Top 10 of 2025: 8. Freaky Tales

★★★★--This technically came out in 2024, but you couldn’t see it anywhere until 2025. So I’m including here.
 
God, I’m a sucker for whacky, blood soaked anthology movies. Throw in the summer of any random year from my childhood. And set it in the Bay area. And toss out some obscure 1980s NBA. Goddamn. 
 
This wild, nostalgic ride blends punk, hip-hop, crime, the supernatural, and basketball into a four-part anthology that’s is pure chaotic energy. Solid, fun ensemble cast led by Pedro Pascal (who absolutely kills it), Ben Mendelsohn, Jay Ellis (the best part of the movie), Normani, Dominique Thorne, Jack Champion, Tom Hanks (who is amazing), Too Short, that Angus Cloud kid that died a couple years ago that I keep seeing in movie, and Marshawn Lynch. It is a crazy good time and ends on the highest of notes. 

31 Days of Halloween: V/H/S/Beyond: Lovecraftian Night Falls Flat

V/H/S Beyond - 2024

Directors: Jordan Downey ("Stork"), Kevin Stewart ("Stork"), Christian Long ("Fur Babies"), Justin Long ("Fur Babies"), Justin Martinez ("Live and Let Dive"), Virat Pal ("Dream Girl"), Kate Siegel ("Stowaway"), Jay Cheel ("Abduction/Adduction")

 

★★-Day 15 of Nightmare on Film Street 31 Days of Halloween Horror Challenge.  V/H/S/Beyond. Lovecraftian night. 
 
The latest of the V/H/S anthology series. Made up of six shorts that explore mostly extraterrestrial themes in a found footage style. In one police battle zombies in an abandoned mansion. Another follows a Bollywood popstar doing a dance number that turns into chaos. And so forth. 

Usually have fun with these V/H/S flicks, especially 94, 99, and 85. I usually go to New York in October. Saw those three at the Brooklyn Horror Film Festival. Might have elevated them a little in my mind. Hell, I briefly talked to the Shudder curator, Samuel Zimmerman, on my way out of the theatre following 99, which was hella cool.

Didn't have fun with this one. It was pretty lame, IMO. Framing device (a documentary) veered too far away from all the other films in the franchise. Focus on aliens instead of ghosts and monsters/killers. 
 
There is a very disturbing one where a pair of siblings turn people into dogs called “Fur Babies.” Justin Long and his brother Christian direct the segment, which is a whole lot like Kevin Smith's Tusk, a film that Justin starred in. They claim that it isn’t directly inspired by the film, but the (overrated) body horror cult film was on their minds. I actually liked this better than Tusk, but it wasn’t anything I ever want to see again. 

Mike Flanagan did the writing for the forgettable “Stowaway” about a woman who is abducted by aliens. His wife, the lovely Kate Siegel, did the directing. Flanagan has mostly bangers with Absentia, Oculus, Hush, Ouija: Origin of Evil, Gerald's Game, and Doctor Sleep, probably my favorite horror film of the 2010s. Also, five killer miniseries on Netflix. My favorite of those was The Midnight Club, which was unfortunately canceled after 10 wonderful episodes. Siegel appears in a lot of his stuff and has been nothing but great in everything I’ve seen her in, notably The Haunting of Hill House and The Fall of the House of Usher.
 
Favorite of the pieces was "Live and Let Dive" where a guy goes skydiving with his wife and friends for his birthday. Before they take the plunge, they are attacked by aliens. All hell then breaks loose. It was only alright. 

Again, not really a fan, overall. The segments didn’t hit home for me like ones from previous iterations. Plus, the framing doc format sucked. And it bummed me out I didn't go to NYC. I'm sure I would've liked it more under those circumstances. Next year… I’m sure there will be more of them down the road. 

31 Days of Halloween: Horror Anthology: Tales from the Hood, an Urban Horror Classic

Tales from the Hood - Rusty Cundieff - 1995

★★★★★-Day 1 of the Nightmare on Film Street  31 Days of Halloween Horror Challenge. It has become an October ritual for me (and by extension my partner). Starting things off with an anthology, one I have seen many times in Tales from the Hood.
 
