Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die: Powder does air-guitar

★★★★--I loved this movie, though it was far from perfect. The realest, darkest comedy you’re ever gonna see, yes. But it also has a giant man-eating cat with a giraffe neck made of other living cat heads and a body of a goat that pees glitter. Yeah, when it eats, the little cat heads on the neck sort of puke out glitter. Once you get there, you realize “oh yeah we’re in a Black Mirror episode.” An AI nightmare. 
 
The person I watched this with was physically angered by this development. He said he almost walked out at that point and ultimately wished he had. “It was like a movie about AI written by AI,” he groaned. Personally, saw that as part of a long critique on the dangers of AI and a subverting what has been a cliché my entire life by making it realistic. Because we’ve all seen our fair share of AI crap in the last couple of years, we recognize a “shitty prompt” when we see one. As Michael Peña’s character says, “[AI] is gonna get so much worse,” or something like that. And elsewhere, “You’ve normalized this... You just can’t see how bad it’s gotten.”
 
Speaking of, I hate that guy. The actor. Scientologist, ya know. He was especially irritating in this… But it does have three of the most beautiful women in the world, all of whom start out at this random diner. Though it is in Los Angeles. They are Haley Lu Richardson (she’s the Florence Pugh looking young woman in the second season of White Lotus), Zazie Beetz from the second Dead Pool movie, and Juno Temple (she plays the popstar Keeley Jones in Ted Lasso). Sam Rockwell and White Lotus Florence Pugh were both great. Rockwell is on fucking fire as the Man from the Future. And unhinged. 
 

When talking about AI, the future man says shit like “There's some shit that's about to come down that I can't prepare you for. It's going to try to give you everything you ever wanted, but in the end, it will all be a lie.” And “Somewhere inside of you, you know the way things are, the way we're heading, the way people are with each other. You know the world's going to shit.” This is indeed how things feel at present. We all know this. It was nice to hear this in a creative film. Basically saying AI is super bad, but we are already fucked. No putting that genie back in the bottle. It is inevitable. Which is interesting and true, but also kind of where the film falls apart. 
 
For example, at some point it becomes clear that future man is at that diner because there is someone there he knows, which is obvious pretty early in the movie but is shown as a big reveal. However, because he knows her in the future, he doesn’t pick her until this time, the 117^th time he has tried and failed in this missing, wanting to keep her safe. If he wanted to keep her away from harm, why doesn’t he go anywhere else? One of several things that don’t make any fucking sense and make this confusing as hell. 
 

As far as the characters and the, spoiler, failed mission, I think where they made the mistake (assuming they were in reality at any point in the movie, because maybe they weren’t) was when they put the USB in the box. Was glad it was not a happy ending, because society is beyond fucked and AI fucking things up even more is just around the corner. That’s how reality really works. Can’t have a happy ending AI movie. We’ve been warned about it all these years and now it’s here. And it fucking sucks. Who could’ve predicted this? That’s $1 million question and now we’re just sitting back waiting on it to ruin the world more than it is already fucked. 
 
A return to directing for Gore Verbinski, who is one of the most hit or miss directors of all time. He’s been in director jail for the last decade since A Cure for Wellness bombed hard in 2016. The hits include Mouse Hunt, The Ring, the first two Pirates of the Caribbean movies, The Weather Man, and Rango. The rest, all more or less unwatchable, were The Mexican (at one time a guilty pleasure), the third Pirates of the Caribbean movie, and the truly god awful The Lone Ranger with Johnny Depp as fucking Tonto and “100% a cannable” Armie Hammer as the Lone Ranger. Yeesh. Did result in one of the greatest Onion headlines of all time, “Ecstatic American Indians Praise The Lone Ranger: ‘Finally Our Story Is Being Told,’ Tribespeople Say.” 
 

Ye olde finding-the-omnipotent-bald-child routine

Overall, highly recommend. Beautifully done. Fantastic opening. Dialogue is great. Super entertaining. Lot of homages to genres films, especially The Terminator, 12 Monkeys, and The Matrix. Also, Groundhog Day, Her, and Edge of Tomorrow. But won’t be on my top 10 come the end of the year as there are complaints. 
 
It reminded me of one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, Miracle Mile. I was super into Denise Crosby sexually as a small child and watched everything she was in. This one angered me at the time, a lot to do with the film’s bleak cynicism. Apparently, I’m not the only one who thought this. I remember the film implying a dream out and then being like, no this is real, which I found bullshitty. So obviously not something for the positive column. Though I appreciate Don’t Die’s absurdist cynicism. 
 
