Sunday, April 26, 2020

MacGruber is the greatest movie of all time

MacGruber. Dead at the age of who the fuck cares. I'm a little embarrassed at how much I laughed at this movie. I was a little fucked up and this really got me laughing. A few times. Him boning his ghost wife in the graveyard and getting a view of what another in the graveyard sees, him humping the air like a maniac in front of a tombstone, that shit was funny. Movie, however, was not well received by critics. But what the hell do they know. Multiple LOL causing scenes. Not often a comedy gets one genuine one. What more could I ask for? Greatest movie of all time. 

One of the better SNL skits turned movies. Gist of this flick is that MacGruber, a former Navy SEAL/Army Ranger/Green Beret and recipient of 16 Purple Hearts, goes back to work for the US Military to stop his nemesis, Dieter Von Cunth, who is planning on detonating a nuclear warhead at the State of the Union. MacGruber fucking hates Cunth for killing his soon to be wife at their wedding as they are exchanging vows. He teams up with a first-year with no combat experience, played by Ryan Phillippe, and his dead fiancee's best friend, played by Kristen Wiig. 

Staring in this movie are is Will Forte as MacGruber. Wiig as work partner and love interest Vicki St. Elmo, MacGruber's. Maya Rudolph as the dead fiancee. A shitton of wrestlers: The Big Show, The Great Khali, Mark Henry, Chris Jericho, Kane, and MVP.  Powers Booth whom I mostly think of as Senator Roark from Sin City and the sequel--he plays the army guy that recruits MacGruber. And Val Kilmer plays the heavy, Cunth, but I'm just going to call him Val Kilmer. It was directed by one Jorma Taccone of the comedy trio The Lonely Island. 

Basically going to try to explain why this shit is funny, which is always a tall order. Just know that it's basically Will Forte throwing 100 miles an hour for two hours. Example, throughout the movie, MacGruber tells like eight to ten dudes that he is going to rip their dicks off and feed it to them. Eventually, Val Kilmer calls him out on it and MacGruber is like well, I've got a killer line I'm going to say to you! At the end, during their final showdown after Kilmer has survived an explosion that resulted in excessive burning, Kilmer is all giddy, telling him to say the line to him. MacGruber says "how's your dick taste while reaching for it in the guy's pants. No dick. "Haha. It got burned off in the explosion." This causes MacGruber to go into a blind rage and do this: 

Then there is this little ditty of an exchange that had me fucking dying. 

Piper: Why did he do it, why did Cunth kill your wife?    
MacGruber: To this day, I have no idea.    
We actually all went to college together. Believe it or not, we were very close friends. After graduation, he got engaged to her. He asked me to be his best man, and right about that time I started banging her and mowing her box. She was actually the first person I felt comfortable enough around to uh, let eat out my butt.    
Anyway, shortly thereafter, she left him for me, she was actually carrying his child at the time. I asked her to terminate it obviously, so we could start fresh, and she agreed.    
We were so in love. He took that from me.    
Piper: That's really fucked up.    
MacGruber: Thanks.
I couldn't stop laughing through this shit. Anyway, though Forte was fucking insane, I thought that Wiig won the movie. That chick is so great in everything and always steals the show. Not quite on the level of Kate McKinnon, who I think is maybe the funniest SNL cast member of all time, but she is always great. Perfect in this. And her and Forte obviously have comedic rapport. 

Side note. There is a scene where Wiig dresses up like MacGruber to act as a decoy in a Starbucks. He makes her order his drink, he's all about that Tazo Tea, and when she drops the change in the tip jar, he tells her through her ear piece to fish it out, he would never tip. They then meet back up both dressed as MacGruber. This would be a dope couple Halloween costume. I think that is what I and my female companion may go as this year.

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