Heat: The action is the juice

Heat - Michael Mann - 1995

★★★★-Pacino and De Niro square off in a legendary hist movie. Uh, yeah. But similar to my feelings when I saw it 30 years ago, it was a little disappointing. 

Rumors have been around for decades that Pacino and De Niro were never on the set at the same time due to their supposed rivalry. They've done three movies together total. Remember watching this when it came out on TV. All of them are classics. My friends at the time were high on Pacino. I've always been a De Niro guy. It was my take back then that Pacino is terrible in this movie. That is still my take. I feel they've both done a lot of shit over the last decade, but have their performances, especially Pacino as of late. De Niro really gets the best of old Al in this one for sure. Also, both of them are recent fathers, which is insane. 

Gist of the movie is an intense conflict between an LAPD detective, Pacino ,and a seasoned criminal, De Niro. As the story unfolds, it delves into the impact of this clash on their professional relationships and personal lives. Plus there is lots of shooting and killing with long hist scenes going through downtown L.A. 

Directed by Michael Mann. He could do no wrong there for a while, but has been on a losing streak as of late. Other films of his include  Manhunter, The Last of the Mohicans, Heat, The Insider (great flick), Collateral, Public Enemies, Miami Vice, and the much maligned Blackhat. He originally penned the script in 1979, drawing inspiration from Chicago police officer Chuck Adamson's pursuit of the criminal Neil McCauley, It became the 1989 television movie  L.A. Takedownbefore getting a rewrite. 

Ensemble cast is insane. Includes Pacino, De Niro, Val Kilmer, Natalie Portman, Jon Voight, Tom Sizemore, Amy Brenneman (a total “that chick” that didn't quite make it to A-List), and Ashley Judd in major roles. Also, Danny Trejo, Wes Studi (probably most recognized from The Last of the Mohicans), Diane Venora (also never quite made it), William Fichtner (total that guy), Ted Levine (Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs), Mykelti Williamson (Bubba from Forrest Gump), Tone Loc, Tom Noonan (Francis Dollarhyde in Mann's Manhunter, the homeowner in The House of the Devil, the big bad in RoboCop 2, Frankenstein in The Monster Squad, the Ripper in Last Action Hero, dude is pretty much always a psycho), Dennis Haysbert (the AllState guy), Hank Azaria (Apu, Moe, Wigum, and other voices from The Simpsons as well as Patches O'Houlihan in Dodgeball), Kevin Gage (a real con mostly remembered for this), and Henry Rollins (love when he shows up in anything). Hell, Bud Cort makes an appearance. Lastly, Val Kilmer looks like a poor man's Brad Pitt. 

Some notes... Pacino's dealing with some shit on top of his job. Wife is irritated that Pacino is four hours late for dinner because he was investigating a triple homicide. Well, yeah. Step-daughter, played by a young Natalie Portman, attempts suicide, and his wife starts boning this guy named Ralph. Poor Ralph. Just trying to have sex and watch some TV. Had no idea he was in for, getting used to tame an unhinged, obsessive policeman by his crazier, pot-smoking wife. Law enforcement agencies really don't like it when the spouse does drugs. Just FYI. 

Sort of taken on masterpiece status. Didn't receive any Academy Award nominations, though now it is considered one of the most influential works in its action-crime genre. Last year, it was announced that a sequel is in development. 

Really tense final showdown. Two dudes running around on the tarmac firing guns at each other as planes take off around them. This was pre-9/11. Dude was home free, but he's got to kill a piece of shit. The police working with a serial killer to catch a bank robber (who does kill people), seems like a real deal with the devil. 

Overall, not the classic some people claim. But solid. A three-hour movie that just flies by is always appreciated, but somewhat daunting. Finally, Sizemore kinda steals the show. Hard to like the guy, as he might have been a pedophile. But he is pretty dope in this flick. Delivers one of the greatest lines ever in “For me, the action is the juice!” De Niro is sick, too. If you have three hours to kill, you can probably find worse ways to spend it. 

Throne of Blood - Akira Kurosawa - 1957

★★★★★-Over the course of three decades, Japanese director Akira Kurosawa masterfully crafted three Shakespeare-inspired films: Throne of Blood, an adaptation of Macbeth, set in feudal Japan, The Bad Sleep Well a crime noir thriller based on Hamlet, and Ran, an epic samurai tale inspired by King Lear. Each of these films showcases Kurosawa's exceptional talent for blending Shakespearean themes with the rich cultural tapestry of Japan.

Watched all of these Shakespeare inspired films for a Shakespeare Tragedies seminar I took in college. It was one of my favorite classes. We also read a lot of Samual Beckett along with the six Shakespeare plays we focused on: Hamlet, Julius Caesar, King Lear (my favorite), Macbeth, Othello, and Richard III. There were some others, of course, Merchant of Venice and The Tempest, for example, which are technically comedies, but are both as dark as they come. Anyway, this was my favorite adaptation, at the time. We'll see how I feel now. The class really opened up my eyes to Kurosawa. I love his films. 

(Side note, for this class we all had to present on something Shakespeare related. I did pop culture Shakespeare, really going into detail about the film Scotland, PA, which is also based on Macbeth. It is incredible and hilarious. I also talked about pornography based on the Barb. The one title I remember was A Midsummer's Night Cream, which sounds like something that would make me vomit. I got an A+ in that class and would kill for that professor, by the by.)

