the only part of the movie I legit enjoyed. This was towards the end, spoilers, when the male douche villain guy gets stabbed with this neurotoxin that he had scientists whip up that causes permanent blindness. He was going to use it on Blomkvist but shit went down and Steven Merchant's kid stabs him in the ankle with it. What happens from here is all fucking hilarious. First he falls out of a window, breaking his leg compound style when he hits the ground 40 feet below. From there he gets up and feels his way to a nearby forest. Meanwhile, Lizbeth's sister is making her escape with her driver heading down the road. Something miraculous basically has to happen for her to not get away. Enter this idiot stumbling around on the road, blindly feeling his way around. The driver, of course, doesn't see him and nails him which causes the car to spin out of control and hit a tree so that the bad guys don't get to make it away scot-free. This was obviously ridiculous. I couldn't stop laughing. Luckily there were only three other people in the theater, all of whom where likely equally hating this, most of whom where also laughing. Not good.

MVP is Stanfield whose talent was so beyond this movie it was fucking unbelievable. He does cool/nerdy well here like he did in Sorry to Bother You. He wasn't really given much to work with but does his best, adding little flourishes like a "pow" and finger guns when he knows he is on camera. He adds a bit of comic relief to what is supposed to be a serious movie. These things he does well. That was all it really took for an MVP on this piece of garbage. The sooner I forget this, the better.

Intruder is the greatest film of all time

Great fucking movie, Intruder.  Watched it for Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi (pictured above with the meat hook in his noodle) as they get top billing on the front cover of the DVD. Come to find that Campbell is in the movie for maybe one minute and Raimi, for his part, gets a bit more screen time but dies early. On the back Renée Estevez (maybe because of her lineage?) is portrayed as the heroine but is actually the first character to die. Spoiler. That I don't care about at all, I guess. Though the studio thought this was necessary, to mislead us, the movie is still fantastic and is totally the greatest movie of all time.

Elizabeth Cox... Total babe

The movie features a grocery store's overnight stock crew that are stalked and killed by a mysterious psychopath.The kills are phenomenal and are numerous. Directed by Scott Spiegel who co-wrote The Evil Dead, the movie features Sam (director of the Evil Dead movies, Spiderman, Drag Me to Hell, so forth) and Ted Raimi, Estevez sibling Renee, Tarantino producer Lawrence Bender, and Campbell who is in the movie for all of 35 seconds. The movie actually stars Elizabeth Cox, who is a total babe, as survivor girl Jennifer Ross and Dan Hicks as Bill Roberts who has worked his way up from butcher to co-owner.

Pros: Good use of setting (grocery store). Suspenseful and claustrophobic. Surprisingly descent kills/gore. Low budget but charming.

Cons: Not exactly the most original movie I've ever seen. Takes a bit to get going.

Gist of Intruder is that the grocery store is closing its doors for good while the overnight crew works their last shifts. As they do, they are picked off one by one inside of the small market with items found in the store.

Cox's #MeToo. This guy should definitely be in jail

The movie opens to the world's longest intro. Just a full moon with credits over it. After five minutes of that we get some extended setting of the scene that we will be spending the next hour and a half or so: we see a crazed, mumbly old man, carts everywhere, slacker young people working their first jobs (for the most part), and a crazed ex-boyfriend that comes in and loses his mind, punching his ex (that should win her over), slamming Sam Raimi, and fighting all five dudes in the movie on his way out the store. Aldi's it's not. Not long after this idiot, who it is revealed just got out of jail for murder, comes back and tries to score with his ex. They are closing so they just let him go which is insane.

Oh yeah indeed

It's about here that they get the news that they are all out of a job. "Hear me out," says the owner and then fires everyone. The other owner is upset. Worked his way up from butcher to owner. He'll be alright though, I'm sure he'd work his way back up to owner from toilet scrubber or whatever at another grocery store. Following this scene is when the killing starts, oh ye.

Nine deaths total that include solid gore and gags. Some good ones include a kill with a meat saw, a hydraulic press, and a meat hook to the jugular. All of those kills were dope. The gags include eyeballs in with the olives, a hand in the lobster tank, a head in the cheese case, so forth. The killer also uses the owner's head as a puppet, which was darkly humorous.

