Mother Mary: Anne Hathaway vs. the Nope Alien

★★★—A movie that asks, after an hour of nonsense, what if Taylor Swift was possessed by the Nope alien, except red.   

Solid but confusing as shit. About a popstar of the Gaga/Swift persuasion who is losing her humanity, so she goes back to the last person she was able to relate to as a normal person, her old dressmaker, whom she has had a falling out with. This is all if you are looking at it as metaphor. I don’t see the world like that, I’m way too literal, but I try to look for it. This one, I really struggled with. So this red ghost/demon/alien/ribbon is the popstar chick’s humanity? But it is possessing her? And that is a bad thing? What is happening? 

It’s also like the 5th popstar horror movie I’ve seen in the last couple years. Not sure it knows what it wants to be. A few minutes in I start thinking it’s not horror. Then we get some Suspiria Markos Dance Academy shit. Maybe it is horror. Then it veers toward queer relationship movie, but pulls back. And then goes back to horror again, I think.    

Whole movie henges on three actors—Anne Hathaway, Michaela Coel, and Hunter Schafer. Coel was in one of the Black Panther movies, a Star Wars flick, and some Black Mirror. Schafer is the young lady from Cuckoo. Hathaway needs no introduction. She always bringing it. Plus, she has looked 30 for the last 25 years. Hasn’t noticeably aged at all since the Dark Knight Rises. They pull it off.    

Overall, some things to like. Music is surprisingly solid. Great performances. Feels like a play. Highly stylized. Exceptionally beautiful…. Not a single line uttered by a man, which is interesting. But nothing happens. One hell of a swing. But it goes foul. Trying too hard. Plot was not my cup of tea. Got bored more than once. Took a long time to get going. 

Interstellar - Christopher Nolan - 2014

★★★★★-More Nolan. Hard rain today so I'm knocking out three of his flicks. Feels a little weird watching this one right after submarine disaster. But at least these adventurers have a noble goal in mind. This is an intensely captivating, stunning, thought-provoking film. I'll fight anyone who says otherwise. 

Gist of the film. It's 2067. Future: dystopian. Humanity is going extinct from a global famine caused by ecocide. Like we are starting to face now, really. 

A team of astronauts embark on a space mission to find a habitable planet for humanity as Earth faces an impending implosion. They traverse through a wormhole near Saturn to jump across the universe where they encounter mind-bending phenomena and race against time to ensure the survival of humanity. Thats the short of it. It also explores themes of love, time dilation, and the exploration of the unknown. 

Something I've thought long and hard about is this: How does one navigate a wormhole? I'd think you just get what you get. Best case scenario. You go in. It doesn't kill you or drive you mad. You get crapped out wherever you get crapped out in the universe. That seems to be the way it works in this flick. 

Anyway, dude loves his daughter. Barely remembers he has a son pretty much, but the son is sort of an asshole. Doesn't really listen to her or care about his opinion though. Goes on an obvious suicide mission, ignoring all the red flags and what not. So, I use the laughing/crying gif a lot for my sad laugh. But this movie is a gut punch. 

Stars Matthew McConaughey, Anne Hathaway (my queen), Bill Irwin, Ellen Burstyn (the mom from The Exorcist), Matt Damon, and Michael Caine. This was the first thing I ever saw Jessica Chastain and Timothée Chalamet in.

At the start of the movie, for a minute, at least, it sounds like the government is actually figuring shit out in this future. But “freedom” and what not. Lot of books are banned. Moon landing was faked. Food is scarce because of the “wastefulness” and greed of the people in the 20th century. 

“This world is a treasure and it has been telling us to leave for a while now. Mankind was born here, it wasn't meant to die here,” McConaughey's character says. I agree with the first part, biology has determined the second part was a lie. 

Anyway, lot of sacrifice. Go to a planet where every hour is seven years. End up spending 23 Earth years. It's Nolan, so you gotta expect a little bit of time fuckery. Grandpa's dead. Kids have grown up. Poor guy left on the ship also experienced the time jump. Poor fucker. Requires a lot of faith for the people left behind. Plan A is to turn it around on Earth. Plan B is to go elsewhere. Decades go by and they are waiting to see if we have a place to go. How we get there is a good question, but you know. 