Throne of Blood was Kurosawa's first reimagining of Shakespeare's work, transporting the plot from Medieval Scotland to feudal Japan, cleverly infusing elements from Noh drama. Noh is a classical Japanese dance-drama that dates back to the 14th century and remains a major theater art in Japan today. It is the oldest theater form still regularly performed. Noh integrates masks, costumes, and props in dance-based performances, relying on highly skilled actors and musicians to convey emotions through stylized gestures. The plays often draw from traditional literature, with supernatural beings transforming into human heroes who narrate captivating stories. Iconic masks represent various roles, from ghosts to deities. Pretty cool shit. 

The film stars the iconic Toshiro Mifune and Isuzu Yamada, in the Macbeth and Lady Macbeth roles, respectively. Mifune's portrayal of a man unraveling is something to behold. Imagine this is a dude's first day ruling shit and he goes insane and starts fighting ghosts that aren't there. I imagine this wouldn't go over well. When he has his freakout moment in the forest and receiving prophecy, it truly is masterful filmmaking. Ghostly, strange, full of rage and madness. This is Macbeth at its finest. A raving lunatic with the enemy literally at the gate, taking arrows from his own army like he's Scarface. 

Remember the last circle of hell in Dante devoted to this type of shit. Chewed on by Satan with Brutus, Cassius, and Judas shit. The scene where the guards getting blamed get shot with arrows and chased off is messed up. 

The Lady Macbeth role isn't as strong as the Shakespearean version. In this, she shows up suddenly and is immediately like, “kill your lord, yo.” Feel like maybe he is relying on everyone to know the story or something. Plus, she is constantly swishing around in her little Geisha getup. Hearing that 24/7 would make me want to murder, too. 

Classic Shakespeare meets feudal Japan. The film more or less retains the essence of the play. Gist is a warrior who, upon hearing a prophecy from a witch in the wood and with the prodding of his ambitious wife, kills his lord to consolidate his power. Despite the changes in setting, language, and creative liberties taken, the film is widely regarded as one of the most exceptional film adaptations of the play. Universal story shown in a uniquely Kurosawa way with a uniquely remarkable ending.

Overall, the scale of the film is staggering for a production outside of Hollywood in the 1950s. I still love nearly every second of this film. Could have been shot yesterday for all I know. It looks incredible. Samurai look is a good one. I might dress and do my hair like that. The prophet dance is a really tense and great scene. Think there could have been some more character development overall. Less than the Shakespeare plays, for sure. But that is a minor complaint. Highly recommend. 

Haunted Mansion's talented cast can't outrun gimmicky plot

Haunted Mansion - Justin Simien - 2023

★-A Disney supernatural horror comedy based on a ride. I know, sounds like trash. And it is!

Yeah, looked bad, but I was intrigued by the star-studded ensemble cast and the director, whose work I like. Talent includes LaKeith Stanfield, Tiffany Haddish, Owen Wilson, Danny DeVito, Rosario Dawson, Dan Levy (whose in the movie for like 15 seconds), Winona Ryder (also barely appears in the film, but is quite the comedic heat check), Jamie Lee Curtis, and Jared Leto. Directed by Justin Simien. He also directed the movies Dear White People and Bad Hair, both far superior films. 

A movie that spent over a decade in development hell, which shows. Guillermo del Toro was originally attached in 2010. Gist of it is one Gabbie (Dawson, who is so pretty) and her son Travis (Chase W. Dillon) seek help from a team of experts (Stanfield, Haddish, Wilson, and DeVito) to exorcise their haunted mansion and kill the sinister ghosts that haunt them.

My issues with the film. First, it is obscenely long for what it is. Neither scary, nor funny. I'm not really sure who this movie was for, as it's a little heavy for the kids in my life, though I would have hated it back then. I also couldn't imagine an adult liking the film. Overall, it was a hard movie to get through, especially with its over two-hour run time. 

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse - A Marvel-ous animated adventure

 Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse - Bob Persichetti, Peter Ramsey, Rodney Rothman - 2018

★★★★★-I was more or less done with superhero flicks, but I kept hearing about how great this and the new one are. So here I am, back in the Marvel Extended Universe. And glad to be, as this film was great. 

Drawing inspiration from the "Spider-Verse" story arc and the debuts of Miles Morales in the Ultimate Marvel comics. Gist of the film is that Miles assumes the mantle of Spider-Man and joins forces with other Spider-People from parallel universes to protect his own reality from the villainous Kingpin, among other familiar foes. 

Computer-animated Marvel flick that follows the Miles Morales as Spider-Man storyline. Directed by Bob Persichetti, Peter Ramsey, and Rodney Rothman in their feature directorial debuts. Solid ensemble cast includes Shameik Moore as Morales, accompanied by the voices of Jake Johnson, Hailee Steinfeld, Mahershala Ali, Brian Tyree Henry, Lily Tomlin, Luna Lauren Vélez, John Mulaney, Kimiko Glenn, Nicolas Cage, and Liev Schreiber. 

Nothing but positive things to say. Soundtrack was dope. Really felt the going from public school and quietly killing it to struggling at private school. Though I wanted to be there. Smart, rich girls was indeed where it was at. Great depiction of a father-son relationship. Pretty beautiful really. 

I loved all the Spider “People”. I'd watch a short about each of them. One of my favorite things about the flick. 

