Def by Temptation is the okayest movie of all time

Def by Temptation. "Honey, I've given you something there's no cure for." I'm on a real string of shit movies. However, this was fun. Won a pair of tickets to a screening of this at 10pm at a bar on a school night. If I had seen it was a Troma movie, I would've stayed home. 

Gist of this blaxploitation movie is a vampirous succubus preys on black men in New York City. However, it is this southern kid Joel who is on his way to becoming a "world-famous minister" whom she really wants. She has aspirations of taking him down like she maybe did his father, played by the Samuel L. Jackson who is in the movie for roughly two minutes but is on most of the posters, and whiping out his whole bloodline. Not exactly sure what is going on there. Anyway, this Joel kid comes up from North Carolina to visit his friend K, played by Kadeem Hardison from A Different World. His is the best performance in the movie. Cynthia Bond plays the succubus. I've only seen her in this. Also, there is a cop who specializes in supernatural cases played by Bill Nunn whom you may recognize from the Dennis Leahry show The Job or as the guy who takes a bullet up his bunghole in Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead. Ouch. He's pretty solid as well. This 1990 flick stars James Bond III as Joel. He also wrote and directed it. He is pretty terrible and is incapable of carrying this movie, though the talent around him is solid. 

There is a scene extremely early in the movie where the succubus chases a naked, terrified man covered in blood around her apartment. This scene features some full-frontal wang doodle, telling you right off the bat what type of movie you are in for. 

While it was sort of fun with a cast that was mostly solid, a good movie it was not, although it is pretty bonkers in an enjoyable, Troma sort of way. It looks good enough that I looked up the cinematographer. Was suprised to see it was shot by one Ernest R. Dickerson. Dickerson mostly directs television now, with some impressive credits to his name. But I remember him for a few of my favorites from my junior high years, including Juice, Surviving the Game, Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight, and Bulletproof. That's an incredible four film run. All movies my brother and I watched repeatedly. 

Some of my other faults are that the succubus randomly and inexplicably gives one guy AIDS, there is some explicit homophobia, and the plot goes off the rails a couple of times. Felt it could have been tightened up, for sure. Plus, the ending is dumb and too easy. Things I enjoyed are that it was beautifully shot. The soundtrack was solid. Some surprisingly awesome special effects, like when a character is eaten by his image on his television. And I love that it is super early 1990s New York. 

Secret Obsession is the worst movie of all time

Secret Obsession. "What happened? How did I get here?" "You were in an accident, and you hit your head. You don't remember me, do you?" Awful all the way around. Basically a Lifetime quality movie. Feel that it mostly consisted of the main actress unconvincingly limping around. It's rotten as fuck. 

Rotten Tomato Consensus: While it may offer some thrills and unintentional laughs, Secret Obsession is mostly a formulaic and dumb thriller.

Released in 2019 on Netflix, the gist of the movie is a woman suffers a head injury when she is hit by a car. She can't remember shit, but her creepy husband is there to help her put the pieces back together. But she has this suspicious that she is still in danger. There are a couple of parts that made me LOL, but I assure you they are unintentional--again with the limping around and once when an actress is running away from a dude, and has basically gotten away but falls down the stairs out of nowhere.

Directed by one Peter Sullivan, a guy who indeed specializes in Lifetime and Hallmark movies with mostly Christmas flicks to his name. It stars Brenda Song, whom I've never seen, in the lead role. Mike Vogel who you might recognize from Cloverfield plays her husband. A woman named Ashley Scott who looks hella familiar plays the nurse helping the amnisiac recover. Her biggest credits include the show Jericho, a sex robot in A.I. Artificial Intelligence (one of the worst Steven Spielberg movies), Into the Blue, and some show I've never heard of called Birds of Prey. The only person I really recognized is Dennis Haysbert. He is the black guy that played President David Palmer on 24 and Pedro Cerrano in Major League. However, you probably most know him as the "you're in good hands with Allstate" guy. He goes about investigating the accident in an uninteresting way, motivated by his dead daughter somehow? 

This is a film that asks, can two injured people take on one able-bodied man? Also, how many scrambled eggs can a woman eat in one sitting? This came recommended from someone with dubious taste. I feel this is the most basic movie I've ever seen. Easy, generic plot that a high school kid could have come up with. Acting is mostly screaming and limping around or looking like an asshole. Did not like. 

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension is the worst movie of all time

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension. "Shut up, John Big-booty, you coward. You are the weakest individual I ever know." What a weird movie. This was one of an ex-girlfriend's favorite movies. Here, 15 years after we broke up, I've finally got around to watching it. 

Gist is that a world-famous crime-fighting brain surgeon, rock star, adventurer test pilot and his team  must stop evil inter-dimensional aliens called the Red Lectroids (basically lizard people) set on infiltrating American society to conquer the world. 

Released in 1984 the flick was produced and directed by W. D. Richter, who directed one other movie, Late for Dinner, which I have seen. It's about two young men running from the law who get accidentally cryogenically frozen in the early 1960s before waking in the 1990s. Drama ensues. It is fucking terrible. He also wrote the screenplay for Big Trouble in Little China, the John Carpenter flick. Anyway, back to Buckaroo Banzai. It stars Peter Weller (the robocop in Robocop) in the title role. Also in the film are Ellen Barkin (This Boy's Life), Jeff Goldblum, John Lithgow (who looks like the Headless Horseman in Sleepy Hollow), and Christopher Lloyd also playing major parts. 

Lot of that guy actors, most notably John Lacey who plays the POTUS. He was Toht, the disgusting Nazi guy whose face melted in Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark. He is completely unrecognizable. Others include Clancy Brown (most people think of him as the asshole guard in The Shawshank Redemption), Dan Hedaya (Nick Tortelli from Cheers), and Vincent Schiavelli (who was famous for being weird-looking), among others.

I know the movie sounds fun, but it's all over the goddamn place. However, there is some charm in that and it has a crazy cult following. It has its moments, but its not my cup of tea. Perhaps if I was more into sci-fi.