Castle Freak - Stuart Gordon - 1995

★★ - Real bummer of a movie. Son dies and daughter is blinded when Jeffrey Combs’s character gets hammered and crashes with them in the car. He then inherits a castle, which he hopes will reignite his and Barbara Crampton’s sex life. But, alas, the castle comes with a freak. 

Metaphor horror. Freak’s dick is cut off. Jeffrey Combs, who moves into the castle with the freak, isn’t having sex (until he brings home a prostitute that the freak kills). They're lives are parallel. JK. This movie is just nuts. 

Really not fun scene towards the end when the naked, penisless freak gets rapey with the blind girl who looks to be a child. I don't want to see that shit. Not my favorite.

The Munsters - Rob Zombie - 2022

★★ - This movie is so fucking insane. I didn’t hate it, but there is no way Rob Zombie ever works again. Find his films pretty hit or miss. Wanted to like this so bad but it’s a miss. 

I love Rob Zombie and Sheri Moon. Sweet vegan people. Go team. I know a guy that was a guitar tech for him-and a bunch of other people-and he says they are the kindest people. And have I mentioned they’re vegan?

However, I have no idea who the audience for this movie is. I feel like maybe me, but hell, I don’t know. Sort of for kids but no way they’re going to get 50s references thrown at them a mile a minute.

Nick at Nite was big when I was a kid. I watched this in the Addams family all the time. I remember debating with my friends on which one was better. I’m still not sure which way I go. I fucking love both of them. Gateway into horror shit. 

That said, sigh. This movie makes some odd choices.

Rockstar/standup comedian Herman Munster is anti-funny. He’s over the top but wasn’t the worst either. For the record, Hurley from Lost is the worst. 

Sheri Moon Zombie I think is underrated as an actress. She plays Lily. People think she is terrible, but I think she is more than fine. The grandpa guy was solidish, too.

Thought that Lily was going to be pregnant at the end and that was gonna lead into a sequel, but that didn’t happen. One of those movies I was sort of into but had no idea what was happening. Think I’ll forget about it entirely in a year.

Ghost Stories - Jeremy Dyson and Andy Nyman - 2017

★★★ - From anthology night for the Nightmare on Film Street movie challenge.

Through most of it I thought it was great. One of the most consistent anthology movies I’ve seen, me thought. The first one was all right, the second one was low-key and dope because of the actor, and the third one is just a holy shit kind of tale. Connecting story is even more what the fuck. Seems pretty normal at first but just goes to fucking what the fuck, shit your pants territory.

The end, though, is so cliché that it fucking ruins the movie. I’m tempted to spoil it it was so fucking stupid. Some throwback you can’t do this anymore without pissing off your audience shit. If this was an ending to a story you wrote in high school you would fail.

Star is this guy Andy Nyman. Looks familiar and he should because I've seen him in roughly 30 things. However, I don't really remember him from any of them.

Martin Freeman is the big draw. He never disappoints. This Alex Lawther kid steals the show though. Might recognise him as the lead in The End of the F***ing World or an especially disturbing Blackmirror. I confuse him with the kid from Sex Education, Asa Butterfield. They are, in fact, not the same person though.

Drag Me to Hell - Sam Raimi - 2009

★★★★ - My underrated movie for the Nightmare on Film Street challenge. My third watching since coming out. Still dig it.

What’s not to love? Humor, gypsy curses, falling anvil, Deadites, talking goats, so forth. Plus literal draggings to Hell.

Stars  Alison Lohman, Justin Long, and Bonnie Aarons as the old woman. 

I’m gonna watch anything that Sam Raimi does. It is my opinion he has not made a bad movie. I’ll put this one in the middle for him but still pretty great.

Most people probably know this but Raimi features “The Classic,” a 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88 that he supposedly lost his virginity in, in nearly all of his films. It was Ashy Slashy’s car in the Evil Dead movies, for example. The gypsy drives it in this flick.

So, liked it. But I can not abide by a movie where they killed the cat.

Fresh - Mimi Cave - 2022

★★★★★ - Comedy/horror night for the Nightmare on Film Street movie challenge. From some time back.

Probably the longest start of the movie to opening credits I’ve ever seen. Follows the girl from Where the Crawdads Sing, Daisy Edgar-Jones, who meets handsome and seemingly sweet Sebastian Stan. They go on a few dates and decide to take a trip together. Shit really hits the fan then. 

This is a trigger of a movie. According to my partner, this is what everyone woman is warned about and fears. Really made me empathize with her and everything women go through. Not really what I was expecting from a random horror movie. 

Totally loved it. It is crazy intense and disturbing. It’s gonna make you think about stuff you don’t really want to think about. But, again, great.

Dead Man’s Shoes - Shane Meadows - 2004

★★★★★ - Revenge flick. Not quite horror, but it is horrific. Great, great film. Super fucked up.

David Fincher/Christopher Nolan-esque. Black and white when in the past. Mind-blowing twists. Definite influences.

