Stargate: A foray into 90s CGI

★★★★--Scanners meets Micky 17 with teleportation. When I saw this in the theater in 1994 as a child, I thought that we had reached the pinnacle of special effects. The CGI sucks. I was an idiot! Pretty good movie though. And like nothing I'd seen at the time. To quote the Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons, “Of the four star franchises, 'Wars,' 'Trek,' 'Gate,' and 'Search,' 'Gate' is easily my third favorite." 

Kurt Russell and James Spader are both solid and fun. Jaye Davidson from The Crying Game, if ya know, ya know, plays the alien dude. Directed by Roland Emmerich, the so-called "master of disaster" for being the go-to the-world-is-literally-falling-apart-guy. He's maybe  the biggest directors that isn't a household name. His films include Universal Soldier, Independence Day, the maligned Godzilla (1998), 2012, White House Down, Independence Day: Resurgence, and Moonfall, among others. According to Wikipedia he is the 17th-highest grossing Hollywood director of all time, which is nuts. 

Top 10 of 2025: Tie—10. Mickey 17

★★★★--Some serious Pattinson-on-Pattinson action. The first third is amazing. The second third is solid. The last third, especially in the last 20 minutes, is lame. However, overall, it was fun and silly and my kind of shit. 
 
Bong Joon-ho (of Parasite fame) doing a sci-fi satire. Definitely one for me. Saw complaints about the tone, but I personally loved that part of it. Sort of silly, yeah, while dealing with real issues of life and death in a fucked up time. I found it consistent and good for what the film is. The Running Man it was not. 
 
Stars Robert Pattinson, Naomi Ackie, Steven Yeun, Toni Collette, and Mark Ruffalo. Pattinson is the clear star, though. He does an amazing job of playing the “Expendable” (Mickey Barnes) in another sort of twin movie. He is part of a group that goes to a distant ice planet with the job of dying repeatedly. Once expired, he is reprinted with his memories intact. Uses this setup to rail against capitalism, authoritarianism, and humanity’s hubris. Lot of absurdist gallows humor. Also doesn’t skrimp on the feels. And what a time to release a movie about how those in power see people and resources as disposable.

Interstellar - Christopher Nolan - 2014

★★★★★-More Nolan. Hard rain today so I'm knocking out three of his flicks. Feels a little weird watching this one right after submarine disaster. But at least these adventurers have a noble goal in mind. This is an intensely captivating, stunning, thought-provoking film. I'll fight anyone who says otherwise. 

Gist of the film. It's 2067. Future: dystopian. Humanity is going extinct from a global famine caused by ecocide. Like we are starting to face now, really. 

A team of astronauts embark on a space mission to find a habitable planet for humanity as Earth faces an impending implosion. They traverse through a wormhole near Saturn to jump across the universe where they encounter mind-bending phenomena and race against time to ensure the survival of humanity. Thats the short of it. It also explores themes of love, time dilation, and the exploration of the unknown. 

Something I've thought long and hard about is this: How does one navigate a wormhole? I'd think you just get what you get. Best case scenario. You go in. It doesn't kill you or drive you mad. You get crapped out wherever you get crapped out in the universe. That seems to be the way it works in this flick. 

Anyway, dude loves his daughter. Barely remembers he has a son pretty much, but the son is sort of an asshole. Doesn't really listen to her or care about his opinion though. Goes on an obvious suicide mission, ignoring all the red flags and what not. So, I use the laughing/crying gif a lot for my sad laugh. But this movie is a gut punch. 

Stars Matthew McConaughey, Anne Hathaway (my queen), Bill Irwin, Ellen Burstyn (the mom from The Exorcist), Matt Damon, and Michael Caine. This was the first thing I ever saw Jessica Chastain and Timothée Chalamet in.

At the start of the movie, for a minute, at least, it sounds like the government is actually figuring shit out in this future. But “freedom” and what not. Lot of books are banned. Moon landing was faked. Food is scarce because of the “wastefulness” and greed of the people in the 20th century. 

“This world is a treasure and it has been telling us to leave for a while now. Mankind was born here, it wasn't meant to die here,” McConaughey's character says. I agree with the first part, biology has determined the second part was a lie. 

Anyway, lot of sacrifice. Go to a planet where every hour is seven years. End up spending 23 Earth years. It's Nolan, so you gotta expect a little bit of time fuckery. Grandpa's dead. Kids have grown up. Poor guy left on the ship also experienced the time jump. Poor fucker. Requires a lot of faith for the people left behind. Plan A is to turn it around on Earth. Plan B is to go elsewhere. Decades go by and they are waiting to see if we have a place to go. How we get there is a good question, but you know. 

Speaking of, we aren't leaving this planet. We might get to Mars, but no where livable. Have about as much chance of that as time travel. Shit ain't happening. Once we finally fuck this planet up enough, that's it. Doubt it happens in my lifetime, but we're already seeing the beginning of the end.

Great wrist watch flick. Features the Hamilton Khaki Pilot Day Date and the Khaki Field (Murph). Both are great watches. Hamilton might not be as great as it was 50 years ago (mostly uses the ETA 2824 if you know anything about watches and is now Swiss owned), it is still a solid brand. My next watch will probably be a Hamilton. Maybe one of these. 

For me, this is a better, more accessible version of 2001: A Space Odyssey, which I hated. Ambitious, exceptionally beautiful, insanely complex, this is fucking cinema at its best. How people go to this and don''t fall in love, I have no idea. This film moved me. Nolan, again, is a master filmmaker. 

Alien - Ridley Scott - 1979

★★★★★-One of the all-time great cats in this flick. I love that kitty boy, Jonsey. Save the fucking cat indeed.

Everyone knows and loves this flick. Sigourney Weaver taking on Xenomorphs in her tiny underpants and a tank top. Rock on. 

Ridley Scott's second film. Released in 1979. Written by Dan O'Bannon. Follows the space crew of the Nostromo, just a bunch of working stiff space folk who bring an alien onto the ship to everyone's detriment. The alien was designed by the artist H. R. Giger who is famous for this type of shit. That thing is cool as hell. The film won a bunch of awards but got mixed reviews at the time. Critics really fucked up on this one. 

Super cast with Tom Skerritt, Sigourney Weaver, Veronica Cartwright (the little girl from The Birds), my surrogate grandfather Harry Dean Stanton, John Hurt, Ian Holm (Bilbo Baggens), and Yaphet Kotto. What a crop!

However, there are several plot holes that are distracting. Of course, there is the facehugger getting through the helmet of a space suit and the acid blood. But one really irritates me. 

My beef is this, how the aliens go from being squirrel-sized to Yao Ming is ridiculous. Of the six movies, none allow for any kind of reasonable window for the aliens to grow to full size. One molting cycle, no food, and a half hour, and they are enormous. They really do grow up so fast! No, if you’re going to gain 100 kilos, you’re going to have to eat like a lot of stuff, and you’ve got to molt and shed and shit somewhere. It's fucking physics or biology or whatever, I'm not a scientist. 

Still, the greatest sci-fi/horror movie of all time. A slasher in space, scary as fuck. When it gets Dallas, coming out of nowhere, always scares the shit out of me. How low-energy it seems in the escape pod makes it somehow scarier/realer. When it comes face to face from the girl from The Birds, it basically scares her to death. Hence, the incredible tagline, “In space, no one can hear you scream.”