Powder doing air guitar is the lamest thing I’ve ever seen. Didn’t need to be two hours and 15 minutes long. But what do you trim? The film’s ending, and probably ours, is The Matrix where humanity thinks they’ve won. Sort of a bullshit ending. Was any of a real type of bullshit that I hate. Thought it was very good up until the last 10 minutes. Again, the beginning was absolutely amazing. The second act was pretty good. Third act was pretty good until it fell apart at the very end. Sort of leaves you disappointed at the end, but that’s OK. Funny but sad as fuck.

The Hunt is the okayest movie of all time

The Hunt. "Globalist elite liberal cucks." This movie. Blumhouse flick. Extremely polarizing. Political satires do that. I thought it was fun but problematic. Controversial, supposedly. I get it, for sure. A lot of people saying it wasn't worth all that drama. Probably right. I mean, it was just a movie that no one was going to see that didn't really say a whole lot. Like The Joker but not exactly going to get a standing O at Cannes. I think it was supposed to offend pretty much everyone, but I suspect it gets Trump supporters more accurately than the "liberal elite." It is sort of lopsided. As a liberal, I don't identify with anyone. Maybe the main chick, but not really. For the right-wingers, there is probably a stereotype for you.

Rotten Tomato Consensus: The Hunt is successful enough as a darkly humorous action thriller, but it shoots wide of the mark when it aims for timely social satire.

It's alright. Love the main girl. Betty Gilpin from GLOW. Not crazy about the MAGA agenda. Gist of the movie is that twelve mostly "deplorables," self-identifying, wake up in a field and are hunted by liberal elites for being terrible. These are the type of people that kill endangered species and throw around words like "cuck" and "snowflake." This hunt was sort of a Pizzagate type of myth in conservative talk cirlces. People were getting shit for it like liberals do when jokes are made so they figure, if we are going to lose our jobs and what not for this joke, let's do it for real. Whatever. It's dumb. Also, this is basically how Trump supporters see themselves: persecuted by liberals for their racism and cruelty. Fuck off.

Most of the people are easily dealt with. They are all real dumb. Not Gilpin though. She is basically The Bride from Kill Bill. Like Kill Bill, the action is pretty sick. I'm usually not a big fan, but I love the close-quarter, hand-to-hand shit that this Gilpin chick and the heavy, played by Hilary Swank, do so well. Their final blowout is indeed amazing. Top three chick-on-chick fight scene, for reals.

Bone I have to pick is that there is a pig and it dies. Have to watch it used as bate and get shot. Too sensitive for animal shit. Favorite scene though was when everything that goes down in the convenient store. This is shit is cray and not going to spoil it. When they find out where they are is also pretty fun. Plus, you know, the fighting.

People I recognize are many.  Ike Barinholtz who is the dumb guy in everything who is probably most known for The Mindy Project (I like this guy), Macon Blair from Green Room and Murder Party which are both solid AF, Dennis from It's Always Sunny,  Justin Hartley from that show I don't watch This is Us (he is the drunk one, so I'm told), Amy Madigan who was the mom in Field of Dreams, Emma Roberts from American Horror Story and Scream Queens, the singer Sturgill Simpson who is really having a moment right now (see The Dead Don't Die), and a much thinner Ethan Suplee who was the fat guy in Varsity Blues among other things whom I was happy for but then realized he is a Scientologist so fuck him.

No way that Gilpin doesn't win the movie. This probably launches her into stardom. But maybe not considering COVID-19 is tanking everything and probably ruining box office numbers/careers that aren't super established.

Plain Clothes is the greatest movie of all time

Plain Clothes. You're supposed to be helping your brother Matt, not getting nippy with some cheerleaders! Really loved this flick in my youth. Still has it's moments though I wasn't in love with it like I was as a kid. One of those putting an adult in high school movies where in this case the adult is obviously in his mid 30s. How can you go wrong with that?

Basic gist is that a youngish cop, Nick Dunbar played by 32 year old Arliss Howard, goes undercover as a high school student, choosing the name Nick Springsteen, to prove his brother's innocence of murdering one of his teachers. During this time he goes from loser to most popular kid in school with both the captain of the cheerleading team, played by one Alexandra Powers (more on her later), and a teacher, played by James Camron's wife Suzy Amis, throwing themselves at him sexually after he reads the E.E. Cummings poem "she being Brand," a car poem really about "doinking". So, yeah, Amis's teacher character is totes DTF this dude she thinks is a student. This is obviously problematic but in the 1980s was funny, apparently.

