The Housemaid: Good for her

★★★★--Love a good bitty-driven erotic thriller. Kind of hot at times. Hard to watch at others. Still glad I saw it, and it’s still out in theaters, which seems like a good sign. 

Amanda Seyfried Is pretty amazing. Sydney Sweeney and her “good jeans” are smokin’. Directed by Paul Feig who does a lot of random TV, created Freaks and Geeks (which I love), and directed Bridesmaids (one of the most hilarious movies of the 2010s). He’s competent. Don’t think I really care for the male lead, one Brandon Sklenar. He’s 0-for-2 in the last couple months with another wooden performance in last year’s Drop.
 
Has some Single White Female/Hand That Rocks the Cradle vibes. It’s a lot of fun though predictable and not everything makes a whole lot of sense. One of those good-for-them flicks.

31 Days of Halloween: Second Chance Night: Ginger Snaps: A Tale of Teenage Transformation

Ginger Snaps - John Fawcett - 2000 

★★★-Day 12 of the Nightmare on Film Street  31 Days of Halloween Horror Challenge. Second chance night. Like it more than my first watch like 20 years ago. But I’m still not a huge fan. It's just fine.

Gist is two teenage sisters, Ginger and Brigitte, are obsessed with death and are kind of outcasts in their suburban high school. Ginger gets attacked by a werewolf and shit starts getting weird between them. You know, Ginger becomes more violent, both physically and behaviorally unrecognizable, and Brigitte searches for a way to reverse the werewoof curse. Clever title, ya dig? This all while navigating the dangers of adolescence, family dynamics, and such. Explores themes of puberty, identity, and the monstrous feminine, blending body horror with dark humor.

Emily Perkins as Brigitte and Katharine Isabelle as Ginger. Perkins I mostly think of as Bev Marsh from the 1990 It. Isabelle pops up here and there in mostly horror. She was the star in American Mary, played teen fodder in Freddy vs. Jason, and even appeared in a lesser Nolan film with Insomnia.
 
Others you may recognize include Kris Lemche as a drug dealing werewoof expert. He was in Final Destination 3, the one with the roller coaster, and shows up pretty frequently on the electric teevee machine. 
 
Mimi Rogers plays the mom. She famously introduced Tom Cruise, her husband from 1987 through 1990, to Scientology, which she left after the divorce. Looks like her and David Miscavige fucking hate each other and she’s on the Scientology naughty list, considered a “suppressive person.” Good for her. 

Jesse Moss plays a douche bro who gets turned. Was just writing the other day about Tucker & Dale vs Eviland saying haven’t seen him in anything else, though he plays a convincing prick. Of course, I randomly watch a movie with him in it the next day. 

Directed by one John Fawcett. He’s worked steadily since the early 1990s, directing mostly episodes of TV, most notably a huge chunk of Orphan Black. Film-wise, he’s mostly known for this flick.
 
Something funny is that the sisters are doing some art project where they stage suicides and photograph it. My theme for AP Art Studio this same time was suicide. Still have a few of those pieces from high school. One is a self-immolation. Another is the old death by hanging with a belt. I wasn’t a particularly dark kid but have always wanted that to be an option for people. 

Reminded me of sex ed from elementary school. How women have periods while dudes have nothing seemed infinitely unfair to me. “You mean women go through this traumatic experience every month for 30 to 40 years? Do men have anything like that. No. Crazy.”

Anywho, the flick wreaks of Canada. Canadian horror can be pretty fun. Pretty niche blend of psychological tension, atmospheric dread, and dark humor. There is the country's vast, often landscapes, lending itself to themes of isolation and identity. Emphasize slow-building tension, cerebral scares, social anxieties, fears of transformation/otherness. You get the idea. Usually can tell if a film is Canadian within a few minutes. There is an old joke, is this the United States 10 years ago, or Canada today?
 
