Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade - Steven Spielberg - 1989

★★★★-Same beats as the original dialed up and with Sean Connery. Love it, but maybe not as much as I did as a child. However, it's the funnest of all the Indiana Jones movies. Never regret revisiting this movie. 

Third installment of the original Indiana Jones trilogy. You know the gist. Set in 1938, the film follows Indiana's quest to rescue his kidnapped father, who's a scholar of the Holy Grail that's being held hostage by the Nazis who are also searching for the Grail. 

Directed by the Steven Spielberg. Written by Jeffrey Boam. Stars Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones and Sean Connery as Indiana's father. Also stars Alison Doody, Denholm Elliott, Julian Glover, River Phoenix, and John Rhys-Davies. 

Ford and Connery are both incredible. Them together is electric. Remember Doody being the hottest woman ever. She’s no Karen Allen. I guess hanging out with Leni Riefenstahl and the Fuhrer isn’t all that much of a turn on. Phoenix as Young Indiana wasn’t as great as I remembered. Opening conveniently explains Indiana’s chin scar, nickname, affinity for whips, fear of snakes, his hat and his catchphrase, “it should be in a museum."

Exposition isn’t quite as good as Raiders, but still solid. That's sort of how I feel about the whole flick. Really good, but not the classic that the first film is. 

I think the best part, which might be a little bit of an unpopular opinion, is the humor. First, Brody is hilarious. “I hate to interrupt you!” While Indiana flirts with Dr. Schneider. Love that he’s a vegetarian. Him stumbling around asking if anyone speaks English or ancient Greek. He is obviously not up to the challenge. Funny how he runs into Sallah. I’ve had stuff like that happen to me, running into the one person I knew that city of 7 million people. Catch him immediately. 

Connery, also hilarious. Some great one-liners. "It was rather wonderful," "so did I," "would you say this has been a typical day for you." So forth.

The whole bit in Austria was ridiculous. Indiana pretending to be a Scottish lord unconvincingly just keeps getting funnier. 

So... I was a student of medieval literature. Have to think it has something to do with this movie. Which brings me to a nitpick. The knight guarding the Grail should be speaking middle English or whatever. Yes, that would be weird, but come on. Plus, this guy has to be pretty disappointed. He is guarding the Grail for 700 years. Guy comes to relieve him. He looks like shit. He tells them to choose the Grail among the many cups in the room wisely, then that Nazi guy lets this woman choose for him. She chooses the closest one to her. Not a good call. He dies. Indiana gets the right one, of course, but he tells them specifically not to cross the seal. They immediately cross the seal. Place falls apart and he watches them as they leave him to die after the Grail is swallowed up by the earth. Thanks for coming! It's been real. 

Among the trio of Indiana Jones films, The Last Crusade is potentially my sentimental favorite, mostly because it is just so damn fun. It stands as an exceptionally well-crafted and irresistibly entertaining popcorn movie, brought to life by arguably the most dependable director of such films in American cinema history while at the peak of filmmaking abilities. You get your money's worth in terms of action, delight, and humor. I feel like an ingrate for shitting on it at all. Some may label it as shameless manipulation, but I still view it as a thrilling and captivating display of pure cinematic joy.

Marnie - Alfred Hitchcock - 1964

★★★ - I’ve always been led to believe this was a great movie. It was not a great movie. Hardly any of it makes sense. Doesn’t really feel like a Hitchcock movie. Lotta melodrama.

I felt like Tippi Hedren mostly phoned it in. Sean Connery was pretty good. The actress that plays Tippi’s mother is maybe the worst performance in all of Hitchcock. Her accent is literally incredible.

The gist is Tippi’s character be scammin’. Connery, his character seems to be into that sexually or something. Never really figured out what his motivation was, honestly.

Like when Connery catches her, he has her tell him her story. She tells a tale about her mom being dead and desperate for cash. Let’s her go on forever and then tells her how he knows that was all bullshit. Then he decides to take care of her. Alright.

Ought to be sending her to jail. She ripped off a bunch of friends of his and stuff. When he marries her, those friends are at the wedding. She’s like, “welp, I’m going to jail.” But instead, Connery says that they want after he tells them what he has to say. No idea what the hell he’s gonna say to smooth that shit over.

Something I’ve noticed after 25 or so flicks. Men in Hitchcock movies are always forcing brandy on women in the morning.

Also, Hitchcock did love the violence-leading-into-sex move. When Connery inevitably gets rapey, the Bernard Herman score is at its most frantic and horrible. The whole time you ask, why is he doing this.

What an insane living situation this is. Sean Connery and his fake wife, his dad, and his widowed sister-in-law that is in love with him all under the same roof. Tippy has a nightmare, her normal, reoccurring one where she’s screaming. “Don’t hurt my mama.” The sister-in-law comes and shakes the shit out of her while Sean Connery is just looking at her. The sister-in-law leaves their room and sees the book Sean Connery is reading, “Sexual Aberrations of the Criminal Female.” If any of this is happening to me, I am reassessing as life has become way too complicated.

Everybody is sort of familiar with it with many claiming it as one of Hitchcock’s greats. But when you get into this run of films, things get pretty weird in his universe. Definitely question his genius at this level.

Overall, to me, it felt like someone imitating Hitchcock. Same with the Bernard Herrmann score. The whole movie just felt kind of off.