Friday, October 11, 2024

31 Days of Halloween: Nicolas Cage: Prisoners of the Ghostland: A Wild Ride That Misses the Mark

 Prisoners of the Ghostland - Sion Sono - 2021

 


★★-Day 11 of the Nightmare on Film Street  31 Days of Halloween Horror Challenge. Nicolas Cage night. Recently did a Nic Cage inventory. Of the roughly 120 movies he has been in, I’ve seen about 75. This was one I missed. Should have stayed that way, but I’m kind of a completist.The production value is pretty outrageous. Ghostland is what I imagine North Korea is like, but with Chop Top from Texas Chainsaw 2 instead of the butterball Kim Jong. It has actors I love. Built as a dystopian world that blends Western and samurai cinema, we get the typical themes of redemption and survival as Hero makes his way through the treacherous terrain and its mutated inhabitants. I was expect a combination of Mandy, Waterworld, Fury Road, and Kill Bill rolled into Battle Royale. I was stoked.

Here are the deets: Nicolas Cage plays a notorious criminal named Hero, who is sent on a mission to rescue the adopted granddaughter of a warlord played by Bill Moseley. She’s held up in a supernatural wasteland known as the Ghostland. Hence Prisoners of the Ghostland. 


When Cage is on, he is on fire, sometimes literally. Back when, Cage said in an interview that the film is “the wildest movie I’ve ever made.” So, you know, time to buckle the fuck up. I thought. Spoiler. It’s fucking not. 


Directed by Sion Sono, who is considered a hot shit auteur out of Nippon. So, you know, he’s got that distinctive style, which includes grotesque violence, extreme eroticism, surreal imagery, complex narratives, a cynicism toward modern Japanese society, and so forth. His portrayal of women has sparked debate, with opinions divided on whether his works are misogynistic or feminist. Another spoiler. He’s a fucking misogynist. In 2022, he faced allegations of sexual misconduct from actresses within the Japanese film industry. So he’s probably done, at least in America. 


Sofia Boutella plays the granddaughter that needs saving. Recognize her from movies Kingsman: The Secret Service, Atomic Blonde, Fahrenheit 451, Hotel Artemis, and Rebel Moon, among other things. 


Nick Cassavetes, son of John Cassavetes, who was cool as fuck, is about the only other person I recognize. He will always be Lyle Pike from one of my 80s favorites, Blind Fury. He plays part of this pair of brothers trying to eliminate a blind samurai type Rutger Hauer. Hauer is trying to rescue his army buddy played by John Locke from Lost who is forced to make meth for the Reno mob. There is a very memorable scene where Cassavetes and the brother get trapped in an elevator. One says “shit”, while the other says “fuck”. They then look at each other and in unison say “shit fuck”, gifting the world that little gem. 

Anyway, this flick is bonkers in a what-the-fuck-is-this way. Turns out it is a lot of boring nonsense. Like, why are the weird desert people turning folks into mannequins, House of Wax style? No fucking idea. 


Then, halfway through the movie, I realized it sucks. It is just interesting enough to keep you watching, but doesn’t deliver on the wild ride that we were promised. For example, I’m about to turn it off, then I see one of Nicolas Cage’s testicles. It is really something. I’m talking outside of his sack, held in his hand. Some new territory there. How’s that for what the fuck? 


This is followed by 20 minutes of exposition in the form of a maybe dream. I don’t know. Then zombies show up. I guess it is supposed to be an apocalypse, spaghetti western, kung fu mashup. Feels like there are a lot of allusions to other media, but I wasn’t getting them. 


Overall, Cage was solid, as were most the other stars, though it was not a good viewing experience. The Nick Allen review on RogerEbert.com sums it up pretty well. “No movie with Nicolas Cage, directed by the wonderfully weird Japanese director Sion Sono, should be this taxing, drawn out, and plainly boring.” It was one of the worst movies I’ve finished. Monumentally bad. Bad in a might be camp way, but not enough to convince me it was intentional.  

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