Spoiler

In the end, once the killer has been revealed and it isn't the red herring ex-boyfriend, we have the one survivor babe who is forced to rely on her #MeToo to save her (which, yeah, fucked up). They actually team up on the killer, the chick stabs him with a knife that she pulled from Estevez and the dude cleaves the killer while he is attacking the survivor girl in a phone booth just outside the store. But this dude is unkillable, apparently, and when the cops roll up, one of those cops is indeed Bruce Campbell, the killer is all "they did it!" and the cops believe him even though there is no evidence. And that is the end of the movie! But I am sure that once the detectives get there they will piece together what really happened. That happens, right?

30 sweet seconds of Bruce Campbell action

Oh, and last thing, notice in the credits that the post-production sound was done by Jay's Meat and Provision Company. I wouldn't trust any sound company that had "Meat" in their title. But that's just me though.

The Watcher is the worst movie of all time

The Watcher features James Spader as an unemployed FBI agent who is taunted by a serial killer played by Keanu Reeves (love the guy but he was terrible). Also in the movie are Marisa Tomei, a very pretty lady, and Ernie Hudson both of whom are underutilized. Spader and Keanu share that ye olde they define-each-other-to-give-meaning-to-their-lives situation. Spader claims not to see it that way though.

I remember when this came out when I was in high school. I wanted to see it then for some reason. I finally got around to it after 17 years. Twas not worth the wait.

Rotten Tomatoes Consensus: The Watcher has Keanu Reeves cast against type, but the movie is short on thrills, suspense, and believability.

Pros: Unintentionally funny at times. Spader is alright.

Cons: Unoriginal. Plot was shite. One dimensional characters. Sort of boring. Too much Keanu vamping.

Disclaimer: My notes pretty much always contain some spoilers but I rarely give away the ending.

Notes: Longest fucking intro of all time. Like three minutes of credits and then five minutes of helecopters flying around and Keanu dancing (horribly) to Rob Zombie. Also way too much of this shitty looking blurry, strobe effect.

Spader's got some weird shit going on. Has some sort of freakout and needs morphine. This goes fucking no where. Early here we see him like totally lose his shit because his head pain. He flips out so fucking bad. At this point you think, "huh, so this is something he deals with that will factor into the plot in some way." That reasoned line of thought would be incorrect. He has a a much less painful migraine at the end of the movie which Keanu tools on him about that is completely unrelated to anything going on in the plot.

Is he a cop? Acts like it but the cops see him and don't treat him as such. FBI or something. Ah, he is retired (?) due to his dark past or something. He is getting mailed pictures of this girl that was murdered in his building. Calls the cop that was breaking his balls. This fucking guy. Answers the phone while on a high speed chase. When the guy in the car runs the cop puts JS on hold, chases the guy down, tackles him, then picks up the phone again and talks to JS while kicking this idiot on the ground. Scene is ridiculous.

A lot of product placement for Kodak. Watch a lot of this serial killer's unedited footage. So much product placement. Seattle's Best. Dodge.

Spader is such an idiot. Tells Tomei, his therapist, that he can't remember to go to the grocery store and when he does, then he forgets to bring them home. What the fuck? Later, he has to find this girl that Keanu sent him a photo of who he is going to kill that night. Tracks her down to this mall. Has this huge group of cops he is briefing about the search. Meanwhile she is standing right behind him in a glass elevator. For someone who is supposed to have a superpower esque sense of observation, he really fucked up on this one. She then goes home to her cat and is murdered. It was fucking stupid. Also, his place is such a shithole. You rarely see places this disorganized and messy in movies or on TV. Actually looks lived in mess. And then we see he has a twin bed. Like college dorm room style.

This movie feels so fucking long. Keanu stalks and kills (or attempts to kill) four women over the course of the movie. Each time they show up just after the kill and he outruns/evades helicopters, police cars, Spader, a like 300 beat cops. One such occasion ends after Keanu had basically already gotten away only to crash his car for no reason into an abandoned gas station. Gas sprays everywhere and when the cops show up, he set it on fire, burning the idiot cops who show up in their cruisers. In the movie's defense, it was quite the rampage. Overall though... The movie was not great. It dragged on and stakes always felt low. Plus it ended with really shitty circa 2000 CGI.