Lot of dead dogs. Now I remember why I didn't like it as this is a great way to turn me off. Poor Baxter. Rest in peace, Norman. On the other hand, if you are going to keep a dog chained up, go fuck yourself. But, yeah, too much dead dog. 

Zoe Kravitz’s Debut is Perfect Slow Burn Horror

Blink Twice - Zoë Kravitz - 2024

★★★★★--Perfect slow burn horror. Saw people saying the pacing was off because of this. I disagree. 

Brilliant flick. Favorite horror movie of the year, so far. Was not expecting a banger from first-time director Zoe Kravitz. Not at all what I expected in general. The trailer is some great misdirection. Got me into the theater and then pulled the rug out. This is part of what makes the film so great, IMO. 

Gist is a cocktail waitress is invited to a tech billionaire’s private island, only to uncover dark and terrifying secrets. That is all you need to know going in. 

 

Stars Naomi Ackie in the lead. Recognize her from her television work in The End of the F***ing World andMaster of None. Also played Whitney Houston in the biopic I Wanna Dance with Somebody. Rest of the cast includes Channing Tatum, Christian Slater, former MTV VJ Simon Rex, Adria Arjona from that Richard Linklater movie Hit Man, Kyle MacLachlan, Haley Joel Osment, Geena Davis, and Alia Shawkat. Great cast of characters that all work phenomenally together. You love the women in this movie, especially the leads, Ackie and Arjona. Go in with just the trailer and you’ll love it. The trigger warning is real, as this movie is super disturbing. There is one scene where a woman is screaming in this horrific, visceral way. 

 

Light spoilers ahead. The ladies are controlled by a perfume made from the flowers that only grows on the island that causes them to forget. Literal snake oil causes them to snap out of it. Inspired by the Lotus Eater’s myth from the Odyssey where people live on a small island and consume lotus plants that cause them to live in a perpetual state of bliss. Their lifestyle causes them to lose all sense of urgency and forget where they came from or how long they’ve been on the island.

 

Forgetting our trauma is a gift. It can be, sure, but you often need that shit to be who you are in the end. 

 

This was the best horror debut I can think of since Jordan Peele dropped that flick in 2017. Love a chick revenge movie. All the women in this are bad ass. Geena Davis is like a Get Out character. She sort of represents an older generation who didn’t get the memo that “women should look out for each other instead of competing.” 

Fear the Night: Sisterhood of the vengeful deaths

Fear the Night - Neil LaBute - 2023 

★★★★-Loved this flick. I could watch beautiful women murder right-wingers every day, which I pretty much have for the month of October.  

Gist of this film is Tess, a battle-scared Iraq War vet with booze issues, comes home to pick up the pieces and mend fences with her sister, Beth, on their way to their other sister’s bachelorette party at the old family farmstead. On the way, she makes some wannabe military good old boys feel small and then keys one of their trucks, I love that shit. Now we are getting a feel for Tess. She’s uncomfortable in a crowd and hostile toward jerky men and senses some bull shit going down with the farm's caretakers.  

As the party gets underway, lone wolf Tess spends most of her time by herself outside. During a stripper chef routine, the group gets ambushed by a gang of hilljacks who make the fatal mistake of killing Rose, the younger sister. Tess, with all her combat training, goes full Rambo, turning the farm into a fortress and leading the remaining party-goers in a desperate fight for survival.  

Only face I recognized was Maggie Q, as Tess, from her role as the lead in the CW television series Nikita. The others billed include Kat Foster, Travis Hammer, and Gia Crovatin.  

Directed and written by Neil LaBute. He’s done some stuff I liked alright, notably Your Friends & Neighbors and Nurse Betty, and some episodes of Billions, as well as some stuff that I really didn’t, the remake of The Wicker Man (2006). But I pretty much loved this flick. 

Some notes... Not all the women are created equal here. Opening the door, for example. This leads to most of them getting captured. It all ends up being over a small grow/meth operation. 