Overall take: Great story. The art looks great. Well acted. What sets it apart is the skillful balance it strikes between embracing its source material and cleverly satirizing it. From the very start, viewers are drawn into an immersive world, filled with vibrant colors and thrilling adventures. Probably my favorite animated film I've seen since Coco back when it was in theaters. Can't wait to see the new one. 

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is easily the most disappointing movie of all time

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - Steven Spielberg - 2008

★★-Upon my first watching, in my opinion, it wasn't a complete train-wreck, but just an okay movie, which made it by far the worst Indiana Jones movie. But still, not completely terrible. Just average, which was a disappointment. Appreciated chances were taken, but those chances didn't work. However, it was unenjoyable on some levels. This was all wishful thinking. 

Now, after some estimated 3,000 movies. Oh, it's shit. 

Gist of it. Set in1957, the story follows archaeologist Indiana Jones, who is racing against Soviet KGB agents to locate a telepathic crystal skull hidden in Peru. To aid him in this perilous mission, Jones is joined by his former lover, Marion Ravenwood, and their son, Mutt Williams. The film's supporting cast includes Ray Winstone, John Hurt, and Jim Broadbent, adding depth and excitement to the cinematic journey.

Stars Harrison Ford, Karen Allen is back as Ravenwood, Shia LaBeouf plays the son. This was in the middle of Harrison Ford's “why am I here?” phase. He has moments, but isn't really Indiana Jones. Cate Blanchett plays the main KGB agent, one Irina Spalko. She gives us an Oppenheimer reference. Quotes the famous “Now I become death. Destroyer of worlds.” Dealing with Cold War stuff, after all. 

Other notables include John Hurt (Alien 1984, Midnight Express, The Elephant Man, so forth) and Ray Winstone (mostly think of him as the lead in Sexy Beast and as Nickolson's right-hand man in The Departed that asks Leo if he is on his period when he orders a cranberry juice). Hurt plays a crazy rival of Dr. Jones who was with Ravenwood romantically but just lays down when Indiana comes back into the picture, which sure. Winstone is a triple agent, or some such shit. Basically a poor man's Belloq.

Directed by Steven Spielberg. Near the bottom of his films. Fourth installment in the Indiana Jones series. Last of the Spielberg films in the series. 

Not a whole lot to like here. Going to South America was cool. LaBeouf is solid. Feel his performance is the best part of this movie, but his storyline doesn't quite work. In the middle there when him and Indiana are walking around in the caverns is pretty decent, actually. 

Now for the stuff I didn't like... Lot of age related jokes. “Get on, gramps,” “what are you like 80?”, so forth. Horrible exposition. The scene with Ford and Shia is awful. Followed up with really bad stunt doubles. It's also too long. A real slog to get through. The crystal skulls isn't a story we know like the best of the films. This MacGuffin is no Ark of the Covenant, for example. Also, there is a stupid/infuriating scene where Shia swings his way across the jungle like a monkey, like a human with no experience can suddenly just do something like this. 

Finally, there are two parts I really, really hate. Opening is unbelievable and dumb and unwatchable. No way Russians would be able to organize and break in to a classified area with basically no problems in the 1950s. Then the government tests a nuke with all of this shit with the Russians going on. What is happening? This is the infamous “nuking the fridge” scene. More or less everything in that first 25 minutes is just painful. 

Look for my rankings of the Indiana Jones films in the near future. Probably not going to come as much of a surprise, but I might have a couple of spicier takes. 

The Invitation, a boring, skipable, vampire affair

The Invitation - Jessica M. Thompson - 2022

★★-Released the last week of 2022, so I count it as this year pretty much for “New Horror.” 

Supposedly draws inspiration from Bram Stoker's Dracula, the story revolves around a young woman who (Nathalie Emmanuel) who recently lost her mother. She encounters her long-lost family members in England, visiting the old country for a wedding at a country mansion. However, as she delves deeper into the lives of the people at the manor, she stumbles upon sinister secrets, plunging her into a world of chilling revelations.

Stars Emmanuel from Game of Thrones and Army of Theives (she is really pretty), Thomas Doherty (whom I've never seen), Sean Pertwee who was Alfred in the series Gotham and apparently always plays a butler, and Hugh Skinner from Fleabag and Les Misérables.

There are some red flags that she ignores. Like, who the hell prints out social media pages other than a complete psycho. Why not just save that shit in a digital file? Oh, he conveniently hates technology so that it has to be printed and found. Alright, I'm out. 

Best part of the movie is the setting. The mansion is beautiful, as are the people and clothing. These folks make the rich private school kids I went to high school with seem middle class. I'd make a great rich guy, just saying, if anyone wants to leave me something in their will. I'd be great at entertaining, telling war stories with a 120-year-old wine in my hand, and I wouldn't even kill anyone in my murder library. 

Speaking of, you would think someone would start asking questions when three maids go missing in less than 24-hours. But I guess when you are this rich, it doesn't matter who you kill or whatever in any country.

Feel there is a decent movie here somewhere, and the ending is pretty satisfying, though improbable. But it's just your standard vampire movie. Nothing too memorable. Waste the setting, and it drags a bit until shit hits the fan. Takes an hour and 10 minutes to get that somewhat predictable twist, but I wasn't expecting it to come about the way it did. But if you've watched the trailer, even that won't come as a surprise. Then the last minute of the movie was terrible. 

