Mother Mary: Anne Hathaway vs. the Nope Alien

★★★—A movie that asks, after an hour of nonsense, what if Taylor Swift was possessed by the Nope alien, except red.   

Solid but confusing as shit. About a popstar of the Gaga/Swift persuasion who is losing her humanity, so she goes back to the last person she was able to relate to as a normal person, her old dressmaker, whom she has had a falling out with. This is all if you are looking at it as metaphor. I don’t see the world like that, I’m way too literal, but I try to look for it. This one, I really struggled with. So this red ghost/demon/alien/ribbon is the popstar chick’s humanity? But it is possessing her? And that is a bad thing? What is happening? 

It’s also like the 5th popstar horror movie I’ve seen in the last couple years. Not sure it knows what it wants to be. A few minutes in I start thinking it’s not horror. Then we get some Suspiria Markos Dance Academy shit. Maybe it is horror. Then it veers toward queer relationship movie, but pulls back. And then goes back to horror again, I think.    

Whole movie henges on three actors—Anne Hathaway, Michaela Coel, and Hunter Schafer. Coel was in one of the Black Panther movies, a Star Wars flick, and some Black Mirror. Schafer is the young lady from Cuckoo. Hathaway needs no introduction. She always bringing it. Plus, she has looked 30 for the last 25 years. Hasn’t noticeably aged at all since the Dark Knight Rises. They pull it off.    

Overall, some things to like. Music is surprisingly solid. Great performances. Feels like a play. Highly stylized. Exceptionally beautiful…. Not a single line uttered by a man, which is interesting. But nothing happens. One hell of a swing. But it goes foul. Trying too hard. Plot was not my cup of tea. Got bored more than once. Took a long time to get going. 

LA Confidential: Very hush-hush

 

★★★★—One of my favorite films from the 1990s. Saw it in the theater my freshman year of high school with a girl I was trying to get with. She was not impressed. I wouldn’t shut up about it. I knew we wouldn’t work out. 

 

Still not as good as the book as a lot of the plot gets boiled down and some things don’t make a lot of sense as a result. The whole Exley sleeping with Lynn thing is confusing, there is no mention of any child killings at all (though that is like half the book), and heroine is more or less just MacGuffin in the movie. James Ellroy has a legit beef for what the film did to his novel, but I don’t think what he wanted would have been possible for a normal length feature film. Also, calling it a “turkey of the highest order” is a lot of hyperbole. 

Ger

The Johnny Stompanato stuff is extremely lame. It feels like we are going and meeting him in a video game. “Choose your own adventure. A. Good cop. B. Bad cop. C. Lean on him.” Everyone chooses option C. Lot of tooling on world famous thug Johnny Stompanato. Bud calls him a “wop cocksucker,” which he uncharacteristically lets slide. Exley calls his girlfriend, Lana Turner, the movie star, a whore. This also doesn’t get him killed, though Turner throws a drink in his face. 

Kevin Spacey, Russell Crowe, and Guy Pearce are all excellent and memorable. At the time, I was most impressed with Crowe, but now I’d unfortunately call Spacey the best of the bunch, but he’s an asshole. Supporting cast is great, too, especially James Cromwell, one of my favorite vegans. David Strathairn, Ron Rifkin, Graham Beckel (who always plays a cop), all good. Danny DeVito, Kim Basinger, they are okay. Basinger is hella fine though. 

Has an authentic 1950s vibe I am a total sucker for. This led to many noir flicks for me in the late 90s. It holds its own with the best of them, weaving together crime, corruption, and Hollywood glamour. 

Though I don’t think it is a truly great film—too confusing, not focused enough—it is one of my favorites, and one I’ve watched many, many times. Hell, the DVD was the first thing I ever bought on Amazon, this also being my first DVD… 

 

Something funny, once I fell asleep watching it. The home screen is DeVito saying “Off the record. On the QT. And very Hush-Hush.” I had a friend staying with me and he couldn’t figure out how to turn off the DVD player. He now hates this movie.