Directed by Rusty Cundieff, he also did Fear of the Black Hat and Sprung, it stars Corbin Bernsen, Rosalind Cash, Rusty Cundieff, David Alan Grier, Anthony Griffith, Wings Hauser, Paula Jai Parker, Joe Torry, and Clarence Williams III.
 
A bunch of urban-themed horror stories that tackle issues like police corruption, domestic abuse, racism, and gang violence, all set within a framing narrative of three drug dealers meeting an eccentric funeral director to purchase "found" drugs while he shares eerie tales. Packaged in a slick narrative with solid filmmaking and acting. Doesn’t get much better than that.  
 
First time I saw this was in an all-black theater in 1995. It totally killed. Especially everything with the segment "KKK Comeuppance." Everyone laughed like crazy at everything the racist Southern senator who was a member of the Ku Klux Klan running for governor. He is setting up his campaign headquarters at an old plantation once owned by a slave-holding ancestor that is supposedly haunted by dolls possessed by the souls of the tortured slaves that used to live there. The hilarity had to do with his colorful racist language. It’s nice when he gets his comeuppance. 
 
I totally thought this movie was amazing then and can confirm it holds up now. This is a near annual watch for me. All of the segments knock it out of the park, and the framing story is phenomenal. 

XX - Roxanne Benjamin, Sofìa Carrillo, Karyn Kusama, St. Vincent, Jovanka Vuckovic - 2017

★★★★- Watched this for Witchy Women night for the Nightmare on Film Street challenge movie. I guess this one qualifies. 

Anthology flick with segments all directed by women. As with most anthologies, some are better than others. Overall, it is solid though.

First one is about a family that stops eating after the sun peaks into a strangers mysterious gift box. The second one, which stars Melanie Lynskey, who I adore, is throwing her daughter a birthday party when she discovers her husband has committed suicide and decides to hide him. Great segment. What a fucking nightmare. This one was my favorite. Surprisingly a lot of humor in it. 

Third one, titled “Don’t Fall,” finds foursome climb a cliff where they find a cave painting of demons. One gets possessed and that is that. Fourth one is about a woman who sign is about to turn 18 and appears to be a psychopath. Rips her kids fingernails off at school (which the school seems to wanna give him an award for or something), abuses the dog, killed a squirrel, so forth. A real piece of shit. She is terrified of him. Let’s just say that Rosemarys baby is required viewing to really appreciate this last segment. It's fantastic. I’d watch the feature length of this flick. The end is pretty stupid though. 

Connective segment is some creepy Tool-esque stop motion shit. Sort of like Mad God. Just a bunch of art house stuff.

V/H/S 99 - Flying Lotus, Maggie Levin, Tyler MacIntyre, Johannes Roberts, Joseph Winter, Vanessa Winter - 2022

★★ - Little behind here posting my watches. Counted this for the new release for the Nightmare on Film Street Halloween challenge. 

Got to see the new anthology flick V/H/S 99 a little early at the Brooklyn Horror Film Festival last week. Some of the segments were better than others, but the last one, “To Hell and Back” was great. Overall, not great. 

Shudder put the film fest on and I got to see some of those like-minded horror teevee machine people milling about. Even saw Shudder curator Sam Zimmerman, who I know is not someone most people are going to geek out over but he impresses me.

Ghost Stories - Jeremy Dyson and Andy Nyman - 2017

★★★ - From anthology night for the Nightmare on Film Street movie challenge.

Through most of it I thought it was great. One of the most consistent anthology movies I’ve seen, me thought. The first one was all right, the second one was low-key and dope because of the actor, and the third one is just a holy shit kind of tale. Connecting story is even more what the fuck. Seems pretty normal at first but just goes to fucking what the fuck, shit your pants territory.

The end, though, is so cliché that it fucking ruins the movie. I’m tempted to spoil it it was so fucking stupid. Some throwback you can’t do this anymore without pissing off your audience shit. If this was an ending to a story you wrote in high school you would fail.

Star is this guy Andy Nyman. Looks familiar and he should because I've seen him in roughly 30 things. However, I don't really remember him from any of them.

Martin Freeman is the big draw. He never disappoints. This Alex Lawther kid steals the show though. Might recognise him as the lead in The End of the F***ing World or an especially disturbing Blackmirror. I confuse him with the kid from Sex Education, Asa Butterfield. They are, in fact, not the same person though.