Thirsty

Decent amount of semi well known actors in the movie. People like Peter Dobson whom I only recognize from The Frighteners, Diane Ladd who was the fake Mrs. Mulwray in Chinatown plays the school secretary, Larry Pine who is a total that guy actor I've seen all over the place in the last couple of weeks, Robert Stack of Unsolved Mysteries fame plays the principal, Abe Vigoda plays a teacher (I feel like they had him for a day, he didn't learn any lines, and they just let him say whatever weird shit popped into his head) whom I mostly think of now in the context of that website that lets you know if he is dead or not, and George Wendt who was Nom in Cheers.

Personal favorite random guy who wins the movie for me is Seymour Cassel whom I think of mostly as Esteban ("Esteban was eaten!") from The Life Aquatic. He plays Nick's partner who also acts like his dad when he goes back to school. He more or less uses this to embarrass the shit out of him whenever he comes to the school. Does things like embrace him on his first day, saying "let's not let the same thing that happened at the last school happen here... I love you, son" and telling Nick's little cheerleader crush that he was grounded before driving off like a wildman. 

Also of note is this Alexandra Powers chick. She is the high school girl that everyone treats like a goddess, the cheerleader one, but has what looks like a dead animal on her head. She was in a decent amount of things after this and was even the lead in an NBC miniseries Tonya Harding/Nancy Kerrigan movie, Tonya and Nancy. I, Tonya it was not though Powers did indeed look a lot more like Tonya that the gorgeous Margot Robbie. She apparently married one of Scientology's biggest recruiters at which point she joined the cult. Hasn't been in any movies or anything since then. Eventually joined the Sea Org so that's she'll be doing for the next three billion years unless, you know, she walks away.

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers is the worst movie of all time

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers. Yeah. Not good. Sixth movie of the franchise. Fifth one to feature Michael Myers as the killer. If you remember Halloween III: Season of the Witch you know those aren't the same things. First, and only one, to star Paul Rudd. Would have been the third one to feature Danielle Harris but it wasn't meant to be because the Weinsteins are the worst. This is a long and depressing story though I mean probably a blessing in disguise because, yeah, this movie is trash. Mayhap more so than Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers. Going to revisit that eventually. I'll have to think about it. There is also a bootlegged producer's cut floating around out there--fuck it, right?--that I haven't gotten my hands on yet. It's supposed to be better and make a little more sense though I can't imagine it being great or anything. But, yeah, keep in mind, worst movie of all time, this one.

How they do 'em dirty at Miramax

Anyways, back to Harris getting shafted. By the by, gleaned all this info from this We Minored in Film article which has some other interesting factoids if you click on it. The short version is that Harris was buddies with producer Moustapha Akkad's kids. She would ask about when the next Halloween flick was going to get made a lot with Akkad keeping her informed and what not. But he partnered with Miramax who wanted to instead use a look-a-like who was over 18 because the Weinstein bros didn't want to fuck with child labor laws (all news to Harris). They ended up telling Harris that she'd have to emancipate herself from her parents to get the role. Once she did that, which apparently proved pretty costly, she got the script which pretty much sucked though it did have her make through most of the movie before getting killed off at the end as opposed to the version we get where she dies in the first 10 minutes. So the studio saw her as nonessential and offered her hardly anything which didn't cover the cost of emancipating herself. When she asked for more money, looking to at least cover the court fees and shit, the studio just offered the role to someone else, not even countering. This was supposedly all Miramax's doing with Akkad fighting for the young star. Though I'm not exactly sure "fighting" is really all that believable considering his track record.

Pros: Some decent kills. Hey, Paul Rudd. Attempts to make sense of what was going on before, though why?

Haters gonna hate

Cons: Stale AF. The nonsense metal version of the main theme that opens the film. Also the metal version of the "dun... dun dun... dun" theme. Donald Pleasance is clearly knocking on death's door, which is difficult to watch. The plot is confusing. Some uncomfortable domestic violence action. Creepy, dumb child which I hate 100% of the time. The whole Mark of Thorn underground cult thing is dumb. Lot of confusing bullshit. Do the Jamie character dirty (this was the Danielle Harris character in Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers and Halloween 5). The Weinstein bros apparently told the lead actress, the one who plays the Strode woman, one Marianne Hagan, that she wasn't very pretty, was too thin, and had a little chin that they didn't like and she'd never be a star. Just mentioning that they were huge POS way before the shit that they did sparked the whole #MeToo movement. Myers looks ridiculous. Hair and mask are stupid. Hair is clown-esque. Movement is off. So is body-type. Looks like he runs a little at some points too.

