Saturday, April 8, 2017

Freaks of Nature is the greatest movie of all time

Freaks of Nature is set in Dillford, OH, “Home of the Riblet,” where tensions run high between the residents and the vampires and zombies that live among them (it was originally titled Kitchen Sink). Yeah, that's right, people living with the supernatural. Those things are already a part of this universe when the movie begins. Everyone had more or less figured out a way to coexist, though that is on pretty shaky ground, until the aliens show up and the town descends into an all out free-for-all with each group out for themselves. The movie basically follows a small group of high school kids—a human, a vampire, and a zombie (sort of like The Breakfast Club)—who try to bring the town back together in an effort to defeat the invaders.

Another of the direct to video, premier is my living room type movies. Though the movie got more or less exclusively bad reviews, both my female companion and I loved it (though my taste may be a bit skewed with all the garbage I watch) but it's not in the god tier of movies by any means.

Pros: Cast. Main kids are all unknowns. Supporting though is star studded. The notables: Joan Cusack, Werner Herzog, Keegan-Michael Key, Denis Leary, Bob Odenkirk, Patton Oswalt, and Mae Whitman (Anne aka Egg in Arrested Development). Pretty damn funny. In the end, the town becomes "Home of the Veggie Riblet" which I totally support. 

Cons: Continuity errors. I'm not one to notice them ever and there I was distracted by several (which says a lot). The worst was one where Leary went back and forth between jump cuts from drinking whiskey to holding a gun to drinking whiskey to holding a gun. Aliens look like shit.

Disclaimer: My notes pretty much always contain some spoilers but I rarely give away the ending.

Accidentally discarded my notes for this one so this is all from memory and will not be my best work... Save often, my friends.

Notes: Does the Fight Club thing at the start. The old “here is where we are. Oh, wait, let me back up and show you how we got here. Now that that is out of the way, here is the last 45 minutes of the movie.” That is the one thing that I sort of didn't like about FC. Have fucking hated it in basically every movie since, which includes this one. Also, this one isn't done particularly well. It felt all over the place and confusing in the early goings.

He's "Eight Miles High"
But it was always pretty humorous (except for when the towns goes insane in the middle). Probably my favorite scene came when Odenkirk and Cusak, the main dude's parents, find what they think is his stash of weed. They keep dropping hints to him that they are into smoking pot too saying stuff like, “we want you to know that we totally understand.” “In fact,” they say, “we understand daily... Like just before we came in here we understood.” Sprinkled in here is talk about a big, big change that the men in that family experience when they come of age. It's huge. Really big... It turns out they are not talking about his dick. Also, Odenkirk looks exactly like David Crosby. Leary, meanwhile, looks like a goat-man.

I'm an asshole
So there is the main kid who we find out at the end of the movie is a werewolf (that is the “huge” change his folks were talking about), the pretty girl who was turned into a vampire, and the one smart kid who is now a zombie. It is up to them to stop the aliens which of course they do do in the end in part because of the zombie's problem solving abilities. Couple of interesting things with the zombies. First, I like that the zombie kid is still smarter than everyone else. How can this be? Well, the zombies become more human like as they go longer without eating brains which is sort of cool. What is really cool though is what happens when the kid eats brains for the first time. Basically he chins to chest and melts into the chair like he is doing smack for the first time. That was a pretty nice little concept that doesn't get a lot of exploration (not that it really needs it).

As previously stated, everything to do with the aliens looks like shit. A lot of cheap CGI. The aliens themselves look stupid. The main alien at the end starts out looking ok in miniature form then looks like shit then is a really shitty rubber suit which is sort of a joke (I guess). Then the Independence Day explosion at the end looks awful.

Something of note: Werner Herzog voices the head alien (aka the Perfect Being) who shows up at the end and hates on everyone. This is what he does now, apparently. Voices condescending aliens. I would watch him do just about anything though which has included eating his own shoe. Nice little absurd film.  

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