Body Bags was the okayest movie of all time

Ah, body bags. You see, if it's murder, suicide or a nasty accident, they put them in here. Checked off a lot of boxes for me. Anthology comedy horror with two "masters" of horror directing. A rip off of Tales from the Crypt with lots of fun cameos. Stacey Keach, Debbie Harry, and Sam Raimi. I figured this would be dope. But in the end, not really my cup of tea. 

Three segments. John Carpenter hosts and introduces each story. He is this morgue employee, it seems, who is into some weird shit. Sort of tells us about how some of the people there die and are brought in in body bags. These are their stories. 

The first segment was the slowest and most traditional/run of the mill of the three. Slasher stalks a gas station attendant. Cool setting and lots of great bit parts, but it doesn't hold up at all when it comes to logic. The plot holes in this one are too distracting, and I'm not one to care about that generally. But you ask yourself a couple of questions and it comes undone as shit. Robert Carradine, bro of David, plays the killer. Get cameos from David Naughton from American Werewolf in London, and directors Wes Craven and Sam Raimi.

Second segment is easily my favorite. Stars Stacey Keach, the obvious MVP of the movie, as a dude going bald who is fucking obsessed. He has a pretty girlfriend who is supportive, but dude just won't let it go. Fucking paints his head and shit like that. It's fucking gross. But everywhere he looks he sees dudes with like 80s rockstar hair, or some dog with a golden mane, and dude loses his shit. So he goes to this Hair Club for Men type place and gets some hair treatment whilst nurse Deddie Harry is all over him, telling him how sexy he'll look with long flowing locks. He's fucking stoked when he pulls off the bandages and has hair down to his ass. It's crazy ridiculous and obviously looks like shit. But he gets what he wanted, but, you know, this is a horror anthology, so that shit comes at a price. 

Third segment is sort of the same as the second. Dude loses a part of himself, his eye, is obsessed with getting it back. Does an experimental surgery. Gets what he lost back. Is ironically tortured by the eye. It's the old, got an eye from a dude that got executed, now I see his crimes and will start killing myself bit. If you're a Simpsons fan, it's the same plot as "Hell Toupée" from "Treehouse of Horror IX" where Homer gets Spike's hair after he got the chair and then Homer starts having urges to kill and what not. The guy that gets the eye, by the by, is Mark Hamill. He is basically out there playing hero ball during his whole segment. 

Directors are listed as Carpenter and Tobe Hooper. Carpenter did "The Gas Station" and "Hair" while Hooper did "Eye". Not what either are going to be remembered for, for sure. But definitely not either of their worsts. Plus, I think Carpenter is a genius and generally love his work. That said...

There were moments that I had fun, and the casting was amazing. But overall I thought it was sort of meh. I thought the bookend segments with John Carpenter as a morgue attendee ghoul were especially disappointing. Too much a really bad rip off of Tales from the Crypt without the humor. I mean, they tried, but the jokes were shitty and sad. 

Nightmare Cinema is the greatest movie of all time

Your imagination isn't always your friend. Good old fashioned anthology horror. I thought all of the segments were really good and went out of their way to keep you guessing. Especially like the first one, directed by Alejandro Brugués, where everyone is on the run from a masked killer, except this one has a really great twist. 

Rotten Tomato Consensus: Admirably eclectic yet more consistent than most horror anthologies, Nightmare Cinema should entertain viewers in the mood for a good old-fashioned creepshow.

Gist is that five strangers show up individually to an old movie theater owned by The Projectionist, played by Mickey Rourke, good so far. Once they take their seat, viewer witnesses what seems to be their deaths on the silver screen. Every single one of the segments is super solid. Not a dud among them.

People you'll recognize include Rourke, Richard Chamberlain (sort of a that guy), Patrick Wilson from Watchmen and The Conjuring and Hard Candy, and Elizabeth Reaser from The Twilight Saga and The Haunting of Hill House on Netflix. Directors include Brugués who did Juan of the Dead (totally gonna be watching that soon), Joe Dante (The Howling, Gremlins, The 'Burbs), Mick Garris who did the bananas movie Sleepwalkers, Ryūhei Kitamura (The Midnight Meat Train), and David Slade (Hard Candy, 30 Days of Night, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse). So Dante, some real up-and-comers and Garris. 

