Barbie - Greta Gerwig - 2023

★★★★★-Movies are back! Barbenheimer weekend is here! Come on Oppie let’s go party! It’s fantastic! I haven't been this excited for co-releases in my life. Watched Oppenheimer on 70 mm IMAX in the row that Nolan says I was supposed to watch it in. This in the very first showing open to the public. Then followed it up with Barbie on its true release date. Both were instant classics. While Cillian Murphy might be the biggest lock of all-time for Best Actor, I believe Margot Robbie is close for her portrayal of Barbie. Wow, what a weekend!

Barbie was beyond what I was hoping for. Fantasized that Ken and Barbie would become self-aware, and the movie would basically turn into Drive. Which basically happened! Masculine rage, consumer take down, female empowerment, pro social progress. What a film. Had some flaws, but the good stuff was really unbelievably good.

Margot Robbie takes the lead as the icon, while Ryan Gosling plays a doofus, yet charming Ken. Together, they embark on a captivating journey of self-discovery, following Barbie's existential crisis. Robbie and Gosling are amazing. I mean, dear god, Robbie is spectacular. At different points, Amy Schumer and Anne Hathaway were considered for the main role before the rights transferred to Warner Bros. In 2018. Would have probably been a completely different film. I couldn't imagine anyone but Robbie. I'll watch every movie she is in from here on out.

Gosling's Ken is just out of control. I laugh just looking at this facial expressions. His Ken is a dumb guy that discovers sexism. His rage is absurd. As is his "Ken's Mojo Dojo Casa House" and love for patriarchy and horses. America Ferrera (Ugly Betty, Superstore), who plays a mom going through her own existential stuff who joins Barbie on her quest, is great as well. She delivers the best monologue about what it is to be a woman I've ever seen. This should be required viewing for all penises. 

Other Barbies include Kate McKinnon as Weird Barbie, Hari Nef (a trans actress) as Dr. Barbie, Dua Lipa as the Mermaid Barbies, and Issa Rae is President Barbie. Like that Weird Barbie wasn't “Crazy” Barbie. She just looked odd, but had gained experience. McKinnon is great. 

Rest of the main cast consists of Ariana Greenblatt coming in hot with the Gen Z perspective as the daughter, Rhea Perlman as co-founder of Mattel and creator of Barbie Ruth Handler, Helen Mirren as the narrator, and Will Ferrell as the Mattel CEO. Everything to do with the Mattel Corporation was cringy. Maybe worse than Nike in Air with how they basically claim that they “created” Michael Jordan. This is a Mattel movie, after all, so they are “in” on the joke of the movie, which somehow makes it worse. All that stuff is also unfunny and doesn't work. Could have cut it completely, and it wouldn't have mattered. There was a moment when I was truly concerned, but we got out of that storyline and were back to Barbieland. 

The Kens, collectively, are hilarious. Ones I recognized were John Cena as Kenmaid, a merman Ken, Scott Evans (brother of Chris), and Simu Liu, he was Shang-Chi in the Marvel flick Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings. He's really funny as Gosling's rival Ken, beaching each other off. Sort of recognized a few other Kens, but they are kind of a dime a dozen. 

Loved Michael Cera as deep cut character Allan, who in the Barbie universe is Ken's BFF and knocked up Midge, who also appears in the movie. In the film he comes off as an awkward tiny man who doesn't have any idea why he is. He doesn't beach very well, but does some ass kicking. 

Directed by Greta Gerwig, who is quickly becoming one of the best directors alive, she brings Mattel's beloved Barbie and Barbieland to life. She also co-wrote the screenplay alongside Noah Baumbach. The set design is unreal. It feels like The Truman Show, The Wizard of Oz, Singin' in the Rain, and The Matrix all rolled into one. 

The very end wasn't the best, didn't really land the pink plane, but the end leading up to that was solid. In fact, the whole third act was incredible and completely bananas. There were a lot of little kids in my showing. I can't imagine what they thought of what was happening then. As an adult, though, it's awesome. The Kubrickian opening was phenomenal as well. Highly recommend. 