The sister throwing the party, Beth, fucking sucks. I guess we don’t know why she hates her veteran sister who has issues with alcohol and men, but she hates her. 

Stripper chef is a funny and disgusting concept. I bet he can’t cook for shit. He’s a handsome bald guy but could have just as easily played one of the rednecks. When shit hits the fan, he tries to take over, as guys do, but it doesn’t end well.  

Trigger warning here. Dudes are really focused on the rape aspect of the home invasion.  

The guys think the caretakers were the ladies’ boyfriends, which is insane. Thinks Tess is slumming it. He ends up giving “her an out.” However, she is all about killing this guy in hand-to-hand. This fucking tweaker. She hands his ass to him, quickly and with vengeance. And all they did was cost her a sister and her sobriety.  

Fucking cops show and just do a lot of victim blaming. Female lawyer that takes no shit is having none of that shit. But then the end implies that one of the sisters knew about the meth lab, so I guess he was right in the end to suspect them of something. If I read that right, it was meh, but I’m ignoring it to give this movie four stars.  

Overall take: Watching badass bitches kill right-wingers is my kink. Sexually. Personally, I like the Courtney Love track star chick who offers herself up as bait. She doesn’t run like a track star, though she is wearing men’s shoes. But she is adept at smashing a guy’s skull. Lot of top-tier flicks like this lately. The Becky films. You’re Next a decade ago. 

Fearful Inequalities: Brea Grant's "Lucky" unmasks gender dynamics with a horror that unmasks deeper societal fears

Lucky - Brea Grant - 2020

★★★★★-A seemingly typical home-invasion thriller takes a twisted turn, revealing a much more unsettling and enigmatic narrative. Lucky is not just another horror movie. It delves deep into profound themes, exploring violence against women, trauma, and gender-based assumptions. 

Gist is a self-help relationship author who isn't selling and her dude (a philosophy professor) have a supernatural psycho slasher “guy” come to their home and try to kill them every night. So this is in the trailer so no spoiler, but she doesn't know that this happens when the movie starts, though she has been married or whatever to this guy for however long. He knows what's up and is like, “oh, the guy, he tries to kill us every night; we better get to fighting for our lives.” Totally a mundane part of his day. This guy seems like a real turd, of course, but he is not the only one. As time goes by, we see all these shitty ways that her husband and those that write it off are terrible. “This has nothing to do with my husband,” she keeps saying. The most obvious metaphor I've ever seen, sure, also the reoccurring image of cracked glass, but the movie wants to be obvious. The slasher (who looks just her husband wearing a clear mask) is directing all this violence at her, you see. It is a part of her life and this dude treats it as normal. It's actually pretty powerful. 

Stars Brea Grant, who also directs, in the lead. Also, Dhruv Uday Singh as Ted (the husband), Kausar Mohammed as her assistant, Yasmine Al-Bustami as her sister-in-law, Leith M. Burke as her publisher, and Hunter C. Smith as "The Man". Mostly unknowns. One woman I recognized from the Rob Zombie Halloween movie. The one who played the PJ Soles role. Kristina Klebe is her name. I like her. She pops up in this type of horror flick from time to time. Most recently saw her in Brooklyn 45. 

Deconstructs a lot of the conventions of the genre. Also, as a man, I'm guilty of some of the things that these shitty people do in this movie. Obviously not to that extreme, but enough to know that I need to try harder. It's not often that a piece of media elicits real change. It's a metaphor for #yesallmen. i.e. there may be only one literal guy attacking her, but the other men share some of the blame for their part in "normalizing" it.

This is the biggest margin between the Tomatometer and the Audience Score on RT that I've ever seen. 93% among critics; 29% for us regular schmoes. Based on the trailer, I was thinking Happy Death Day or something like that. This is way, way more unsettling/disturbing than the preview makes it out to be. 

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that the audience score is mostly reflective of the type of dudes the movie is saying might want to tone it down, show a little empathy, and acknowledge that what women go through is often terrifying in lots of shitty ways, and such. I get why it makes people so angry. Everyday misogyny is indeed horror.