Some sad Weinstein shit with this one

Here's the gist... Jamie Lloyd, played by one J.C. Brandy in this film, niece of notorious serial murderer Michael Myers, now a young woman, gives birth to a baby boy which Michael is also the father. This is in some weird hospital run by this Cult of Thorn group that created Michael and are trying to create his replacement or something. It's not super clear since Myers also wants to kill the kid. I have no idea why the baby, basically. Jamie escapes and flees with her baby to the Haddonfield, IL area with excellent driver Myers in pursuit. Once she gets a bit of distance between them, Jamie calls a douche bag radio show host from a pay phone wanting Loomis, played by Pleasance, which gets him and the character Tommy Doyle who was the kid that Laurie Strode babysat in the original Halloween, this time played by Ant-Man himself Paul Rudd, on the lookout for Jamie, her baby, and Michael. Eventually she ditches the baby at a bus stop before Michael catches up to her and kills her gruesomely by impaling her on some farm equipment that he turns on, ripping her apart. Michael, now, is on the loose, headed back to his old crib to kill everyone there while also looking for his nephew/son and killing the Cult of Thorn folk because fuck it. There is also this side story with this Kara Strode woman, played by Hagan, who lives in the Myers house with her abusive father, abused mother, brother, and son that may be possessed or cursed or something. Sure, it's a common problem. She ends up getting swept up by all this shit as the Cult of Thorn kidnaps her and her son and the baby and Rudd and Loomis and what the fuck.

Alice in Chains Dirt girl and known Scientologist

Favorite line of the movie is more of an exchange. It's between Kara Strode's bro and his girl friend, Beth, who at times looks just like Jennifer Jason Leigh. It goes thus:

Beth: Your sister would kill us if she knew we did it in her bed.
Tim Strode: Hey, it was your idea.
Beth: I am bad, aren't I?
Tim Strode: Only when you wear crotchless panties and bark like a dog.
(Tim gets up)
Beth: Where are you going?
Tim Strode: I gotta take a shower. You know, to stay fresh.
Beth: Watch out for the bogeyman.

Fun facts about Mariah O'Brien, the actress who plays the girl friend. She was the model on the cover of the Alice in Chains album Dirt. She also went to jail for running a ponzi scheme where she ripped off fellow Scientologists. She is one of those and reached the level of "Clear" which is indeed some bullshit. She was married to Giovanni Ribisi, another more famous douche bag Scientologist, back in the day as well. Might be time to remind people that Scientology makes me irrationally angry.

Lot of halfway decent and generally satisfying kills in this piece of crap. Jamie's death was pretty gnarly. The nurse at the beginning, now a big Trump supporter, gets her head impaled on a spike. Myers goes on a rampage at the end, too. More on that later. But the one that really stuck out was the Strode dad. Not only is he an abusive asshole who beats his wife and daughter, he's also a liar that puts his family in jeopardy by moving them into the Myers house and not telling them which is just insane. He shouldn't be that surprised when Myers shows up to kill him but he is. Anyway, the way he gets it is that he first gets stabbed in the gut. Then he gets carried over to the electrical box. Then Myers stabs the box with Strode daddy still impaled. This electrocutes him. Unexpectedly, his head explodes which was unexpected, shocking, and super cool. Easily the best kill, maybe in the series.