Forest of Death - Brendan Rudnicki - 2023

★★-Not going to blow anyone away, though it's fine for what it is: a decently-done, low-budget digital straight-to-streamer that is occasionally scary. It's also only 75 minutes long (though it feels longer). The acting is pretty terrible, which is made worse when they go for it. But, the filmmaking is better than average, and the story is pretty engaging, if familiar, even if the monster is new. 

Gist is a group of friends go to a secluded cabin. Unbeknownst to them, a “skinwalker “lurks in the adjoining woods, biding its time to pick them off. 

Directed by one Brendan Rudnicki. He's done several movies in this lane, including The Girl in Cabin 13, The Haunting of the Murder House, and The Devil in the Room. Stars what look like usuals of his in Chloë Marie Rhoades, Dylan DeVane, Stephanie Kirves, Tyler Miller, and Benjamin L. Newmark. Have never seen any of them in my life. Though this Marie Rhoades looks exactly like someone on another program I've watched recently, but can't place. Someone I recently thought looked like Hilary Duff... Ugh. Don't got it. The lead in The Haunting of Bly Manor, mayhap. The blonde. The daughter in Cobra Kai? IDK. Still think it's someone else. Oh, well. 

Other things I liked: The pre-credits sequence is great. I was in after that first couple of minutes. Had a few pretty good scares to kick things off, and shows a decent looking monster. Then, the opening credits themselves has a really creepy theme that plays over creepy artwork that tie in to what happens later. So far, this movie is exceptional. 

Things I didn't: There is a stupid plot-hole where one of the two pairs packs everything up to leave, and THEN goes to get the other pair to leave. Dousing firewood with gasoline asking for trouble from the fire gods. The main guy is trying to make it out there as a photographer. This guy's photos are terrible. I was a real pro whose work was serviceable. This guy cannot make it out there. 

Overall, I'm glad I watched it, but don't really recommend it. Reminded me of the movie Bag Head. Some talent here, but still not there, partly because of budget constraints. 

They Cloned Tyrone delivers clever social satire and compelling storyline

They Cloned Tyrone - Juel Taylor - 2023

★★★★-Overall, thrilling story that blended humor and suspense with excellent performances. Has something of Westworld quality to it. I loved it, though it drags on a little near the end. Still a phenomenal social commentary and with subtle humor that will reward multiple viewings. Currently streaming on Netflix. Released on Barbenheimer Day. 

Stellar cast. Stars John Boyega (Attack the Block, the new Star Wars movies), Teyonah Parris (Candyman, Dear White People.), and Jamie Foxx, who produced the film. Easily in my top three Foxx performances. Together, the trio embarks on a journey to unravel a hidden government cloning conspiracy that threatens to keep black communities from self-improvement. Also appearing in the film are David Alan Grier and the renowned Kiefer Sutherland.

The directorial debut of Juel Taylor, I thought it was another Boots Riley film until I saw it wasn't at the end. Shares a lot of DNA with Sorry to Bother You, which is a major compliment in my book. Taylor co-wrote the with Tony Rettenmaier. 

Clever, odd, compelling with a great score that includes a version of “Call Tyrone” that is awesome. The performances are stellar, and the social satire hits home without being preachy. Fans of blaxploitation as well as people that appreciate comedy sci-fi/mystery will find the movie especially enjoyable.

From Black, promising premise, but ultimately forgettable

From Black - Thomas Marchese – 2023

★★-Serviceable. Atmosphere is haunting/unsettling. Performances are solid. Story is engaging. However, it goes off the rails a little bit, getting unnecessarily challenging and tedious. There is a good movie that gets lost in an intricate web of a goat sacrifice, salt circles, hieroglyphics, spell conjuring, and dark takes on Finding Nemo. It was all a little overwhelming/complex. Feel that it kind of out-kicked its coverage. 

A young mother struggling with addiction is plagued by guilt after the disappearance of her young son, which she is suspected of causing. A man from her support group comes to her and promises to unveil the truth about what happened to her son and tells of a ritual that might bring him back. However, the cost she must pay has terrifying implications. In the end, she must choose how far she is willing to descend into darkness for a shot at redemption.

Directed by Thomas Marchese. Only other feature is a movie called Fallen that I've never heard of from 2017. Not a bad debut, though he isn't really offering anything super fresh into the well-trod horror genre. Stars Anna Camp as the lead, Cora, John Ales as Abel who introduces Cora to the dark arts, Jennifer Lafleur as the detective sister, and Travis Hammer as the druggy ex. 

Get a horrific child abduction and murder. Just a warning. The mother has an out-of-body experience that she has to watch. A demon tells her she can't speak, “lest this be your last memory of him.” Wow, that was f*****. The music makes the whole thing about 100 times worse. It's a disturbing series of burps. Thankful we were spared seeing the goat die. Eating raw goat meat doesn't seem like a good idea. 

The whole plot with the ritual goes off the rails. This is mostly because the guy running the ritual has picked a woman who can't follow instructions, which is on him. 

Towards the end something predictable, but satisfying happens. I think that's why the Critics' Score is so low and the Audience Score so high on Rotten Tomatoes. Tainted though so that gambit doesn't work. Demon didn't say anything about that when making his demands, which is lame. 

