The Munsters - Rob Zombie - 2022

★★ - This movie is so fucking insane. I didn’t hate it, but there is no way Rob Zombie ever works again. Find his films pretty hit or miss. Wanted to like this so bad but it’s a miss. 

I love Rob Zombie and Sheri Moon. Sweet vegan people. Go team. I know a guy that was a guitar tech for him-and a bunch of other people-and he says they are the kindest people. And have I mentioned they’re vegan?

However, I have no idea who the audience for this movie is. I feel like maybe me, but hell, I don’t know. Sort of for kids but no way they’re going to get 50s references thrown at them a mile a minute.

Nick at Nite was big when I was a kid. I watched this in the Addams family all the time. I remember debating with my friends on which one was better. I’m still not sure which way I go. I fucking love both of them. Gateway into horror shit. 

That said, sigh. This movie makes some odd choices.

Rockstar/standup comedian Herman Munster is anti-funny. He’s over the top but wasn’t the worst either. For the record, Hurley from Lost is the worst. 

Sheri Moon Zombie I think is underrated as an actress. She plays Lily. People think she is terrible, but I think she is more than fine. The grandpa guy was solidish, too.

Thought that Lily was going to be pregnant at the end and that was gonna lead into a sequel, but that didn’t happen. One of those movies I was sort of into but had no idea what was happening. Think I’ll forget about it entirely in a year.

31 is the greatest movie of all time

"You diggin' what you see, pops?" "I reckon I do!" Not too shabby. One of my favorite Rob Zombie movies. Cool premise. Ticks off a few boxes for me. Interesting/creepy locale (a funhouse of murder). Cast I'm pretty into. Period piece from the 1970s. Fast-paced and over-the-top. Still a little bleak for my taste though. 

Gist is that a bunch of carnies are kidnapped and forced to fight a bunch of psycho clowns in a fucked up funhouse. This is part of a game where they have to survive for 12 hours and then are theoretically free to go. No one has ever survived the 12 hours though. 

Movie stars Sheri Moon Zombie, a real beauty. Plus she and Rob are vegan. Scores them major cool points, obviously. Jeff Daniel Phillips who I mostly know from other Rob Zombie movies. Was also in Zodiac, briefly, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., and he was one of the GEICO cavemen (the one that ordered the roast duck). Meg Foster, she was in two of my all-time favorite cult classics, Blind Fury, and They Live. Richard Brake. Think of him as The Chemist from Mandy. 

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Others you'll recognize include Malcolm McDowell, from, you know, A Clockwork Orange. Elizabeth Daily who was Dottie in Pee-wee's Big Adventure. She aged remarkably well. Miller from Repo Man (Tracey Walter) has a brief cameo. Also recognize the character Death-Head from the most overrated movie of all-time, The Big Lebowski. He's one of the Nihilists. 

Get a little of that insane Rob Zombie dialogue, but it's played down from say Halloween when the family just cusses at each other and talk about their genitals in the most disgusting way possible. You know, just like your family does. But, yeah, toned down. Do get a group of ladies saying "Sucky, sucky, sucky. Fucky, fucky, fucky. Juicy, juicy, juicy. Money, money, money," while gesturing toward their crotches. 

MVP of the movie is Brake. Basically is a more deranged version of The Chemist, but he's on point with that type of role. Or as his character, Doom-Head, says, "What I do? Unfortunately for you, I do real well!" Does have some insane lines he gets to give, "Now, you may think you see a grease-painted performer sitting before you. But trust me - I'm not here to brighten your dismal day; I am here to end your miserable life." So, yeah, insane movie. But fun in the end. Good late summer, early fall flick. Check that shit out.