Wednesday, July 3, 2019

Mystery Team is the greatest movie of all time

Me and my colleagues are positively abreast with...currency and we'd like to buy some cocaine

Mystery Team. Gotdamn I love this movie. Female companion has What We Do in the Shadows which she would watch every day if she could. MT is that movie for me. It's my falling asleep movie. It's about a group of kids, young adults really, who have a clubhouse type of mystery service that solve shit like who stole Mrs. whatsherface's pie and where is some lost cat. They get in way over their heads when a little girl hires them to figure who murdered their parents and shit gets cray. I love everything about this. Features totally absurd humor. Still LOL every time I watch it. Great little murder mystery.

Solid cast that were unknowns at the time. The most famous of them in 2009 was Bobby Moynihan from SNL who was in the flick for like a minute and a half. The rest of them were known, at that time, for their comedy troupe Derrick Comedy for their skits on CollegeHumor. Donald Glover (the "master" of disguise of the detectives and the one least in touch with reality) and Aubrey Plaza would become pretty huge not long after with their respective roles in Community and Parks and Recreation but the only one anyone recognized when this came out was Ellie Kemper from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt for the skit "Blowjob Girl" which she hates and is unfortunate.

While Glover totally wins the movie with his earnest and ridiculous portrayal of a kid who can't let go of his childhood, DC Pierson, who plays Duncan, the self-proclaimed "boy genius", is the one that really steals the show. Like how he is chosen to reach into a fowl ass toilet at a gentlemen's club whilst wearing a tuxedo (they really focused on the "gentlemen" part and thought it was something completely different) to retrieve a ring owned by the dead mom that ended up in a stripper which she peed out after one of the murder suspects finger banged her in the champagne room. "This looks like a job for the boy genius," actor Dominic Dierkes, who plays the skinny-ass "strong man" Charlie, says. They flee the strip joint and when they reconvene Duncan reeks. They ask him what the fuck and he tells them the smell is the dog urine he sterilized himself with. "You washed your hand with dog pee?" "No, of course not, I drank it." When they go to tell Plaza's character that they find the ring, Duncan, who tells Plaza the source of this smell, then pukes all over her, Glover, and himself.
"We thought to treat ourselves to a day of sport with other gentlemen."

Duncan has the best line of the movie as well. When basically telling Glover's character that he is insane and a loser, he screams "fuck". The other two look at him incredulously and he says Yeah, that's right. I've been saying 'fuck'. Going in the backyard and trying it out." Also, cracks me up when they are being held hostage by this crazy coked up drug dealer who is holding them at knife point and is super pissed that Glover's character has disappeared. After the dumb, "strong" one says that they didn't know the guy that they showed up with and were dressed like and that they thought he was with the drug dealer, hilarious, Duncan, suggesting ways to pass the time as, lucky for them, he brought Travel Scrabble. Or, as he likes to call it, "Trabble. Or Scravel." Duncan then says he is going to start with "Trabble." Charlie then tells him he can't spell that as it is not a real word which Duncan claims is the name of the game so of course it is a word. With the hostage taker getting pissed, Duncan then says, "You know what? Let's just play Travel Monopoly. Or, as I like to call it, Travopoly." That guy then loses his mind.

Every time I watch this I pick up on something new. This is genuinely a must watch if you like absurd, arrested development, both literal and the show, humor. Smart movie about stupid people. The best type of humor.

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