Pleasance, picture of health

And now for some shit... Just a note, limiting it to three instances as I ain't got all night. When we first see Loomis he looks rough AF. Way older than his 75 years. Has a drink with his old friend from Smith's Grove Dr. Wynn. Should have a toast with a vitamin and a glass of water. The shit with this scene though is that he acts all like, "oh, if it isn't my old friend Dr. Wynn" like we are supposed to know who the fuck this guy is. Wynn, it turns out, was a doctor that Loomis was seen with briefly in the original. It's a pretty deep cut that no one would ever in a million years remember. Some more shit is every second that this radio host speaks or is on the screen. He is like a true crime shock jock or something. Whilst interviewing Beth and Tim he gets all worked up by Beth and acts disgusting, saying to Tim, "Does she get this riled up in bed? I bet she wears crotchless panties and barks like a dog." Beth lets it drop that Tim lives in the Myers house. He has no idea even though like everyone else in the town fucking knows. The radio guy is like, "everybody head to this guy's house!" but no one does. He goes to his van to move the party there but he calls Myers a pussy and dies like 5-seconds later even though Myers was just killing the dad, the dope head exploding kill, in the previous scene. A minute later we get this cringeworthy bit where this little girl under a tree has his blood dripping down on her. She says "Mommy, it's raining red" and then the dude falls from the tree. Ok. Why? Have to ask that a lot in this one. Lastly, what the fuck are they doing with this possessed child? Not the baby but this Kara chick's son. In the scene where Beth and Tim get murdered, Kara watches from Tommy's room, saying shit like, "oh my god," when all the sudden she sees her son crossing the street and going over to the murder house. WTF is this kid doing? They imply that he is possessed or something but they don't really go anywhere with any of this. When Kara goes over to retrieve him, he is just sitting there, staring off like an idiot. Kara is like, "whatcha doin?" and sends him off. There is a killer in the house who is chasing Kara and all. But she surprise attacks him, hitting him with a fire poker that sends him tumbling down the steps. He is just laying there and you think the kid is long gone but he comes back here at the most inopportune time and stands there right next to this maniac. What they are you doing? Most the other times he is on the screen he is yelling shit like "Mom. Mommy. Mom." So forth. God I hate children. 

Favorite scene is more or less the whole bit in the hospital at the end with everyone (Loomis, Kara, Rudd, the kid, the baby, so forth) stuck in this hospital with the Cult of Thorn and Myers and other insane people. First, there are a lot of satisfying kills in this sequence. Like when he goes into the Cult of Thorn ritual where they are god only knows what with the baby in the OR and just massacres everyone. Not sure how he got to the hospital or if they like wanted him there or what but it's a solid 30 seconds of pure chaos and like 15 kills, including Dr. Wynn. It seems at the beginning of the movie and here that they just let Myers roam around the hospital and kill patients whenever he gets the urge. Unclear what his day to day is like exactly. Also, it is implied that they were cloning Myers babies or something when we see a bunch of dead babies in vats and shit. Not sure what is happening there. Anywho, after he kills all the folks, then it is time to do whatever with the baby but Rudd, Loomis, Kara, the kid, and the baby are out of there. The chase is pretty great with Rudd and them locking a cell door behind them which gets a Cult of Thorn doctor killed when Myers grabs him and pushes his head through the bars until the door pops off the hinges. He eventually catches up to the fleeing group. The way I remembered the franchise was that Myers started teleporting around at some point in the series but I guess not. It's clearer here that he just knows every shortcut and is really good at using it. Screwed, Rudd seemingly gives Myers the baby. What is Myers planning to do with it exactly? Raise it as a single dad? We don't get to find out because it wasn't a baby, surprise to no one, but ends up being a bunch of syringes filled with green shit. Wait, what? Rudd stabs him with the needles and shoots him up with said green shit and eventually beats him to death with a pipe until the green shit comes out his eyes. Um, okay. That is how they end Myers in this one. But it's not over as Myers can't die. Ever. He is Akkad's money maker. So they leave. Loomis is all like "you kids go, I'll be alright." But he's not. Myers ain't fucking dead and we hear Loomis die over the end credits. And that was the best scene.

And finally, Paul Rudd is the obvious MVP of the film. Even though the movie is trash and his role isn't anything special, it's hard to take your eyes off that guy. I originally saw this after Clueless way back in the day so I knew his face. Maybe that was why but I swear that you can sort of tell that that dude was going to be a star. While this film isn't exactly something he was proud of, it is what got him started and he now looks back on it with some amusement. Here is what he had to say about in an interview that came out after he was an Avenger:

When I first saw Halloween 6, I remember thinking, Oh God, this movie’s not good, and I was really kind of bummed out. In fact when we first started making it, I remember thinking, Oh, this is the one that’s going to be different! [laughs] I enjoyed making it; I thought it was really, really fun. But then I thought, Oh God, are people going to think I’m a joke? Am I ever going to get work as an actor after this comes out? I have since changed my tune; I love it. I’m honored to be part of a franchise that has lasted that long, that has that many devotees, and I couldn’t be happier that I can say that my first movie is a Halloween movie. 

Regardless of how he feels now, you can totally see that he is totally swinging for fences and he connects more than he doesn't. Without his charm, I'd say the movie is more or less unwatchable. But damn is that dude charismatic. And that is Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers the worst movie of all time.