Something super messed up about this is the guy who kills her son was he was in her support group led by Abel at the beginning of the movie. It's a really complex, sinister implication. The way I read that is that this guy killed Noah so that Abel could use her as a vessel. There is some room for interpretation here. I feel this takes the movie up a star, for me. Sort of recommend for hardcore horror fans. 

Shiny Happy People: Duggar Family Secrets

★★★-This docuseries explores the bullshit, double-lives of the right-wing evangelical Duggar family of 19 and Counting or whatever that documentary series was about the parents and their damn near 20 kids. They presented themselves on the electric teevee machine like this god-fearing, all-American fam. What they had behind closed-doors, when the cameras were off, was abuse, sexual-repression, theft, right-wing politics, forced religion, and child porn. F*** these people.

Ah, messed up church shit. Thank god I wasn't born into that shit. Their teachings go against everything I believe in, and are radically anti-Christ. Makes me physically ill, these cults: Scientistology, Jehova's Witnesses, Later Day Saints, so forth. First off, it is sort of shocking at how all of these cults are pretty much the same. Pretty much always comes back to sex and control.

These f***ers

I went to church less than 10 times when I was a kid and only once with my parents (we were visiting a cousin who was a pastor). Every time, it sucked and was generally pretty messed up. Most of these experiences came when I stayed the night with the wrong kid on Saturday night. One such time I tried to ditch a kid when he told me we were going to church the next day. We were at a bonfire and I tried pawn myself off to another acquaintance that was there. The dude who I was staying with's parents shamed me for doing this. But I didn't give a flying shit. I was not trying to do that shit.

I dated a girl that was homeschooled in Rogers, Arkansas, where a lot of this takes place. She went to Shiloh Christian, the same school Daddy Dugger went to. She confirmed that this was not great. There were things she wouldn't talk about that would come out when she was drunk. Lot of this same shit in this program.

Lot of stuff that made me sick to my stomach in this piece, which is quite good, but no different from the many other docs like this I've seen. Lot of child labor for no pay. Even when these kids become adults, if they don't do what daddy says, then they get nothing. More or less slaves, forcing your own kids into shitty contracts for no compensation is low. Having child porn and raping your sisters? That's fine though. Repressing sexuality always ends up going well. Mike Huckabee defended them, of course, despite them being pervs. What a shit?

BlackBerry, the silly, scrappy Canadian tale of corporate hubris and hilarity

Blackberry - Matt Johnson - 2023

★★★★-BlackBerry is quite the smart, scrappy flick that oscillates between silly and deadpan in the best possible way. Canadian indie flick. I loved it. One of the best films I've seen this year. Story, pacing, dialogue, acting, and characters are all fantastically executed. Film grabbed me from the very beginning. 

Gist of the film is a fictionalized account of the creation of the BlackBerry line of mobile phones by co-founders Douglas Fregin and Mike Lazaridis, along with investor Jim Balsillie. With all these corporate movies of late, the film shows a Canadian company that changed the world, but it's not Air. This isn't a positive portrayal. It's a company that got too big for its britches and caused its own destruction through hubris, skirting the law, and self-sabotage. 

Stars Jay Baruchel (This is the End, She's Out of Your League) as Mike Lazaridis and Glenn Howerton (Dennis Reynolds from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia) as psychopathic co-CEO Jim Balsillie. Others include director Matt Johnson, Michael Ironside (Scanners, RoboCop), Saul Rubinek (Unforgiven, True Romance), and Cary Elwes (The Princess Bride)in supporting roles.

Directed by Matt Johnson and co-written by Johnson and producer Matthew Miller. Loosely based on the book Losing the Signal: The Untold Story Behind the Extraordinary Rise and Spectacular Fall of BlackBerry by Jacquie McNish and Sean Silcoff. 

Howerton elevates what would have been a solid flick into a great one. He plays his usual sociopath, only with more rage. Like a dead-eyed predator. Yet, there is still a lot of humor in that misguided rage. He comes off as a guy that might physically attack the people that work for him he is so quick to hilariously fly off the handle, asking them to do the impossible. He's worth the watch alone. 

Renfield - Chris McKay - 2023

★★★-It was pretty fun, but not as fun as I was expecting. Think they should have leaned into the comedy a bit more. While the tone was a that of an action/comedy, it didn't really have many jokes that landed. Plus, it felt like it mostly just of pretty bad CGI. And lastly, I think Awkwafina was somewhat miscast. Also, it was kind of a mess. 

Gist is Renfield, Dracula's loyal henchman/long-term inmate at an asylum, yearns for a life free from his master's relentless demands and the gruesome bloodshed that accompanies them. Goes to codependent anonymous meetings to break away, but it doesn't go well for anyone. 

Directed by Chris McKay. He also did The Lego Batman Movie and The Tomorrow War. Cast includes Nicholas Hoult in the title role, Nicolas Cage as Dracula, Awkwafina as a cop/love interest, Ben Schwartz (Jean-Ralphio from Parks and Rec), and Shohreh Aghdashloo (House of Sand and Fog and 24).

Spent some time in development hell. Universal was planning on doing a series of reboots based on the old monster flicks with a shared universe, which would have been cool. This was supposed to be the next movie after the Tom Cruise led film The Mummy, released in 2017, but it bombed. Later, screenwriter Robert Kirkman, who did the original draft, presented a rewrite that was more comedic in nature, which was eventually green-lit. 