Rourke is pretty solid in this, as he is in everything. However, I'm giving Brugués the MVP. His segment is just too good. 

Trick 'r Treat (2007) is the greatest movie of all time

Trick 'r Treat. Catching up on a couple Halloween movies I didn't have the heart to write last week with being depressed about my dog's passing and all. Heart hasn't been in it, I guess you could say. So here is this, later than it should be. Night of the Demons 2 coming soon. So, yeah, Trick 'r Treat. Watch it every Halloween with a pumpkin beer in hand. This is sort of my It's a Wonderful Life. Winner of a bunch of niche genre awards, this beats out Creepshow and Tales from the Hood as the best anthology of all time, at least IMO. Is held in decently high esteem by critics, who generally aren't kind to horror, boasting an 83% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes when it was harder to get such things and has something of a cult status among genre enthusiasts. It's sort of a travesty that it didn't get a theatrical release which has been the stuff of mystery since its straight to DVD release in October of 2009. I bought this right when it came out without knowing anything about it and was completely blown away. You don't see a lot of new movies with big names which include an Academy Award winner, Anna Paquin, attached to them as well as such a well regarded producer/director in Bryan Singer (he's probably most known as the director of the good X-Men movies [in which Paquin played Rogue]) that get relegated to the bargain bin right off the bat. As such I've always been pretty curious about the film's history and why it took so long to come out and never actually hit theaters. Best I've heard is that it was supposed to come out October 2007 but distributer Warner Bros. pulled it with no explanation, sitting on it until it finally got the old we-don't-give-a-fuck-about-this-movie treatment. Speculation has that they didn't want to compete against the fucking garbage Saw IV and that this was sort of backlash from disappointing box office numbers from Superman Returns, a movie Singer produced (his production company Bad Hat Harry [a reference to Jaws] produced Trick 'r Treat), directed, and wrote with this film's director, Michael Dougherty, from the previous year. But here it is with a premier in my living room. This shit is a gem, though I'm not sure it would have actually made all that much money.  Regardless. Greatest movie of all time.

Rotten Tomato Consensus: A deftly crafted tribute to Halloween legends, Trick 'r' Treat hits all the genre marks with gusto and old fashioned suspense.

Pros: Probably the best Pulp Fiction type segmented movie that isn't Pulp Fiction. Each segment is about the perfect length. Even the weakest of them is solid and pays off later. Cast is a solid A with an  honest to god Oscar winner who is also a pretty lady. Has something for every type of horror aficionado. Looks great. Has great atmosphere. You can't watch this and not be stoked for Halloween. No shit, this is my go-to movie of the season.

Cons: Movie is basically perfect although the serial killer principal story is sort of weak.

Pretty lady

Gist here is pretty straight forward. Spoilers below if you want to watch it. (I recommend reading this and watching it anyway).  We have five interwoven Halloween tales, so of told in a Pulp Fiction type style--a couple where the dude is a holiday fanatic and the wife not so much who is punished by this little pumpkin creature for taking down the decorations too early (which sort of serves as the intro for the movie and is by far the shortest skit), a werewolf (Paquin) making her first kill (they play it like she is a virgin who has decided to give into her friends' peer pressure and have her first fling), a serial killer school principal (who ends up being a werewolf entree later in the flick) who is raising his son in an unconventional manner, a group of kids who play a prank on a semi-autistic girl and are punished by the murdered zombies who were too once outcasts when they were students, and an old bastard who steals kids' candy (and we find out was paid to kill the outcasts who come back as zombies from the earlier skit) who has to fend off this miniature, pumpkin-headed monster/demon intruder--all taking place in a medium sized Ohio city known for it's holiday celebration. Present in all of these stories is this little pumpkin headed demon thing, which is pretty cute and looks sort of like my little doggy Lu, that enforces Halloween traditions. Those who break these made up norms suffer his wrath.