Runaway is the greatest movie of all time

Runaway, set in the unknown future, follows Tom Selleck's mustachioed police office character who is some sort of authority on robots that kill and those who program them to do their bidding. The movie is absurd and amazing. There is so much to love. Selleck. Michael Crichton wrote and directed. Gene Simmons as the surprisingly cool antagonist. Kirstie Alley. And then there are the fucking robots.

This was a favorite from childhood. I remember this being god tier. While amazing, there were some things. But it did have acid filled, occasionally exploding, robot spiders. So there is that... But overall, I still fucking loved it.

Here is some cool shit Selleck had to say about the movie: “Jack Ramsay is not exactly a character whose name is on the tip of everybody’s tongue, but Runaway was a really great popcorn movie... It was very futuristic, it had robots and all sorts of stuff, and it was a nice movie. It was a good movie that I’m very proud of. It didn’t do very well, which was a great disappointment to Michael, who became a friend. And Gene Simmons was in it! Gene hadn’t been in a feature film before, but he was great.We had some great talks and good times... I know it [the plot] sounds hokey, but with Michael Crichton at the helm, it was pretty good stuff.”

The 80s loved themselves some robot butlers

Pros: Selleck's mustache. Simmons (believe it or not). Crichton. Have I mentioned the robot spiders?

Cons: Feels very low budget but can't be. Three or four 15 minute scenes of boring ramblings. I can't see my younger self being too into that. It also had way less action than I remembered.

Disclaimer: My notes pretty much always contain some spoilers but I rarely give away the ending.

Notes: This was Crichton's 1984 idea of what about now would be like. Fucking nailed it. This is in the 1980s so there is a lot just-make-up-all-the-tech. They throw a bunch of fancy tech nonsense around and then use giant cell phones. Most of the robots look like the Never-Ending Pie-Throwing Robot (Neptr) from adventure time.

Kojack, the early years

There are like five scenes that just drag on forever in this movie. The scene towards the beginning that is basically a 20 minutes standoff with a robot (which I will detail a bit), the scene where Simmons like negotiates with this guy (who he just ends up killing) for these “templates” for these heat seeking bullets that ultimately pays off with the first showing of a spider, the scene where Selleck and his lady partner go to his house and meet his fucking annoying kid, the scene where Selleck removes an exploding bullet from his partner's arm (one would assume that Selleck has medical training too or something), and the scene where the police are searching this bathroom for Simmons (they spend 15 fucking minutes in the bathroom and then don't find him).

In the future, they are also lax about interdepartmental romance

So the aforementioned scene at the beginning with the robot standoff is the most ridiculous thing I've ever fucking seen. A family lives at this house. Mom, dad, baby. The robot has killed the mom. The dad is out of the house and leaves when they start to ask questions (Simmons wants him dead and he freaks out and just bounces) and the fucking baby is still in the house with the robot who is in a murderous rage. Eventually, after like 10 minutes of procedural masturbation, Selleck goes in. The news is there. Selleck is like tiptoeing in all quiet. Then, all of the sudden, this camera guy fucking follows him in. He just walks in like an idiot. Selleck silently is like “what the fuck are you doing?” The guy silently is like, “go fuck yourself,” and this robot that has a gun and is set to murder immediately fucking shoots him in the face. Here we see Simmons for the first time. He looks like Telly Savalas with hair.

At the station, we see that in this future you can smoke inside. During this scene Selleck logs onto his computer and his entire file pops up. There on his computer we see that character is 35. He looks so fucking old. He's always been a grizzled old man. There we also get introduced to a young, bitchy, pre-nose job Kirstie Alley. Blame it on Scientology. She eventually gets held hostage by a rogue robot that shoots blue lightning. Lots of blue lightning and red lasers in this movie. Ah, to be a red laser or blue lightning salesman in the 1980s. You'd still be made. Anyway, Selleck beats that robot to death with a chair which is a little weird.

While transporting Alley, who was Simmons's girl who he now wants dead, we see another Simmons gadget. These are like these little wheeled honing missiles they call “lock-ons” and are not to be confused with “hop-ons” (Arrested fans?). They look fucking stupid. Eventually though he catches up to them and kidnaps Selleck's partner. What he does is so poorly thought out. He swaps Alley for this chick at a restaurant and immediately kills Alley which was insane. Now he has to jump two stories from the eatery into a fountain that is at most nine inches deep and hide out in the woods to make his escape. All of this is for these dumb fucking templates.

