Justice League is the worst film of all time

So the Justice League is bad but also is really bad. But not as bad as I was expecting. Out of the 2.75 DC Universe films I've seen, I basically couldn't finish Batman vs. Superman and haven't seen Man of Steel or Wonder Woman yet, I'd put this as the most enjoyable. Again, though, pretty bad. Justice League, in fact, was the worst film of all time. I know I just said it was better than two other movies but we are binary in this bitch.

When it comes to the comics I'm into, I much more of a DC than Marvel guy. However, with the movies, there are no DC over Marvel people, though the Christopher Nolan Batman Trilogy was god tier. Saying such a thing would give one limited credibility. Based on all the shit that DC is putting out, I'd be surprised if we get much farther in that world before it all falls apart. That said, let's get into it.

Rotten Tomato Consensus: Justice League leaps over a number of DC movies, but its single bound isn't enough to shed the murky aesthetic, thin characters, and chaotic action that continue to dog the franchise.

Ger

Pros: Music--both Danny Elfman's original (which included some dope samples of previous Batman and Superman themes) and the soundtrack. That Gal Gadot is really something. That Superman guy, Henry Cavill, is pretty good too.

Cons: The CGI is shockingly bad. I fucking can't get past it. Steppenwolf, the villain, looks especially horrendous. He is also a loser. The plot is confusing and is all over the place. The Flash running looks stupid. The Flash is basically Spiderman. The jokes that they sandwiched in for the reshoots are fucking terrible and need to stop.

The basic gist here is Aquaman (Jason Momoa who was Kahl Drogo in GoT), Batman (Ben Affleck), Cyborg whom I hate (Ray Fisher who I've never seen in anything else), Flash (Ezra Miller, a Justin Long/Chris Kattan hybrid), and Wonder Woman (Gadot who is really something) come together to fight off this stupid looking CGI dude wearing a horned helmet named Steppenwolf who is all about enslaving Earth with the use of the three Mother Boxes, don't ask, and his flying, insectile goons called Parademons that feed on fear and also look stupid. All this is sort of vaguely follows Justice League #1 for the The New 52, especially when it comes to these Parademons. To defeat Steppenwolf, however, they require what-have-yous of Superman who is at present living impaired. So they must resurrect the uber man like the Christlike figure that he is to kick ass and take names. 

Steppenwolf, basking in his lameness

Things go wrong right off the... ugh... bat. The movie starts with a little phone video of Superman. Obviously one of the reshoots as his lip looks weird. Because actor Henry Cavill had in his contract for another film--Mission Impossible 6 (which I'm sure will be... great)--that he couldn't shave his stache, they had to CGI it out. This is not a good first impression. Nor does the CGI get any better as, again, Steppenwolf is just looks fucking god awful. Steppenwolf is also super fucking bland and boring. His motivation is crazy fucking vague, too.

The most cringe worthy acting comes from Fisher, Miller, and Momoa though it is hard to say if it is actually the performance or the shit they have to say. While I still can't get behind Affleck as Batman, I guess he does alright. Superman is cool and dark and has insane pecs. Gadot is an attractive lady who moves like a bad ass and is quite compelling. Jeremy Irons is okay. Everyone else is just there.

The best parts of the movie were when they wake up Superman and he loses his shit on everyone, basically any time Wonder Woman is on screen doing her thing, the scene where Aquaman (a total bro in this flick) confesses a bunch of uncomfortable stuff for a bro because he is holding Wonder Woman's lasso (which was the funniest scene in the movie), and the end, post-credit scene when Lex Luther (played by Jesse Eisenberg) meets with Deathstroke, saying that they should "form (their) own league." Best scene in the movie shouldn't be hyping another movie, obviously... but it sort of got me interested/excited about what might be on the horizon for the DC Extended Universe.