Overall, it was alright, mostly because of the performances by Cage and Holt. Renfield, on the whole, is played for laughs – though make no mistake, it is a gorefest. Over-the-top, bloody action is always appreciated, by me at least. Can't get past that CGI though.

Cage's portrayal of Dracula steals the show, blending humor while still drawing inspiration from past actors who played the iconic character. Lugosi, Christopher Lee, and Gary Oldman come to mind. Whenever he takes center stage, the film comes alive in ways it doesn't when it's Holt and Awkwafina. Say what you will about the guy, Cage is always super captivating. 

However, Renfield falls somewhat short due to not capitalizing on its promisingly hilarious premise. While entertaining, the film hints at a more vibrant, dynamic, and absurdly amusing movie yearning to break free. It's enjoyable, but one can't help but feel that it missed the opportunity to be truly extraordinary.

Barbie - Greta Gerwig - 2023

★★★★★-Movies are back! Barbenheimer weekend is here! Come on Oppie let’s go party! It’s fantastic! I haven't been this excited for co-releases in my life. Watched Oppenheimer on 70 mm IMAX in the row that Nolan says I was supposed to watch it in. This in the very first showing open to the public. Then followed it up with Barbie on its true release date. Both were instant classics. While Cillian Murphy might be the biggest lock of all-time for Best Actor, I believe Margot Robbie is close for her portrayal of Barbie. Wow, what a weekend!

Barbie was beyond what I was hoping for. Fantasized that Ken and Barbie would become self-aware, and the movie would basically turn into Drive. Which basically happened! Masculine rage, consumer take down, female empowerment, pro social progress. What a film. Had some flaws, but the good stuff was really unbelievably good.

Margot Robbie takes the lead as the icon, while Ryan Gosling plays a doofus, yet charming Ken. Together, they embark on a captivating journey of self-discovery, following Barbie's existential crisis. Robbie and Gosling are amazing. I mean, dear god, Robbie is spectacular. At different points, Amy Schumer and Anne Hathaway were considered for the main role before the rights transferred to Warner Bros. In 2018. Would have probably been a completely different film. I couldn't imagine anyone but Robbie. I'll watch every movie she is in from here on out.

Gosling's Ken is just out of control. I laugh just looking at this facial expressions. His Ken is a dumb guy that discovers sexism. His rage is absurd. As is his "Ken's Mojo Dojo Casa House" and love for patriarchy and horses. America Ferrera (Ugly Betty, Superstore), who plays a mom going through her own existential stuff who joins Barbie on her quest, is great as well. She delivers the best monologue about what it is to be a woman I've ever seen. This should be required viewing for all penises. 

Other Barbies include Kate McKinnon as Weird Barbie, Hari Nef (a trans actress) as Dr. Barbie, Dua Lipa as the Mermaid Barbies, and Issa Rae is President Barbie. Like that Weird Barbie wasn't “Crazy” Barbie. She just looked odd, but had gained experience. McKinnon is great. 

Rest of the main cast consists of Ariana Greenblatt coming in hot with the Gen Z perspective as the daughter, Rhea Perlman as co-founder of Mattel and creator of Barbie Ruth Handler, Helen Mirren as the narrator, and Will Ferrell as the Mattel CEO. Everything to do with the Mattel Corporation was cringy. Maybe worse than Nike in Air with how they basically claim that they “created” Michael Jordan. This is a Mattel movie, after all, so they are “in” on the joke of the movie, which somehow makes it worse. All that stuff is also unfunny and doesn't work. Could have cut it completely, and it wouldn't have mattered. There was a moment when I was truly concerned, but we got out of that storyline and were back to Barbieland. 

The Kens, collectively, are hilarious. Ones I recognized were John Cena as Kenmaid, a merman Ken, Scott Evans (brother of Chris), and Simu Liu, he was Shang-Chi in the Marvel flick Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings. He's really funny as Gosling's rival Ken, beaching each other off. Sort of recognized a few other Kens, but they are kind of a dime a dozen. 

Loved Michael Cera as deep cut character Allan, who in the Barbie universe is Ken's BFF and knocked up Midge, who also appears in the movie. In the film he comes off as an awkward tiny man who doesn't have any idea why he is. He doesn't beach very well, but does some ass kicking. 

Directed by Greta Gerwig, who is quickly becoming one of the best directors alive, she brings Mattel's beloved Barbie and Barbieland to life. She also co-wrote the screenplay alongside Noah Baumbach. The set design is unreal. It feels like The Truman Show, The Wizard of Oz, Singin' in the Rain, and The Matrix all rolled into one. 

The very end wasn't the best, didn't really land the pink plane, but the end leading up to that was solid. In fact, the whole third act was incredible and completely bananas. There were a lot of little kids in my showing. I can't imagine what they thought of what was happening then. As an adult, though, it's awesome. The Kubrickian opening was phenomenal as well. Highly recommend. 

Evil Dead Rise - Lee Cronin - 2023

★★★★★-Shotguns. Chainsaws. Wood-chippers. Eyeballs getting bitten out and spat into a child's mouth. A literal bloodbath, they use over 6,500 liters of fake blood. This is what the Evil Dead films are about. 

I found this to be shockingly good. A near perfect movie worthy of the franchise, my favorite in all of horror. Blows the 2013 movie out of the water. My only minor complaint is that I don't really like not knowing where this fits in with the other films. But how do any of them fit in? 