Getting toward the end here. Simmons, ever the kidnapper, nabs Selleck's kid. Goes to this tall building that is being constructed. There are spiders everywhere. At around this point I sort of realized that the movie is basically a less complex Vertigo with robot spiders. There is a bunch of stuff about Selleck being afraid of heights which he has to overcome to save the day in the end. That and doing a fucking pull up. So this movie, which I loved, can basically be skipped if you watch this one scene. If you watch this, then you get the gist.

Repo Man is legitimately the greatest movie of all time

Still the best damned car on the lot after my 20-somethingth viewing. Never gets old. This is the only non-horror films I do this with. Alone, unable to sleep, a couple nights ago was that viewing.

Every time I catch something new. This time it is that a coworker, Kevin, of protagonist Otto who gets fired from the grocery along with him by manager Mr. Humphries is revealed to be the manager's son. Early we see Kevin hosting a party saying it's at his parents' house. Later we see Mr. Humphries at the same house in the doorway. Here Kevin can be seen in the background, adjusting a TV set.

Pros: Dialogue. Music. Punk style. Ludicrous and amazing storyline. Harry Dean Stanton. Hilarious.

Cons: Flawless.

Best line: “Let's go commit some crimes.” “Yeah, let's go get sushi and not pay.”

Disclaimer: My notes pretty much always contain some spoilers but I rarely give away the ending.

Notes: With this watching, I focused on the critique of religious hypocrisy pointed toward the cult of Scientology. I know infinitely more about the infamous belief system than my last viewing after watching Going Clear and Leah Remini series and have been interested in rewatching with all that in mind.

We get the first shot at religion soon into it when protagonist Otto, the Mightly Duck man himself, Emilio Estevez, goes home to his hippy parents' place wanting the money his parents gave away to the to Reverend Larry on the electric teevee machine (may or may not have been a Scientologist) to make bad decisions with. While his parents do a jay they break the news that they gave that money away to the rev's telethon, sending Bibles to El Salvador. This all happens as Larry drones on with the following:

“The lord has told me personally. Yay for I walk with the lord, Amen. He said Larry you and your flock shall seek the promised land. But only if you first destroy the twin evils of godless communism abroad and liberal humanism at home. Oh joy and Hallelujah smash'em down. Now my friends... Occasionally we get a letter from a viewer that says now the only reason Reverend Larry comes on your television set is because he wants your money. And do you know what? They're right! I do want your money. Because god wants your money. So I want you to go out and mortgage that home and sell that car and send me your money. You don't need that car.”

What about Otto? He is on “the honor roll of the chariots of fire.” Same as them. A gift. From all of them jointly. Megachurch cults were starting the new big thing at the time, apparently, among the early boomers as they as they went from hippie to conservative in the decade of greed as good.

But he is given two appealing alternate worldviews. One by Bud and one by Miller.

Bud, the repo man that introduces Otto to the lifestyle, presents him with his set of values in the form of the “Repo Code.” Every man has to have a code. Bud's basically puts a lot of emphasis on personal responsibility. For him duty, doing the job to the best of his abilities, is his raison d'etre. But. Some of these guys. They don't live by the code. The rival repo men, the Rodrigo brothers--”Gypsy dildo punks”--and several of the gentlemen at the Helping Hand Acceptance Corporation come to mind. This leads to a lot of strife among all those groups (not to mention the nihilist punks that believe in nothing).

The code basically goes thus: “I shall not cause harm to any vehicle nor the personal contents thereof, nor through inaction let that vehicle or the personal contents thereof come to harm.”

Then there is Miller's “lattice of coincidence.” That is, basically, all things happen for a reason because of an underlying interconnectedness.

“A lot of people don't realize what's really going on,” Miller says. “They view life as a bunch of unconnected incidents and things. They don't realize that there's this, like, lattice of coincidence that lays on top of everything. Give you an example, show you what I mean: suppose you're thinkin' about a plate of shrimp. Suddenly someone'll say, like, 'plate,' or 'shrimp,' or 'plate of shrimp' out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin' for one, either. It's all part of a cosmic unconsciousness.”

While Miller speaks, Otto tosses a copy of Dioretix: The Science of Matter Over Mind by A. Rum Bobb, an obvious spoof of L. Ron Hubbard's Dianetics, into a trash fire Miller has going. The book was given to him by another repo man, Lite, who tells Otto that the book will change his life. From there it gets a little weirder but elaborates on his philosophy.