I think it stems from self-important groupthink. Probably from the people that watch a movie that offends them because they are terrible/weren't raised right and shit on it because it challenges them. Critics get paid to critically think about this stuff. There is a reason we care about their takes, which obviously discourages groupthink. 

Overall, I loved it. The payoff near the end is insane and super powerful. From a scary movie perspective, it had a lot of suspense. A horror movie that makes you think and unnerved. Every dude should watch it. 

Barbie - Greta Gerwig - 2023

★★★★★-Movies are back! Barbenheimer weekend is here! Come on Oppie let’s go party! It’s fantastic! I haven't been this excited for co-releases in my life. Watched Oppenheimer on 70 mm IMAX in the row that Nolan says I was supposed to watch it in. This in the very first showing open to the public. Then followed it up with Barbie on its true release date. Both were instant classics. While Cillian Murphy might be the biggest lock of all-time for Best Actor, I believe Margot Robbie is close for her portrayal of Barbie. Wow, what a weekend!

Barbie was beyond what I was hoping for. Fantasized that Ken and Barbie would become self-aware, and the movie would basically turn into Drive. Which basically happened! Masculine rage, consumer take down, female empowerment, pro social progress. What a film. Had some flaws, but the good stuff was really unbelievably good.

Margot Robbie takes the lead as the icon, while Ryan Gosling plays a doofus, yet charming Ken. Together, they embark on a captivating journey of self-discovery, following Barbie's existential crisis. Robbie and Gosling are amazing. I mean, dear god, Robbie is spectacular. At different points, Amy Schumer and Anne Hathaway were considered for the main role before the rights transferred to Warner Bros. In 2018. Would have probably been a completely different film. I couldn't imagine anyone but Robbie. I'll watch every movie she is in from here on out.

Gosling's Ken is just out of control. I laugh just looking at this facial expressions. His Ken is a dumb guy that discovers sexism. His rage is absurd. As is his "Ken's Mojo Dojo Casa House" and love for patriarchy and horses. America Ferrera (Ugly Betty, Superstore), who plays a mom going through her own existential stuff who joins Barbie on her quest, is great as well. She delivers the best monologue about what it is to be a woman I've ever seen. This should be required viewing for all penises. 

Other Barbies include Kate McKinnon as Weird Barbie, Hari Nef (a trans actress) as Dr. Barbie, Dua Lipa as the Mermaid Barbies, and Issa Rae is President Barbie. Like that Weird Barbie wasn't “Crazy” Barbie. She just looked odd, but had gained experience. McKinnon is great. 

Rest of the main cast consists of Ariana Greenblatt coming in hot with the Gen Z perspective as the daughter, Rhea Perlman as co-founder of Mattel and creator of Barbie Ruth Handler, Helen Mirren as the narrator, and Will Ferrell as the Mattel CEO. Everything to do with the Mattel Corporation was cringy. Maybe worse than Nike in Air with how they basically claim that they “created” Michael Jordan. This is a Mattel movie, after all, so they are “in” on the joke of the movie, which somehow makes it worse. All that stuff is also unfunny and doesn't work. Could have cut it completely, and it wouldn't have mattered. There was a moment when I was truly concerned, but we got out of that storyline and were back to Barbieland. 

The Kens, collectively, are hilarious. Ones I recognized were John Cena as Kenmaid, a merman Ken, Scott Evans (brother of Chris), and Simu Liu, he was Shang-Chi in the Marvel flick Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings. He's really funny as Gosling's rival Ken, beaching each other off. Sort of recognized a few other Kens, but they are kind of a dime a dozen. 

Loved Michael Cera as deep cut character Allan, who in the Barbie universe is Ken's BFF and knocked up Midge, who also appears in the movie. In the film he comes off as an awkward tiny man who doesn't have any idea why he is. He doesn't beach very well, but does some ass kicking. 