Staring in the film are Dylan Baker (he was the pedo in that movie Happiness that don't recommend anyone watch) as the serial killer, Leslie Bibb who was Ricky Bobby's wife in Talladega Nights, Brian Cox as the old man, some kids and other randos from Dead Like Me, Paquin as the werewoof, Thurman Murman as this kid who gets killed, and mostly unknowns. There has been talk for at least five years about a sequel but that shit ain't never gonna happen.

Best line of the movie was "Charlie Brown is an asshole." As a crazy Peanuts fanatic, I feel you kid. Snoopy is my guy. As a writerly sort, I identify as that little pup.

So cute

The best of the segments, IMO, is the one featuring the kids who go out collecting jack-o-lanterns for this ritual involving the dead special needs kids. They have to collect one for every kid that died and this will summon them or something. It all ends up being this mean spirited prank on this girl that the kids call "Rhonda the Retard" who seems to have a mild case of Asperger's where the others dress up like zombie kids and come after her after she descends to the bottom of the quarry via this lift thing. When they do this she goes nuts and falls and hits her head, crying somewhat hysterically. As she makes her way over to the lift, the zombie kids really do come to life. She then gets on the lift, locks the door, and goes up as her tormentors are ripped apart just below. Don't fuck with this chick (or any chick or kid for that matter).

Favorite kill and MVP both involve Brian Cox, the original Hannibal Lecter, among other things. We are sort of introduced to this character early on during the principal bit with Dylan Baker (who is also dope). He sort of creeps up on the principal as he is trying to shut up Thurman Murman whom he is burying in his back yard. We also, at one point, see him, Cox, yelling for help from his window and getting attacked. He obviously has some shit going on. Once we get to his bit, spoilers here by the by, we see this little demon kid, Sam whom is in all the skits, killing folk who break the Halloween rules and what not, who sets his sights on Cox for stealing kids candy. The way he does it is a pretty good gag, really, sort of subverting who gets the trick. He outfits his little doggy with a costume where all the kids see are these glowing eyes that make it look like a monster. So Sam comes to take his treat, basically. First he dongs and dashes him a couple of times, the last time planting a shit ton of jack-o-lanterns on his porch. Then, when he goes back in the house, Sam makes a bunch of noise and shit so that Cox knows someone is in there with him. At that point the dog runs up stairs, where the noise is coming from, we hear a yelp from the dog and then once Cox goes upstairs, "trick 'r treat" and various other incarnations of that are scrawled in blood on the walls. So it is implied that he kills the dog, which you know, hated it, but maybe not. I choose to think not. Anyway, the little Sam monster and Cox tussle for a while before finally Cox shoots it in the head with a shotgun. Instead of brain and shit blowing out the back of his cute little pumpkin monster head, we get pumpkin goo which is fucking cool. It doesn't actually kill Sam, we see as he comes back and attacks Cox before Cox finally gives him a piece of candy, saving his life. This reprieve, however, is short lived as we find out that Cox was the bus driver in the dead kids section. So when Cox goes and answers the door for the last time of the night, he is visited by the children that he murdered so many years before, ready to get their revenge. Fucking sick.

All of that is to say that Cox really sells the shit out of a scared old man with a life-long mean streak in him, not to mention justifiable paranoia. For this performance, he gets the MVP. Love that guy. And that was one of two of my Halloween movies this year. This one, of course, is an every year watch, much to my female companion's irritation. The other one, Night of the Demons 2, I'll get to soon.

Late Night Double Feature is the worst movie of all time

This is definitely one of those movies I will completely forget about in a year or so. Canadian horror anthology. It's not great. I respect the low budget flicks like this for just getting a bunch of amateur actors together and putting shit on screen. I love that shit and love people who do this. Salt of the earth, these people. More than I've ever done. Great for them... But by movie standards, this was only sort of watchable.

The basic gist: while taping Dr. Nasty's Cavalcade of Horror, a late night television program that does little skits between a pair of featured films, made up for this anthology, things on the set descend into what the fuck over the course of early morning. Pissed about Dr. Nasty's (the host) appalling behavior and her prick boyfriend, the director, the nurse sidekick loses her mind and gets all murdery.

Pros: It's pretty good about telling a story that sort of starts and sort of ends. Interesting concept. Nurse nasty is all right. Canadian anthology.