Gist is estranged sister Beth (played by Lily Sullivan) visits older sis Ellie (Alyssa Sutherland) and her three kids (Morgan Davies plays Danny, Gabrielle Echols plays Bridget, Nell Fisher plays Kassie), two of whom are high school aged, and the youngest girl, Cassie, who is roughly seven or eight, probably, I don't know. They live in a dilapidated LA apartment that is about to be condemned and torn down. It apparently had many other lives before it was converted to apartments, including a bank. After an earthquake opens the floor of the parking garage, Danny goes into what used to be the vault and finds the dreaded Book of the Dead and some records translating the ancient text. Despite his sister Bridget's warnings, he listens to the translations, which unleash the Deadites. Standard Evil Dead setup, but in a new local, which was pretty cool. What follows is glorious apartment dwellers vs. the dead action. 

Directed and written by Lee Cronin. His only other feature to date is The Hole in the Ground back in 2019. The fifth installment in the Evil Dead film franchise. The main guys associated with the original creators had their hands in this film as well. Rob Tapert, who produced the original, produced this one as well director Sam Raimi and actor Bruce Campbell executive producing. The idea for this film came after plans for direct sequels to Evil Dead (2013) and Army of Darkness were abandoned and Ash vs Evil Dead was cancelled after the third season, which still hurts. 

Overall, loved it. The opening is fantastic. Doesn't mess around. Wastes no time putting you in this world. Then, when the kid plays the record, and we get that old familiar “Kandar”, followed by the zoom, got chills. 

While I may see the first three films in the rosiest glasses possible, I was pretty critical of the ones that don't star Bruce Campbell. However, Cronin gave me everything I wanted in terms of nods to Raimi's films while also making it his own. The monster's final form is not something we've seen before and was the perfect way to one up the holy hell vibe. Definitely not for the faint-hearted, this is the bloodiest film in the franchise with any character potentially dying horrifically. It's groovy. Come get some. 

Slasher

★★★-The Canadian version of American Horror Story. Canadian Horror Story, if you will. Like AHS, it's an anthology horror series that changes storylines from season to season. Also like AHS, it starts with a good premise that features much of the same ensemble cast from season to season, draws me in, and then gets sloppy as hell. 

Season one is about a family in a murder house, season two about a group of adults that go back to this summer camp where they killed a chick years before, in season three a group ritually kill a dude and then start getting picked off themselves, season four follows a rich family slashing it out for their dad's family fortune, and season five is about Jack the Ripper, this season aired earlier this year. 

Actors are people I sort of recognize but can't place as they are Canadian. Notably appearing in the show is David Cronenberg, the most Canadian of everyone. He appears in the fourth season, “Flesh & Blood,” the most outlandish of them all, in my opinion. 

Example from that season: In this family of psychos, when there are two left, the decent one and the one that seems decent, they bone, this is like a half aunt and nephew that are the same age and didn't know they were related until recently situation. The one that appears decent starts talking about how he should get the money and then he'll marry the other one so she can have some too. She is like, uh, thanks. Dude then volunteers that he has a confession, doesn't want to hold anything back, since his fam is so messed. He got drunk and plowed through a preschool and killed a bunch of children. This when he is laying in the chick's arms in prime choking position with all these murdered people strewn about the house. Under the circumstances, it would be hard not to kill him, if you know what I mean. 

Anyway, a pretty alright show that I keep watching. Better than AHS, I think, as I do keep watching it. 

Oppenheimer might end up being the best movie of my lifetime - Christopher Nolan - 2023

★★★★★-Initial thoughts after seeing it as early as possible. An easy five star movie. Nolan has gone full nuclear. Couple of reviews had built it up to something between The Social Network and Citizen Kane. It's better than both. We are talking earthshaking cinema. Everyone walked out of the theater silent, mesmerized, and in awe. 

This is a man that knows his place in history. With his expression and gaunt, hollow face, he looks like a man that's cursed. 

Cillian Murphy as Oppie is incredible. No doubt he'll be up for all the awards. Emily Blunt, Matt Damon, and Robert Downey Jr. are all great. Of them, I'm thinking Damon will probably see some recognition at awards season. Florence Pugh is maybe a little underutilized, but is stellar every second she is on-screen. Figure she might see some nominations as well. Also have solid work from Kenneth Branagh, Josh Hartnett, and Rami Malek, among others. Lastly, Casey Affleck has a small but pivotal part. Thought he was still persona non grata. Seeing him breifly took me out of it, but his character is an unbelievable asshole, so that fits. 

Seeing it in IMAX 70mm is an experience. I even found where he said where to sit, “right near the front, middle of the third row,” and sat there. Unreal. Believe the hype.

Two minor complaints. 1.) I thought the movie was a little too long. Feel like it maybe could have trimmed a bit off, and been a little tighter. 2.) Was expecting it to be way trippier. Wish Nolan would have leaned into the abstract maybe a little bit more. But I still loved it. Heard people asking if they really detonated an atomic bomb for the film, which is insane, but that is how good it look. 

Favorite scene is after the bomb was dropped on Hiroshima. Oppenheimer addresses the people on the base, telling them what has happened. Everyone, including him, is completely shell-shocked. Nolan does an incredible job of replicating that feeling on screen. Music and sound are perfectly utilized here (and throughout) as well. 