“There ain't no difference between a flying saucer and a time machine. People get so hung up on specifics they miss out on seeing the whole thing. Take South America for example. [In] South America, thousands of people go missing every year. Nobody knows where they go, they just, like, disappear. But if you think about it for a minute, you realize something. There had to be a time when there was no people, right? Well where did all these people come from, huh? I'll tell you where. The future. And where did all these people disappear to? [Otto: The past?] That's right! And how did they get there? Flying saucers. Which are really..? Yeah, you got it, time machines. I think a lot about this kind of stuff.”

This all makes more sense with the ending when Miller and Otto ride off in a Chevy Malibu with aliens in the trunk in the movies climax, to give just a bit away. Dude seems insane but there is some stuff there... Anyway, this movie is the fucking best.  

Blood Father was the greatest movie of all time

Blood Father is out there but enjoyable. Mel Gibson acts his ass off in this kickass flick. I watched Get the Gringo, another Gibson movie, a few years ago and really liked it. This one was even better. It is pretty unfortunate that Gibson is such a fucking mess. Dude is killer on the electric TV machine.

I guess Gibson is sort of back. Apparently Hollywood people (and people in general) are over the homophobia, racism, sexism, antisemitism, so forth. But Eastwood is still out. Fuck that guy. Talking to a fucking chair. What kind of shit is that.

This sort of made me realize I can forget a lot of shit about the actors on screen—I assume they are all fucking horrible—unless they are Scientologists. If they worship Xenu or Tom Cruise or whatever and are into their Thetan levels then they are fucking dead to me. I will not watch a movie with a Scientologist in it without mentioning it at least 20 fucking times. Other personal demons—maybe with the exception of supporting Trump—don't usually ruin movies for me.

Pros: Solid performances. Gibson looks fucking awesome and kills it. Taut for an action flick.

Cons: Not the most original thing I have ever seen. Gibson is a racist.

Best line: “I'm afraid of what you'll think about me.” “And ruin the great impression you've made so far.”

Disclaimer: My notes pretty much always contain some spoilers but I rarely give away the ending.

Notes: Starts with a girl, who we see on a missing person flier, buying bullets for a gang. She is suspected of stealing from the gang. They go to this house where people were stealing money and kill the guy that lives there. Want her to kill the girl. Drugs and money. Instead she shoots the main gang guy, her boyfriend, and takes off.

Now we see a bearded Gibson. Dude is fucking fit. It is strange watching this with Logan out there because a bearded Gibson looks just like a bearded Jackman. It's fucking so weird. Also, it's sort of a similar movie as both involve the dude with a beard driving around some girl with Mexican paramilitary ties for the whole movie before finally shaving and then dying.

Who wore it better?

But yeah, he is a recovering addict who works in a tattoo parlor. He has also done time. His sponsor is William H. Macy. In his Lethal Weapon trailer, his daughter, the girl from the first scene who has been missing for five or so years calls, freaking out, wanting money to skip town. Been there, man. So far the hopes are high for this movie.

He convinces her to stay with him for one and to dry-out before skipping town. She's freaked out and still using though. The gang shows up. Have a shootout that ends with them tipping the mobile home and the trailer park community mobilizing a militia within minutes. They bounce, he is on parole, and she starts letting him in on what is going on but she is “afraid of what” he will think of her. “And ruin the great impression you've made so far.” So they are wanted by the police. They show up at a hotel they are staying at. Out of nowhere though this terminator, sicario dude shows up. He basically is the fucking terminator. The scene where he is shooting at them as they are fleeing the parking lot might as well have that burp song that played whenever you saw T2.

Make their way to some biker dude's compound. It's that guy that is in all of Tarantino and Kevin Smith's movies these days. The patriarch from Red State. He owes Gibson for taking a rap and doing time. That night he hosts a biker party. He corners the girl at said party. Gives her some biker wisdom. He makes some points but mostly just talks a lot of nonsense. Then he ends up selling them out for a $30K reward. Real piece of shit, this guy. Talks a bunch more shit and Gibson gets the upper hand. Apparently he was some real badass before he went to prison. The biker gang comes at him on the road, I guess since Red State was so loyal, and they have a shootout on the road which ends with a bike hitting a semi head on. It is gnarly and cool.

Getting towards the end here, things get tense and real as per use. It ends with some pretty sweet but low-key action that never goes over-the-top. If you like Terminator 2: Judgement Day, you will like this as it is more or less the same movie but with bikers and Zetas. Plus, Archie from Repo Man shows up a couple of times. Anyone from that movie making an appearance is always a positive.