Speaking of, we aren't leaving this planet. We might get to Mars, but no where livable. Have about as much chance of that as time travel. Shit ain't happening. Once we finally fuck this planet up enough, that's it. Doubt it happens in my lifetime, but we're already seeing the beginning of the end.

Great wrist watch flick. Features the Hamilton Khaki Pilot Day Date and the Khaki Field (Murph). Both are great watches. Hamilton might not be as great as it was 50 years ago (mostly uses the ETA 2824 if you know anything about watches and is now Swiss owned), it is still a solid brand. My next watch will probably be a Hamilton. Maybe one of these. 

For me, this is a better, more accessible version of 2001: A Space Odyssey, which I hated. Ambitious, exceptionally beautiful, insanely complex, this is fucking cinema at its best. How people go to this and don''t fall in love, I have no idea. This film moved me. Nolan, again, is a master filmmaker. 

Get Smart - Peter Segal - 2008

★★- Not a tight movie. Basically, every time I check to see how much time was left, I was shocked. How is there an hour left? How can there be 45 minutes to go? There are 25 minutes left in this movie, are you kidding me?

Weird to see a Rock movie where he is the fourth banana. Also, him and Terry Crews teaming up together is cray.

Lot of suspension of disbelief. Steve Carrell goes from paper-pusher to superhero as soon as he is promoted to field agent. Anne Hathaway, my queen, was looking fine though.

Dark Knight Rises - Christopher Nolan - 2012

★★★-The Dark Knight Rises. I'm Gotham's reckoning. Here to end the borrowed time you all have been living on. Christopher Nolan directed movie from 2012. The third movie in his Dark Knight trilogy. His eighth film overall. Don’t buy the critical consensus. This is a solid flick, but not a great one. 

Gist is that Batman returns after nearly a decade after the events of the previous movie, The Dark Knight. This is after the Joker's reign made Batman a public enemy. Now, the League of Shadows has returned to create terror for the citizens of Gotham. Led by Bane, the group isolates the city from the outside world with the threat of detonating a nuclear bomb and killing 13 million people. Batman returns to save the city and take down the League for good. 

Christian Bale returns as Bruce Wayne/Batman. Also staring in the flick were Michael Caine as Alfred, Gary Oldman as Gordon, Anne Hathaway as Catwoman, Tom Hardy as Bane, Marion Cotillard as Miranda Tate, Joseph Gordon Levitt as John Blake, and Morgan Freeman as Lucius Fox. 

Best two scenes of the movie are the opening one with the plane crash. Followed by the football scene which is great. Weird to follow up Batman and Bane chilling and talking with pure chaos. Love how they are cut off and Bane comes out and tells them all who is white before killing Pavel, the only one who can save them. “ We give it back to you, the people.” About the time they are freeing the “oppressed,” I’d start questioning this. 

Fight scenes are bad. Obvious misses and slow haymakers that land. Nolan hasn’t made a bad movie. Momento is his best though. 

There is a little bit of nonsense. Plot holes or whatever. Batman’s vertebrae protruding for example. Falling with a rope ran your waist with a bad back isn’t a winning strategy. Some free solo shit. 

Cast is stellar. Tom Hardy, of course, is insane. But just go with it. His voice is dumb, yeah, but I still love that dude. Even when he makes a lot of old man noises whilst dying. Peak Tom Hardy. At least at his most Tom Hardy. 

How is Joseph Gordon Levitt not a star? Anne Hathaway is straight fire. She is not a fighter though. Probably my third favorite Catwoman, but out of the seven I can think of off the top of my head, they are all pretty fire. Post peak Christian Bale. He is my favorite Bruce Wayne and Batman not in costume. Keaton is my favorite Batman. But Bale is more physical. He would probably be the best but the voice is terrible. “Tell me where the trigger is then you have my permission to die.“ Boo. Lot of hubris there. General rule for Batman in this universe is just stop talking. 

Notice the pop star chick from Ted Lasso is in this. Hangs out with Catwoman mostly. 

Gets a little weak when it gets sentimental. Dig the League of Shadows, but you can’t be the Unabomber and be taken seriously. All makes for a week last 20 minutes. Then DB Sweeney shows up. Also, Matthew Modine redeems himself and then dies off-screen. Um, OK. 

I’m fine with a happy ending. I guess I think it’s just sort of whatever. Explain it all with some auto pilot stuff which is easy to mess and sort of feel sandwiched in.