Pretty ingenious. Guy escalates his “pranks” on a group of assholes as we see what they did to his handicapped brother. As that stuff gets more fucked up so does his revenge plot.

There is a scene where they go to this woman’s house who they forced to have sex with the handicapped kid where all of them are in this tiny car. We’re talking six dudes in a smart car type of shit. A literal clown car pretty much. They are the type of guys that when having someone come at them, they choose to drink their ass’s off and do cocaine and weed to prep. I might want to be clearheaded in that situation, but what do I know. 

Gets progressively way more fucked up as the movie goes on. Illustrates that revenge fantasies aren’t really all they’re cracked up to be. Though I am an atheist, I’ll say this guy NEEDS Jesus. I don’t have that in me, I don’t think. “I am the monster.“ Maybe if I was in a situation like that but who knows. Warning, this is not an easy watch. I cannot stress this enough. Incredible film though.

Ghostwatch - Lesley Manning - 1992

★ - Found footage night for the Nightmare on Film Street movie challenge. This is actually a mockumentary. Not streaming anywhere. Had to run down to Vulture Video, a local rental place that carries obscure, avant-garde films, to get it. Physical media, y’all! 

Gist is a bunch of BBC television personalities/broadcasters investigate a haunting that they present as live television. Gets progressively crazier until shit goes down, sort of. When it originally aired there was a short disclaimer at the beginning saying it was fake, but they obviously knew what they were doing. People lost their minds and called the number on the screen which supposedly said again that it was fake but over 1 million people called and no one got through. It’s never been rerun in the UK.

Found it to be pretty meh. However, the mother at the house they are investigating keeps talking about her ex-husband’s “gloryhole.” “I’m sorry, did you just say gloryhole?” It’s what he called his dark room. Things didn’t work out between you, you say. 😒

Who Invited Them - Duncan Birmingham - 2022

★★- Watch a lotta Shudder’s new stuff. Every once in a while you get a Mandy or Revenge. Mostly you get shit like this, though. Sort of entertaining but forgettable garbage movies. 

This one is about a couple who host a party at their new house they got a deal on because of murders that happened there decades before. When the party is over they discover a couple neither one of them invited who claim to be their neighbors. Things go well, but they won’t leave. Hijinx ensue. 

Stars Ryan Hansen from Party Down fame, Melissa Tang, Timothy Granaderos, and Perry Mattfeld. People that look familiar but you can't quite place. 

There were times when it was really engaging. Then there were things that happened that didn’t really go anywhere or add to the movie. Not great, but the performances were solid.

Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight - Ernest R. Dickerson - 1995

★★★★- Darkness dweller night for the Nightmare on Film Street 31 Days of Halloween Horror Challenge. Went with this old favorite. 

Billy Zane and his lower-level demons go after William Sadler, an immortal demon warrior, I guess, to steal a key that contains the blood of Christ. All the stars literally aline and he goes to a shit hotel to find his replacement. The tack on the crypt keeper stuff at the beginning and the end. Forgot how much I loved the show back in the day. 

Really cool mythology in the flick. This is definitely one of those movies that critics hated but us amateur folk love. Really appreciate the run Ernest Dickerson had in the 90s. Was Spike Lee’s cinematographer from Malcolm X (among others) before directing Juice, Surviving the Game, this movie, and Bulletproof. 

Really solid cast. Zane and Sadler. Jada Pinkett Smith. CCH Pounder. Dick Miller. Thomas Haden Church. He’s pretty funny, too, because he is so dumb. The Who Framed Roger Rabbit guy. 

Like that he plays the “good guy with the gun” who is actually a perv gun-nut who was planning a mass-shooting. He’s a disgruntled postal worker which was “funny” in the 90s for some reason. 

Child actor is super terrible. The way he utters, “he got my parents,” is maybe the worst delivery in any movie I’ve seen. Explodes at the end of the movie though. 

Bought a lot of Billy Zane stock in 1995 after seeing this for the first time. Super funny. Cool. Charismatic. Punches through people’s heads. 

Just noticed that when Billy Zane offers the old woman her arm back, it’s the wrong arm. There’s also a scene where he’s obviously dragging around a manikin that is supposed to be a Jada Pinkett Smith.

Autopsy of Jane Doe - André Øvredal - 2016

★★★★- I am doing the Nightmare on Film Street 31 Days of Halloween Horror Challenge. October 1 was “first time watch.” Got my list squared away. Most are actually first time watches. 

Started off the month with a good one. Total bear bones horror hat manages to be legit scary. Could’ve been a play as Brian Cox and Emile Hirsch (both of them give pretty great performances) barely leave the autopsy room. 

The duo play a father and son team of coroners. They have to conduct a mysterious autopsy and determine cause of death when the body of a young woman shows up at a gruesome murder scene. As they conduct their work, supernatural shenanigans start going down and things go cray, as they do. Ending is weak and a total bummer but everything up to the last 10 minutes is fantastic. Also a movie that kills the cat. Will always make me like your movie less. 

If anyone else is interested, I am linking to the site which also has an explanation:   https://nofspodcast.com/horrorchallenge.