Cons: Shitty acting. Shitty stories. Characters are incredibly milk-toast. Has that soap opera look. Dr. Nasty is so disgusting. Canadian anthology.

Disclaimer: My notes pretty much always contain some spoilers but I rarely give away the ending.

Notes: Always thought it would be a dope job to be one of these late night horror hosts. The people who made this must agree. Dr. Nasty's: The credit scene is great. Over the top computer graphics. All downhill from here. Dr. and Nurse Nasty. Local horror host. Show looks terrible. The crew agrees. Next week on this show trailer. A clown movie. Night Clown. Meh clown.

First movie: Dinner for Monsters

Chef is hired to cook a dinner for six. Goes to person's house. At the door he has a moment with the maid who is like “it's a shame you are here for dinner,” he is like, “huh.” The rich couple greet him. The guy is joking with him. Says something like, “you might say it would save your life right now if you were to turn around right now and leave!” He also goes on a rant about how animals should not be used for consumption. I totes agree. Is this what I sound like? Well, this is where our rants veer. Yeah, they want him to cook a human. Takes very little convincing. Sort of threaten him. He starts his work. Sort of freaks out. This is how I feel about meat in general. First course is a Greek salad. Ha. Killer mortgage rates commercial. Make him eat some. He flips and starts killing everyone. Only ones left are the main couple. Now in the basement where the “live stock,” humans, are grazing. They are basically zombies. Throws the host dude in. Have a really good kill here. The humans rip the guy apart with their bare hands and eat him. Shite. Now chef dude is serving human at his restaurant. Uh, okay. Keep throwing around “humano carne” as the type of meat. Always thought it was “long-pig.”

Back to this Dr. Nasty shit. He is getting blown by some intern wearing the nurse wig. The real nurse is like, “fucking gross,” and the old man is like, “know your place, bitch.” Then they do a stupid skit and play the next movie.

Second Feature: Slit

Guy who gets paid to cut cutters on their back. There is a slasher/killer guy out there, apparently. Guy getting cut asks the cutter, “you didn't do it, did you?” Claims no. Goes and sees a new chick client. She lives in a real shit hole. Asks him how he gets his job. Demand he says. She is disgusting. Addict maybe. Has all kinds of cutting scars. He cuts her. She tries to jump his bones. He is pissed about this. Starts to leave. She stabs him. Chases him around. She is no athlete. Corners him. Cuts and rips her face off. It is bananas. He runs away but dropped his client list with his address in it.

At home, dude orders a pizza like a total maniac. Calls, says he needs a pizza at such and such address. They ask what he wants on it. He says, “I don't give a shit! I just want it here now!” Seem like about the worst way to order food I've ever seen. If you do this the person making the pizza will probably get pretty creative with the toppings if you know what I mean. Then the pizza guy shows up. Dude is passed out. Leaves a ball jar of change out front to pay. Psycho girl tapes him up. Doesn't wake up until the end. She lectures him with a bunch of nonsense about getting fucked over by guys like him then she murders him by stabbing him in the dick. Now she is moving on to killing his clients, it would appear, as he shows up at the first guy's house.

Back to Dr. Nasty's set. He is being gross, as usual. Nurse is still cuffed from previous skit. He starts whipping her like an insane person making her bleed a shitload. She is like, “you are totally fired.” The manager guy doing her is like, “yeah, he has a really good contract, so...” Nurse quits. Her BF talks her down. Says they are going to fire him. The nerdy guy with glasses who is obviously in love with her is with her icing the whip wounds. Talks about how he loves her butterfly tat. She is like, “um, ok, I'm going to go.” Tells her they are going to start shooting on Monday for this movie they are making. Intern comes in gloating about getting the lead. Nurse goes pretty reasonable but her BF/manager just turns into a complete dick for no reason and fires/breaks up with her. Is insanely cruel about it which is sort of out of nowhere. She grabs a knife to kill him. Sneaks up on him, his back to her. Yep, he already dead. So is the intern with dude's severed wang in her mouth. Turns out everyone is massacred by nerdy guy who is torturing Dr. Nasty. He did it so she could get her own show. He also has a matching butterfly tat. She is fucking stoked about it. Scene. So a shit movie ends.