Directed by Greta Gerwig, who is quickly becoming one of the best directors alive, she brings Mattel's beloved Barbie and Barbieland to life. She also co-wrote the screenplay alongside Noah Baumbach. The set design is unreal. It feels like The Truman Show, The Wizard of Oz, Singin' in the Rain, and The Matrix all rolled into one. 

The very end wasn't the best, didn't really land the pink plane, but the end leading up to that was solid. In fact, the whole third act was incredible and completely bananas. There were a lot of little kids in my showing. I can't imagine what they thought of what was happening then. As an adult, though, it's awesome. The Kubrickian opening was phenomenal as well. Highly recommend. 

Huesera: The Bone Woman - Michelle Garza Cervera - 2023

★★★★-Another movie that affirms my child-free status. Solid debut from director Michelle Garza Cervera available on Shudder. This is not my kind of movie though. Again, Rotten Tomato had it right there at the top that this maybe wasn't my cup of tea: 98% Critics Ranking, 63% Audience Score. However, I made it through, and I'm thankful I did as this was another thought-provoking horror flick that has something to say. Plus, the end gets totally cray. 

Never seen anyone in this film before in my life. Stars Natalia Solián as Valeria, the protagonist of the film. She is a really pretty lady. Like a combination of Rosario Dawson and Cristin Milioti of Palm Springs. Her husband is played by one Alfonso Dosal, who seems to be something of an up-and-comer. Others whom I don't know that are in this movie include Mayra Batalla in the role of Octavia, Sonia Couoh as the sister, Mercedes Hernández as the aunt, and Aida López as Valeria's mother. 

Gist is this woman Valeria finds out she is preggers. Her joy at becoming a first-time mother sours when she starts to realize she is cursed by a sinister demon or something. Danger closes in, most people think she is insane and definitely unfit to be a mother. Shit escalates until she turns to traditional ways to rid herself of this dark entity. 

Valeria is obviously under a lot of stress. Her husband is one of those, “what are you talking about, you crazy woman?” types that are some prevalent in horror movies. “You're just a hysterical woman!” So is her family. Her mom and her sister are fucking horrible. Her “spinster” aunt seems pretty cool, but the worst thing that could happen in this family is ending up like her. Then the sister tells her, “people like you shouldn't have children.” Thanks for the support. Of course the husband sides with the family. In general, everyone treats her like an insane person. 

Takes us on a weird side story suddenly that follows a female lover of the protagonist, I thought. This Octavia, the lover, is hanging out with this lesbian couple. One is leaving. The other is staying to go to college even though her brother was killed in the city they were planning on fleeing. “What is happening here,” my notes read. At some point I realized that this was her back in the day. It took me an embarrassingly long time to pick up on that. Anyway, they obviously had a good life, but it didn't work out. Now, Octavia has a pretty dope life in her non-child ways. She hangs out with lesbians, boxes, goes to rock shows and house parties, has casual sex. Her freedom is showed in contrast to Valeria, who keeps creeping back into Octavia's life. 

Several pretty unsettling scenes of the body horror persuasion. Lots of bones poking through skin. There is also a poor chained up dog that barks like crazy and then ends up dead. If you do this to a dog, we are going to have problems. You and me. But one of the most subtly fucked up things I caught was a picture in the OBGYN's office of a baby coming out of a woman's stomach. I'm not sure if it is surgical or what, but it's just casually there to freak the patients out, I guess. Then, of course, there is this defenseless baby whose life gets played fast and loose with. I had to Google “does the baby die” to see if I could finish it. Just FYI, if that triggers you. 

Had myself a sort of feminist film triple feature with this, Unwelcome, and Lucky. The gist of all of them was when your wife or daughter is pregnant or going through some real shit and maybe having some mental health issues, maybe don't berate her. Crazy idea, right? But this is how we act as a society. Have compassion. Be cool and fucking care.