Blade Runner 2049 is the greatest movie of all time

Blade Runner: 2049. You newer models are happy scraping the shit... because you've never seen a miracle. Fuck, man. One of my favorite movies of the decade. Sequel to a top 10 of mine from all time. Totally does that film justice and stands on its own. I fucking loved it. 

Rotten Tomato Consensus: Visually stunning and narratively satisfying, Blade Runner 2049 deepens and expands its predecessor's story while standing as an impressive filmmaking achievement in its own right.

Basic gist is that K, a police officer/blade runner/replicant, discovers some crazy shit when putting down a rogue replicant working on a protein farm. Buried on the farm is Rachel, Sean Young's character in the original, who it is discovered had a child, which should be impossible for a replicant. Thinks would give the replicants hope or something. They would realize they have souls and rise up and smash their oppressors. Fuck to the ye... So, K finds a little bit of evidence, goes to a place where a false memory of his actually happened (whoa), thinks, “hey, I'm that kid.” Spoiler, he is not. But it leads him to the real chosen person... Harrison Ford. Rick 'fuckin' Deckard. Who unlike Hans Solo doesn't yuck it up.

A lot to unpack here. First, the cinematography is incredible. Won Roger Deakins--his previous work includes most Ethan and Joel Coen bros movies, Kundun, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, The Shawshank Redemption, and a bunch of other stunners--an Academy Award. You need two watches for this movie just to take it all in. It's sick. In addition to Ryan Gosling and Ford, the movie stars Ana de Armas, Dave Bautista, beauty Mackenzie Davis (lots of pretty ladies in this), Sylvia Hoeks who plays Luv, Carla Juri, and lovely Robin Wright. Was a little nervous going in about Leto but this flick has a tolerable amount of Jared Leto though he says a bunch of nonsense and does weird shit... as he does.

You need two or more watches because there are things that change depending on your mood or what sticks out to you on that watching. For example, like the original Blade Runner, it is unclear whether Deckard is a replicant or not. It doesn't matter, this film says. Still human. Not the most original message, you know, but still one that we need to be reminded of in 2019, don't ya know. By the by, the first watch I was sure that he was a replicant. Thought they even said as much. The second, yeah, not so sure and what I heard was much more ambiguous. 

Then there is Joi, played by the lovely Ana de Armas (Knives Out) who comes up just short of winning the movie. Joi is the holographic girlfriend of K, whom she has dubbed "Joe", designed and sold by the Wallace Corporation, the bad guy in the film. On one hand, she is something like we think of TV wives from the 1950s. She brings him food, lights his cigarettes, makes him drinks, and listens to his retelling of the day while not sharing any of hers. On the other, there is definitely some connection and meaning there, though she may be programmed to make it seem like there is.  She seemed special. So did Joe, for a while, when he thought he was Deckard and Rachel's love child. So did their relationship. But she was wrong about him, he was not in fact the kid of replicants, and he was probably wrong about her and their relationship as well. She is the only "person" who doesn't think he is a piece of shit in one way or another. First viewing I thought that relationship could be meaningful. She seems as real as the replicants, at least. Feel it when she dies and says she loves him. Second time, she is just there to be what he wants. Programmed as such. After she dies, Joe/K walks by a Joi advertisement saying "Everything you want to see. Everything you want to hear." He realizes as much... Or maybe not. Suspect I might feel differently the next time I watch it. Next time it may seem that he is sad for the loss. Even though he has the opportunity to try again with another Joi, she won't be the same. Deep shit. That's what is so great about this movie.

Winning the movie, in my opinion was Ryan Gosling. Lot of depth with this character and his performance is moving. Joe, like Joi, is programmed a certain way. Can't really overcome that, or can he? Once he figures out that he is not Deckard's child, he still makes the decision to help Deckard find her. His experience gives him the tools to make that decision based on his emotions, rather than programming. It is quite powerful. I have a coworker who didn't want to watch the film because he didn't want to see Gosling "crying in the rain." He had also never seen the original. I told him there was an iconic scene in that film known as "crying in the rain," but he wasn't phased, saying Gosling does that in every movie. No, there is no Gosling crying in the rain. But the part and the film was more powerful than such a cliche. Great shit.