Stellar film. Having seen it a few times now, I truly believe this overtakes There Will Be Blood as the greatest film released in my lifetime. For me, probably ever. A must-watch. 

Inception - Christopher Nolan - 2010

★★★★★-Last movie from my Christopher Nolan rewatch before going into Oppenheimer. Saved my favorite, going in at least, for last. What a goddamned mindfuck of a movie. I LOVE Nolan. All of his films are spectacular. He is a true genius. One of only a handful currently making pictures. I believe this is his best movie. I watch it at a rate of every six years. Saw in the theater, in 2016, and just the other day. While I think I might understand it more, my brain can only take so much. That's what happens when we get dreams within dreams to the god knows what degree. 

The gist is Leonardo DiCaprio plays a professional thief who steals information by infiltrating the subconscious of his targets. He's an international criminal who is offered the job of implanting an idea into the subconscious of a target (played by Cillian Murphy). In exchange, he'll have his record expunged. 

That's the short gist, of course. The film is extraordinarily complex with the thieves entering dreams, within dreams, within dreams. Like six levels of this. This flick is the ultimate mindfuck.

Written and directed by Nolan, who also produced the film with his wife Emma Thomas. Ensemble cast includes DiCaprio, Ken Watanabe, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Murphy, Marion Cotillard, Elliot Page, Tom Hardy, Dileep Rao, Tom Berenger, and Michael Caine. What a crop.

Won four Oscars (Best Cinematography, Best Sound Editing, Best Sound Mixing, Best Visual Effects) and was nominated for four more (Best Picture, Best Original Screenplay, Best Art Direction, Best Original Score) at the 83rd Academy Awards. Lost out to The King's Speech, one of the many miscarriages of justice, that film winning. Was up against what I think is the second best film of this century in The Social Network.

Could have lived with this film winning as well. Can read it in about 10 different ways. What it means, how it ends, so forth. I find it incredible that this isn't at the top of everyone's list of best Nolan movies. However, I will grant that his top three are all unquestioned masterpieces, and all of his films are great. Off the success of one of those masterpieces, The Dark Knight, the emboldened Nolan went full Nolan.

High-concept, big budget, character-driven art house film that was the culmination of everything he'd learned up to that point. A master craftsman at the top of his game firing on all cylinders making a superb film that requires multiple viewings to appreciate. I loved it the first watch, my first IMAX viewing. I have loved it infinitely more with each viewing, and it's been a different watch every time. Challenging and rewarding. This is a top five film of this century. It is genuine movie magic. 

Single White Female - Barbet Schroeder - 1992

★★★-Saw this when I was way too young, at around 10, and it has haunted me ever since. To this day I warn people of the dangers of living with someone you don't know who may start trying to look like you to give your boyfriend fellatio. Revisiting for my second watch after 30 years, the movie is still creepy as shit, but this mostly comes out of the incredible performances and memorable scene as the movie is pretty shit. I feel especially leads Leigh and Fonda are going all out in what amounts to a trashy movie. 

So let's get to it. Gist is one Allison Jones (Bridget Fonda) catches her fiancee cheating and kicks him out. To make ends meet, she begins to rent an apartment room to one Heady Carlson (Jennifer Jason Leigh). At first its all great. Puppies, hanging out and watching old movies, swapping jewelry. Then Fonda starts getting back with Sam and things go down hill immediately. 

Ger

Directed by Barbet Schroeder. He did the 1995 remake of Kiss of Death with a killer ensemble cast that includes David Caruso, Samuel L. Jackson, and Nicolas Cage. Cage's performance in that flick is bananas if you've never seen it. Anyway, this film stars Bridget Fonda, Jennifer Jason Leigh (JJL) as the psycho biddy, and Steven Weber as Fonda's on again, off again fiancée. 

Fonda is extra cute. Looks a whole lot like a girl I date in grad school. Two of my old man's gems were “son, never date a chick with shorter hair than you,” and “son, never date a redhead with shorter hair than you.” This might be a thing for me. Anyway, so, everyone is thirsty as shit for Fonda in an extremely creepy way. Ned Ryerson gets all rapey. “It's a doozy!” JJL (who also throws herself at Steven Weber) is also obviously thirsty for her. Fonda is constantly oversleeping, causing her to be tardy though, which is super unattractive. 

Some real what the shit is happening red flags that characters just keep ignoring in regard to Heady. First, there is stuff with a dog. As soon I saw that puppy, I had a really shit feeling. JJL kicks at it once and it ends up dead. This at the 42-minute mark. The coming down with the same haircut is a real what in the actual fuck moment. But the most WTF happens with Steven Weber in his hotel room when we get to see his O-face. Some rape shit from this chick. 

Ew

At one point, near the end, JJL hints that Fonda would get blamed for all the murder and such because people would think that it was actually Fonda as they look just alike. Would have been an even scarier movie if no one had actually seen JJL or there weren't other breadcrumbs that suggested she exists. As is, since several people have seen her at this point and her parents are calling and so forth, it is more just another way that JJL is messing with her mind. 

Lastly, I know it is hard to end a movie, but this ending was bad. After all the action goes down, Fonda's character gives an incredibly dumb voice-over to take us out. The gist of it is basically, “I cried every day for a week, but my gay best friend says I should get over it. I guess I need to move on. That was JJL's problem, she never moved on. Don't want to end up like her. She taught me a lot.” WTF? That's what you're leaving us with? Fine, whatever.